[sugahorse1]

I know I've asked this before, but on Friday my T asked me if I'd ever thought of myself as possibly having BPD.
How would I be able to answer that question, when I was first told by my pdoc at the time that it sound like I suffered from BP???

I was told I was Bipolar for years then a Dr pointed out to me in a matter of fact way that no I was BPD !

I was upset as I prefered Bipolar lol but in the big scheme of things does it matter ?

One diagnosis is as much as muchness .....

Hugs to you I hope things turn out as you need them to...

[BlackPup]

Link originally posted by annieinside, great article on the differences and similarities of BP and BPD
BP vs BPD

[sugahorse1]

will have a look @ the link shortly. I do have those abandonment issues, and feeling of emptiness. I do tend to idolise one person, but i do not suddenly go to hate them. My relationships are volatile, but not from my side.
I do have a concern that there is a new stigma attached: bipolar is a chemical imbalance, therefore it is not YOUR fault. BPD is a personality disorder, so you need to pull yourself together and get on with it! Almost like BPD is not taken as seriously, or seen as quite as much of an issue as BP...?

[BlackPup]

There used to be a thought that BPD was untreatable... which added to the stigma thing. Now I think the dogma is that therapy can help more with BPD than was first thought...
To be honest I think taking meds for BP even with the side effects is easier than changing your personality... but recovery is possible with both conditions.
If meds alone aren't working for you (after they give you a decent cocktail!!!!) then maybe more therapy would. Therapy is also important for BP.

[sugahorse1]

thanks BlackPup.. I see my pdoc on 1 Dec. I'm sure she's dragging her feet because in her mind she's decided it's BPD...?? Like it's just not serious enough unless it's BP.
I see my T every Friday. We generally just crunch thro whatever's on my mind.
And i agree that my current meds of 100mg Lamictin and 0.5mg Klonopin is hardly a proper combo of meds. Really, people are not backwards in this country, but they can sure act ignorant @ times!
I wish someone would take me serious and treat the symptoms. I've never had full mania, so what's the concern around adding an anti-dep to try and help me!? I agree i may cycle too rapidly to really fit the profile of BP II...? Arg-i just want to feel better. And don't get me wrong; i'm ok today

[lotusflames]

i was diagnosed bpd before bp and now i have both on record.

bpd isn't treated by meds, but by therapy.

[sugahorse1]

I also initially thought that bpd was not treatable by meds, but a bit of research I've done does advocate the use of meds very similarly to BP. And of course therapy would play a big roll.
I was first dx'd major depressive Episode - at that stage I was ONLY on anti-deps. I still didn't get manic though.
Then a year later, they changed the dx to BP. i was put on a mood stabiliser and anto-deps.
Then i got so frustrated and stopped all my meds.
Now i'm with a new pdoc and she wanted to introduce meds one at a time, hence I'm only on Lamictin (Generic therof) until I see her again.
I really believe I need an anti-dep added. When I get down, I really get down. And I wasn't this bad when I was on an anti-dep too.
Maybe Im stuck with a mixture of both?!? (I know this can occur)

[blueoctober]

sugahorse, I think it's good that the T is looking at BPD. If you have been misdiagnosed and/or it's a dual diagnosis the correct diagnosis will help with the treatment process. BPD mood issues tend to be reactive, and a shorter duration. A person with BP can have a mood present for no reason and the episode tends to lasts longer. If you aren't already I would suggest tracking your mood. This mood tracker is excellent, and is password protected, but if you don't put your settings on private other people on the site can look at your mood tracker. I use the journal function, so I keep mine private.

http://www.medhelp.org/land/mood-tracker

[sugahorse1]

I have a mood tracker on medhelp (You can prob go see mine; under the same username) It's all over the place. It would appear I "cycle" too rapidly. Sometimes it is reactive, and at other times not - then there is just no explanation.
Oh well - I hope she'll rather consider a dual diagnosis, because I'm not sure either is correct on its own
Got a call that my pdoc may have an earlier opening for an app, rather than only 1 Dec - now to pluck up the courage and phone back... lol - I am mad!

[BlackPup]

when I was first on drugs that were not effective, my moods were all over the place like yours, but there was an underlying pattern of depression...
I'm sure that being on drugs effects the way we cycle, not always for the best...

[sugahorse1]

I'm not sure i understand ...?
I've been on 100mg Lamictin for a good few months now - no anti-dep yet.
underlying depression most of the time - extreme irritability today, but there are plenty of triggers and everything is going wrong!
I could quite happily just toss the meds - as right now I cannot imagine being in a worse boat than I already am

[Amazonmom]

I still don't understand why your pdoc has you on tiny doses of meds. 200 mg(sometimes more) is the number I keep hearing for what is likely to be the max effective dose for Lamictal....

Anyway, I sure your T and Pdoc get this figured out for your sake. No matter what the best treatment ends up being!

[sugahorse1]

Thanks Amazon.
I always get treated with kit gloves, when I really am very tolerant to meds...

[Fresia]

Many friends that I have that have been diagnosed with BPD have responded to meds. I'll have to find out which ones.

