Like I am two persons

A little more than two weeks ago, i had an appointment with my psychiatrist. Then I was depressed, tired in a way that could not be relieved, stuffed (mentally)head etc. I felt like reducing my eployment.
The day after it went away, and the last two weeks; it has not been any problems working 150%, socializing and coping with short nights.
This is weird.
I have been like this since mid-teen age, bet have tended to forget my 3-5 week periods of depression in the relief of them ending. Besides, I have not accepted having a disorder or needing help. This time I asked for help.
I have learnt to behave close to normal, so nobody have seen. A natural enthusiast, hypomanias have not been remarked.
I have accepted my diagnose, and now i am just amazed.

Welcome to the BP forum Vita! I'm glad you decided to post!

Welcome Vita! Yeah, I know what you mean about feeling like two persons... I've had people (who don't know I have bipolar) comment on it because the contrast is so stark.
(and may I just commend your proper use of "persons" with a quantifier (two)? -- I see you are from Norway. Is English your primary language?)

Thank you
My primary language is Norwegian, English was the language for publications and congress presentations during my research years and still is in the books I mostly read presently. Besides it is fun to work with expressing myself in a foreign language.
I came to this forum both to put words on my disorders and to improve language skills.

About bipolarity.
The periods of depression tend to be insifikant vacancies in my life. In between, and during a depression, there is nothing else. That is probably why it took me so long before realizing that I should better seek help.

hi and welcome. Accepting this is not easy,but the dx will make it easier to treat and deal with

Well, I'm impressed, Vita!

It took a long time for me to get diagnosed too. The depressions were serious, but I didn't seek help. Somehow thought they were just personal failings (as in, why can't I just "get it together"?) and everyone around me would say the same, re-inforcing the idea. The depressions would sometimes go on for months. Then, just a few years ago, I had one that was massive. Even the ignore-things-and-they'll-just-go-away ex, finally said, "this is just beyond... you have to go see somebody". Unfortunately, I went to a GP that really didn't screen for BP and went straight for the ADs. Three years of disaster ensued. Finally did enough reading. Hitting upon BP was like reading my life story. Once on the right path and actually seeing a psychiatrist, things improved dramatically. I never recognized the hypomanias because I was so caught up in them and just thought it was "me" --super productive, full of ideas (<cough>, and not the most realistic sorts... )... not realizing there was any connection with fly-off-the-handle rage and major irritability. That's the short version...
(And I've really got to head out to work right now, so... be seeing you around the forums later! )

Hi Vita, glad you're here! I think you'll find lots of people here who can relate to your story, give you moral support and information about what works for them. Getting the correct diagnosis can take a long time (for me it was years), but once you get the correct treatment, things can be so much better.

I completely understand what you are going through. With a good mood stabilizer this has stopped for me. I have found that Lamictal has solved the ups and downs.

When I went through I did not really know I have achieved a lot and am looked upon as posessing knowledge and insight. Life has given me a lot of good experiences worth remembering. The dark periods have been dark and exhausting, but I have coped reasonably well and gained some insight.
Last spring I started on Lamictal, but feeling good at 100mg/day, I stayed on that - do not want too much medicine.
Now I am increasing the dose, hoping to stabilize.. I am a stubborn drug-sceptic.