dont know but may have triggers

I wasn't caring much today. Then felt like not existing. Think it would be wonderful if I would turn into vapor and float off. So little stress yet it feels so so heavy. I see thinkgs need to be done everywhere. I can't seem to get it to end. I ask for help but it doesn't work. They just aren't old enough to understand why its so important to have homework done toys picked up and put in place. That I need to be able to come home and not feel overwhelmed the minute I get there. The world is turning grey. Not just from nature but from my mind as well. It hurts. Physically in my brain it hurts. Not like a headache. But it is still painful. I want to close my eyes and never wake stay in the darkforever. I don't know. I really just don't know

Sorry its all I've got in me right now. Not much of anything I guess. I am tired though. Very very tired

I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I don't know what to say but didn't want you to feel alone.

Yes, bridgie, those things are important. The "they" who aren't old enough to understand...they are way more important. The world will not end if every chore doesn't get done. You are strong, even if you don't feel it right now. Call your doctor, call someone in your support system, find your center of peace, your center of strength.

I woke today with the same drab feeling. Get up and automatically feel overwhelmed by my home. I have no energy to do anything. I have to force myself to go to work thinking a cpl more days till a cpl days off. Then I can readjust my problem spots. its so hard when you see these things needing to be done and you want to run away and hide away from it all. Seeing it hurts. I feel so stressed. I am anxious and can't go see others tried to have someone come help me. Always busy when need most. Someday. Maybe someday there will be someone I can truly count on. I don't know I just don't know anymore. Just want to disappear. Screaming in my head. I don't knwow if anyone else gets the pain but it really does hurt.

bridgie do you have a pdoc for your depression? do you take meds? if so, then an adjustment to the doseage might help you.

(((hugs, bridgie)))

I had my pdoc appt last fri. We did readjust. I even didn't have any opinion as to what to do like I normally do. I know give adjustment time. I do go back in cpl weeks. I feel like I could stare off into space forever if I could. I don't want to go home today I know what I will feel like. Its making me very sad right now.