However, whether my BP or their BPD, CBT and DBT have helped tremendously. Primarily DBT for BPD, they have had great success and has been most effective in helping them in addition to meds; some have even said the DBT has even helped more than the meds. I know this therapy was initially started just for BPD and has since been used to treat other diagnoses. As it has components of CBT in it as well, if my diagnosis changed, I would look for a clinician who was DBT or CBT trained to help.

It is very much treatable and manageable but with patience and persistence. It may just be the different outlook on your diagnosis, to go at it a different way, to get the results you need.

In the meantime, hang in there. Sending a big hug.

[sugahorse1]

Thanks Fresia - I do a fair bit of CBT at the moment, and see my T once a week

[polyonamous]

a brit site...

www.mentalhealth-world.org.uk/forums

specialises in bpd, might be a place to ask for some answers!

[sunnygirl1uk]

well i have bpd and bipola and sometimes its really hard for me to know where one thing starts adn another thing finishes.

[lonegael]

I only started showing a nice, smothe bipolar sinus curve after I started being medicated. Until then I had a very jagged mood profile, being kind of labile enven when "normal" which looked very borderline. On medications, this started to smoothe out and became the nice, smooth up and down (more or less) pattern, because the dysphoric nonscense that kicked in at both extremes died off. Now that the anxiety is being handled, it's even smoother. Both BP and BPD have what I would call a lot of "static" from the effects of the disorders, the social and relational fallouts that can lead to problems sorting out what in the h/&% is causing what. And of course, one can have both. HUGGS

[lostyoungling]

I can sympathize for sure. I've been in treatment for 9 years as a bipolar with additional dx (amongst them being borderline) but this week my new tdoc told me that was ridiculous. That my main dx was borderline and that my bipolar was really the least pressing of my issues. I'm kind of in shock. I've had the borderline dx as well since the beginning but I've never talked about it in therapy. It's always been all about my bipolar. I feel like the rugs been pulled out from under my feet lol Especially because everyone knows borderline people are just bad people

[Travelinglady]

I started out with a BPD diagnosis and got really serious about treatment--years of therapy, medication, and two whole rounds of DBT. My current p-doc and the last several therapists I have had have said they no longer see that in me.

Then I later got the BP diagnosis, and I guess I always will have that. I am now working through a workbook on DBT for bipolars with my therapist, and the book says that some clinicians think the two diagnoses are on a continuum, that is, they are the same thing, but just a matter of degree.....However, I'm not convinced of that. But what is definitely true is that the two Dx's have many of the same symptoms in common. DBT was originally designed for BPD, but is now used for BP and some other disorders.

Yes, I'm afraid that there is more stigma to BPD than to BP, but, that said, it CAN be treated and some folks are now daring to say "cured." The key, I think, is staying in therapy and working with the p-docs. It isn't a fatal, horrible thing, albeit upsetting to hear as a diagnosis. I was considered to be a high-functioning BPD. I suspect you are, too, from what you said. You're still our "suga," regardless!

[sugahorse1]

Thanks for all your supportive comments. I guess I'll just roll with the punches and treat whatever symptoms crop up, as opposed to being strictly hell-bent on a dx.
I tend to have a lot more anxiety nowadays, can get very emotional, and go from peak to trough in a matter of hours (Or the other way round too)
I'm sleeping a lot less at the moment (Partially because I have such hectic days and there just isn't much time to sleep, and partially because I am waking up earlier)
I am being a bit more spontaneous than I used to be too.

Arg, I must just carry on and look forwards; just get better and more stable.

[kitty004567]

Here's my theory: all disorders run on a continuum, with everyone falling somewhere on the continuum for each disorder. As long as you're functional or have found a treatment that works why worry about the correct diagnosis? If something's working why change it? That being said I also understand the importance of the right diagnosis.

For instance, before I was diagnosed I thought I might have schizophrenia as well as bipolar disorder. The drug combination that worked for me? Zanex, gabapenten, and seroquil. I'm relative stable. Seroquil is a first like drug for schizophrenia and an atypical drug for treating bipolar disorder but it works. I'm not pushing for a diagnosis of schizophrenia because really, do I need another label? What I have is working...that's what's important to me.

[sugahorse1]

Thanks - I am seeing my pdoc on 1 December, and I know my meds need to be adjusted

[sunnygirl1uk]

Originally Posted by lostyoungling

I can sympathize for sure. I've been in treatment for 9 years as a bipolar with additional dx (amongst them being borderline) but this week my new tdoc told me that was ridiculous. That my main dx was borderline and that my bipolar was really the least pressing of my issues. I'm kind of in shock. I've had the borderline dx as well since the beginning but I've never talked about it in therapy. It's always been all about my bipolar. I feel like the rugs been pulled out from under my feet lol Especially because everyone knows borderline people are just bad people

its really hard to get to grips of especially if you (like me) have two different types of diganoses, and its hard to know which one to work on first and foremost.... Hugs, being borderline or my dignosis of emmotionally unstable personality disorder, its not that bad and i dont regard myself as a bad person at all, and thats also what you have to consider that your not a bad person at all....