[Tsunamisurfer]

Do you ever feel like your body is not your own, and every move you need to make has to be consciously instructed via some computer running windoze - and the feedback you get from your body is numb, delayed, or not there?

I hate being fat, and that is what I have become. I have put on 5kg in the last 5 months. I exercise and all I feel is tired afterwards. No energised reward. Just more indifferent lethargy. My normal buzzingly active body is gone.

I'm on Valproate (Epilim), Amisulpride (Solian) and Gabapentin (Neurontin).

I'm dizzy, drowsy, and snap easily at people. I'm intensely frustrated with myself!

[sugahorse1]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Have you discussed this with your pdoc? I was on Epilim and didn't find it very effective for me. I was on an anti-dep at one stage called Edronax, and it definitely helped with the energy levels.
I'm now on Lamictin as a mood stabiliser and find I'm losing weight (I cannot say for definite that it is because of the Lamictin)

It is terrible to feel like your body is no longer your own, but please understand you don't need to live like this. You just need the right meds prescribed.

[Skully]

I would speak with your pdoc. Sounds like you are in zombieland that could be caused by the medications. There are meds out there that will not cause weight gain that may work and not make you a zombie in some cheesy D rated movie!

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by Skully

... a zombie in some cheesy D rated movie!

ROTFLMAO (well, in thought, if not in deed since my body doesn't obey my mind at the moment ).

Thanks guys. I have made an appointment. Guess what! - 13 December is a long way off. So I left a message that "I am systematically taking myself of my meds - please call back to discuss options?". Lets see if I get some pdoc opinion before I chop the gabapentin out dose by dose.

[Trippin2.0]

Hey TS
I agree, you don't need to be zombified, looks like we're having a zombie apocalypse here at PC, we need to kick some serious pdoc arse...

Hope your meds get tweaked soon, my combo doesn't zombify me or cause weight problems, I'm on Tegratol (Carbamazapine), Risperdone (Atypical Anti-Psychotic), and Lorien (Fluoxetine).
I did however feel zombified on a higher dose of the Tegratol...

hope you feel better soon!

[sugahorse1]

I've tried to threaten my pdoc with a message of "I'm stopping my meds" but even that doesn't get a reply out of her.
One more week to go to my App - yay!
Btw - 13 December is my bday; so I have a feeling you're going to have a really good app!

[lonegael]

Good luck with the meds. I have had that trouble before. It is often hard to get a rise out of Pdocs, as some of them seem to think that if we have a problem with the meds, it's all because of the disorder, not the meds. Good luck getting through! HUGGS

[Tsunamisurfer]

Thanks guys. pdoc or none, I'm not sticking around on this awful regimen. If I have weaned myself off everything before he gets to see me, so be it.

[Skully]

In my opinion, the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Call every hour, on the hour, and you will get a return call! Trust me, it works lol.

[sugahorse1]

yup - harrass him (Gee, I'm a fine one to talk)

[PT52]

I agree - drown them in voice mails..you'll get results.

[Tsunamisurfer]

LOL. Thanks for all your support, guys.
My pdoc is a special guy. He called back at the end of his schedules today and reluctantly agreed to let me reduce the Neurontin to a lower dose until I get to see him in person in 3 weeks. He was mostly concerned that I should be stable before reducing my stabilisers, and .... well... I'm still cycling at the moment, so he wasn't too happy with the move, but agrees that blobbing isn't healthy either.
Actually I have had one Yeeeeeehaaaaaah! day today. No wonder he was a bit worried LOL.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Hey, since I'm on a roll, let me tell you about a call I got from another doctor today. I was sooooo impressed:
Yesterday I called Divers Alert Network (DAN) to check what the issues were regarding the use of Lithium in scuba diving. I got put in touch with a doctor who fielded my call. She was so helpful, she spent 5 minutes discussing my background and what she could see were the implications of Lithium for diving - all over the phone!
Today she phones me back again, having conferred with a psychiatrist who also happens to be clued up in hyperbaric medicine and diving, and proceeded to spend another 5 minutes telephonically discussing the implications of diving with bipolar disorder, and the pros and cons of lithium and valproate for diving. I was so blown away by her unusual care and offer of support. I called DAN up today to tell them how amazed I was at how much trouble she had gone through to help me.

So I can happily say that not all doctors are glued to their pay cheques in a way that makes you feel like the meat in a sausage machine.

[sugahorse1]

Glad things are working out for you.
I was thinking about your initial post and came up with a few analogies of my own.

I feel like sometimes my body is inhabited by a demon. The "person" you experience is NOT me. I am purely a vessel with no emotions or control; I just go along for the ride that my demon chooses to take.
I have no soul, no purpose, no reason. I am actually not alive - I am an empty shell

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by sugahorse

I have no soul, no purpose, no reason. I am actually not alive - I am an empty shell

Oh Sh**! That's not a pretty outlook!

[sugahorse1]

It'll pass - eventually

[Tsunamisurfer]

I'm definitely inhabiting my own body now. Gym was good today, and hopefully tomorrow will be even better