Ooops....

Hi

Just need to get this off my chest. I went down this three days because my Pdoc has been tweaking one of my meds (the one that is causing the weight gain) I forgot just how hellish being down is...am back on my original dose plus a light sleeping tablet and today is not so bad, I'm functional again and feel my mood lifting.

I tend to isolate when I am ill and rang my mum today and told her about my last few days and she quickly changed the subject. I really am sick of her attitude its like yeah yeah. I am hurt and angry because she gives me no support and I absolutely know she thinks I am being selfish and I would love to call her up and tell her that she is a *****.

Obviously I won't call her, but I would love to.

Mary

Glad you are feeling better, thebosswoman! It's weird. I remember how hellish it is being down, but it's mentally --remembering in my head, but not viscerally. Which is a good thing(!) But. What I remember most is being waaaay down, so it's often hard to recognize lesser degrees, even if they're pretty serious.

I totally isolate. It is very good that you do reach out, so be sure to give yourself credit for that! On the mother thing... to my thinking, the biggest disappointments arise from the expectation part of things. To many, this is the hope/expectation of support from family. But sometimes it is simply not forthcoming. I let go of any expectations of ever having positive interactions with my mother, so this is not an issue for me. Maybe it is wrong (and I avoid speaking to her like the plague, maybe once a year, but that is kind of something else...and no, she doesn't know about the BP), but I realized I had to do it. Of course, my solution is rather extreme, but the point is more about expectations. Support is where you find it, not necessarily where you expect it. Kind of like that saying about friends being the family you choose. Also, maybe there is someone else in your family who would be supportive(?)

Get it off your chest all you like! That's what we're here for!

Mary, I'm sorry you have been depressed lately. I tend to isolate too, but it just seems to make it worse. Even if I just get out to the stables helps.....but I totally relate to not wanting to see anyone. It took a lot of courage on your part to reach out to your mom and it's brutal she responded that way.

Hi Mary, sorry you're having a tough time. Lots of hugs..

I'm sorry you've been down Mary and glad that you are better now. Don't waste your feelings by being angry and disappointed at your mother. She's probably just like everyone else and doesn't have a clue what it means to have a mental disorder. She simply doesn't understand. Therefore, just like Innerzone said, you should lower your expectations of her. Throw away the negative feelings! They never help!

Sorry to hear where you at - I know it can be very debilitating and draining. You need to try and get out and about - be around people and ensure you are doing things. Else it just becomes too easy to dwell on the negative emotions, instead of feeling them while they are there, and then moving on (I'm terribly guilty of doing this!)

I used to tell my boyfriend every now and again that I was feeling depressed, and he'd brush over it, which would make me very upset. I discussed this with my T, and she came up with the following possibility:
The people that "ignore" us are scared of depression themselves. They may have had negative experiences that they wish to block out. They may not know how to handle someone's depression. So they brush over it, so as not to have to deal with their personal issues.

I hope your mom does soon understand, but like Innerzone says, don't palce too many expectations on people - you have no control over their responses, and are likely to react negatively if their reactions do not meet your expectations.

I'm glad you're reaching out - remember: we are here for you too