[hentaywee]

Had a great day at work and class (group). I was in a cheery mood. Now I want to bawl. My son lives with the ex (hoping that changes soon). Just got off the phone with my lil guy since we talk to each other about every night. The hard part is saying "i love you" and "goodnight". It totally bursts any good bubbles I had, and I could curl up in bed and cry all night. He is so sad each time I talk to him, and he's already told me he'd rather "live with mom". Wish I could go back in time and change things

[BlackPup]

hope he comes home soon....

[kitty004567]

(((hentaywee))) I've had those phone calls (from my ex-bf's daughter with another woman - I was her "parent" of choice, go figure). I'm so sorry, I know how they tug on your heart-strings.

[hentaywee]

Originally Posted by BlackPup

hope he comes home soon....

Thanks BlackPup. Right now it's a waiting game. My current roommate/landlord is not fond of kids. But it's the only place I can afford with my job, unless my disability gets approved. So unless she is out of town, I pick up my son and spend the weekend with him at my parents (which doesn't allow much quality time together ). I'm constantly praying lately that the disability will start soon so I can move to a place I'm comfortable in and can have my son stay with me.

[kdclement]

Know that people out here care...being a Mom myself and losing contact with my daughter I know it's hard. If you need to talk. I'm here, ping me anytime dear
take care

[hentaywee]

Originally Posted by kdclement

Know that people out here care...being a Mom myself and losing contact with my daughter I know it's hard. If you need to talk. I'm here, ping me anytime dear
take care

I'm not familiar with the term "ping" But I do appreciate that there are others here on PC who understand and are willing to talk. I got off the phone with my son afew hours ago. He called while he was watching one of him favorite shows, so he was glued to the tv. Since he wasn't able to talk and watch tv, I told him he could call me back and that I wasn't mad. (Didn't let on about being sad ). A raging migraine all afternoon just seemed to get alot worse after that. Just woke up after close to 3 hours curled up in the dark sleeping. Still have the dang nausea that accompanies the migraines

[sugahorse1]

I'm so sorry. I cannot imagine the pain of being apart from your child. Hoping this can change for you really soon. Keep checking in with us and we'll do our best to support you in the interim

[hentaywee]

Today wasn't the best. Not terrible either. I'm starting to think the Depo shot I had on Tuesday sent me on an emotional rollarcoaster. Heard that it could do that My neurologist decided today to slowly start lowering the dose on one of my anticonvulsants (Keppra). Hoping it helps ease some of the side effects, just don't want a relapse.

Haven't talked to my son yet tonight. As much as I want to, I think it might help to recoup for a day or two til I get back on my feet. But just saying that makes me feel so guilty and think I'm not meant to be a mother

[Eloise42]

Depo provera is three months of hormones shot into your body at once. I don't care if it is supposed to slowly release I think it's highly likely to mess with you.

Nothing you've written indicates that you aren't meant to be a parent. Your child knows that they are loved and wanted, not enough children know that they are loved and wanted.

Even very small children are incredibly sensitive to their parent's mental status and your kid is okay being on the phone with you while watching TV. Which means the kid is NOT stressing out about how YOU are doing which is a pretty good indication that your kid is okay and you are not, in fact, a bad parent.

[hentaywee]

I was hoping that it was the depo shot, but don't think I'm that lucky. Seem to have hit a low lately. Doesn't seem to be lifting any either And after alot of triggers today, I'm glad I have photos of my son up in my room. It's impossible to think of trying anything stupid when I see his face and know what it would to him. Time to cuddle up with a blanket & watch tv

[sugahorse1]

Take it easy on yourself and if you want to cuddle up with a blanket infront of the TV - go for it.
I'm glad you were able to hang up some pictures of your son!

[laur88]

Best of luck with this difficult and emotional situation! My thoughts go out to you

[hentaywee]

Originally Posted by sugahorse

Take it easy on yourself and if you want to cuddle up with a blanket infront of the TV - go for it.
I'm glad you were able to hang up some pictures of your son!

The pictures and just being curled up in a blanket holding a giant teddy bear helped a lil. My internet service keeps stopping and starting when it wants so can't get on PC when I need to.

Right now I'm debating which place to take my son to for photographs. I'm wanting to get newer ones. And we always get one taken together. They're what keep me going. So think I better do it soon. Time to get help doing makeup again

[hentaywee]

I wish winter was over!! My son and I had plans for this weekend together. My ex called this morning from my son's doctor and told me he's got upper resp inf. I've been fighting the same crap for over two weeks. Knew better than for both of us to spend the weekend at my parents' place since my mother smokes indoors, and it would just make us feel worse.

So I did go get him, spent a few hours together and then took him back home to get some rest. Really hoping that we both feel better tomorrow so we can spend the day together. If he's not, its gonna suck. Already said I'd be gone and wouldn't be going to movie night at a friend's. A night with a redbox rental may be in store.