[SunReach]

Counsellor suggested I speed up my appointment with pdoc. Not possible.
Last night I came back from a sports evening and I was so restless I took my bike out at midnight. Then because of the amount of the images I had where I miraculously crash somewhere after cycling on some edge or just straight into sth for the sake of it, I left my bike and got on foot. I climbed trees in a park. Came back around 3.30. Woke up at half 7. Went to a lecture at 9. Snapped at everyone for not having read the material properly and refused to fill them in, which I never do - I'm nice to people... Went for another ride. Then a friend convinced me to get some strong valerian. I finally took it so that I could sit still and I feel horrible. I also realised that what burns in the oatcakes someone else gave me is not ginger but black pepper. I'm mildy allergic to black pepper. So now I am also going to make myself sick. Oh, and my flatmate is abroad.

[MissMay1977]

It sounds like you could be having some hypo mania going on. Maybe you should consult your doctor. Good luck.

[sugahorse1]

yes, please phone your pdoc. It sounds like you are slowly losing control. There definitely doesnt seem to be any routine, and you will burn yourself out.
Your meds need to be adjusted-please dont hesitate; call your pdoc

[Kymaro]

Surely call your pdoc, if still cant get in, try to keep a routine. Keep up the positive activities to burn that energy. Just make sure your properly getting sleep even if it requires some sleep aid.

[wing]

I agree with the above: 1. Call for an appt ASAP, maybe they can move it up. 2. Get enough sleep! 3. Try to settle down in between activities and 4. Make sure you're eating...but no pepper!

[mgran]

I've not seen you on for a few days... are you okay?

[SunReach]

Hey everyone, thank you so much for your concern. My pdoc is away until next week. I agree that there was definitely hypomania taking over but then during the weekend I could not move. I felt exhausted to crashing point although my brain was restless. Sat at the sofa for about 35 hours getting up only for food and toilet. Even shower was out of the question. I felt like a robot that had not been programmed to do anything and didn't have batteries either. That weird sleep paralysis and the strange sort of hallucinatory dreams didn't help. Late Sunday and Monday I was getting paranoid that somehow I have made everything up and I don't deserve any help, that I just think too much, that I don't try hard enough etc etc and that it's my reactions that are faulty, not brain chemistry. But I got talked out of this paranoia, at least on a 'what I believe regardless of what I feel' level, and I managed to relaxed a bit and on Monday night I finally had 7 hours sleep. Now I feel ok, but on the edge. So I don't know what's all that, mixed? Rapid cycling? Unidentified? Or am I actually emotionally mad?

My mum is visiting next week and the advice I got from the only therapist I could reach was to take things easy, try not to think or explain any of what's happening, just keep myself as calm as possible away from triggers until I can see a pdoc. And if things get worse see a GP to get a proper sedative or something...So I have been away from PC because I'm trying not think about how I feel...

[mgran]

Glad you're a bit better, Sadrobot... the sleep must have helped. Hope this is the start of your getting back to normal. Thanks for letting us know.