Sick of em!

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 06:39 PM

I am so sick and tired of paying for pills and having to take them twice a day. I used to have issues but I am perfecftly fine now. Its because I dealt with my issues and can cope now. We all have our days btut I dont si or feel like theres no hope anymore and its because of my personal faith (which I wont get into.)

I dont wanna take them anymore. I dont need them. I think my mind was on overload when I was suicidal and was dx'd bipolar. Maybe I put too much into what I was feeling. Im not bipolar!!

Moose72 · Mar 13, 2011, 07:06 PM

When were you diagnosed? When did you start meds?

Mac Murphy · Mar 13, 2011, 07:09 PM

HallieBeth, I know how you feel. I was pretty upset about my dx at first but I have learned that it is indeed part of who I am. You have probably heard all kinds of advice from people so this may just be a repeat of it, but I hope you can spend some quality time with your pdoc and get a truly accurate dx and get the treatment you need.

Peace,
Mac

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

When were you diagnosed? When did you start meds?

ummm been treated for depression since 2004 off and on. officially dx'd with my 3 dxs in 2008.

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kdd240z

HallieBeth, I know how you feel. I was pretty upset about my dx at first but I have learned that it is indeed part of who I am. You have probably heard all kinds of advice from people so this may just be a repeat of it, but I hope you can spend some quality time with your pdoc and get a truly accurate dx and get the treatment you need.

Peace,
Mac

ive had the dx for years now but im not like i used to be at all. i dont need them. i am fine. i admit i need help for anxiety because i have always struggled with that but im not depressed anymore and i dont si!

Moose72 · Mar 13, 2011, 07:23 PM

In 3 years have you fou d a med that works for your bipolar? I understand being frustrated with meds.

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

In 3 years have you fou d a med that works for your bipolar? I understand being frustrated with meds.

i took soooooo many different meds for like 4 yrs and only gained weight. was in a hospital twice when i started the meds i take now. been on em for 3 yrs now

Mar 13, 2011, 07:53 PM

If you've been on meds for 3 years and feel better, do you think maybe the meds might be helping you to feel less depressed and not SI?

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jadedmoonbeam

If you've been on meds for 3 years and feel better, do you think maybe the meds might be helping you to feel less depressed and not SI?

I think I took them and I am better. I dont need them now. Im fine.

Confusedinomicon · Mar 13, 2011, 08:05 PM

I would recommend you stay on them.
I went off of mine every time I felt better since I've been diagnosed (I was under the delusion I wasn't bipolar though.) and would fall back into the mood swings. I learned the hard way (running up a lot of bills for emergency visits) that I needed to actually take my medicine.

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

I would recommend you stay on them.
I went off of mine every time I felt better since I've been diagnosed (I was under the delusion I wasn't bipolar though.) and would fall back into the mood swings. I learned the hard way (running up a lot of bills for emergency visits) that I needed to actually take my medicine.

Thats what I am saying! Im not bipolar. I think she was wrong. I am fine!

Mar 13, 2011, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

I think I took them and I am better. I dont need them now. Im fine.

Unfortunately the meds aren't like antibiotics where you take them and you get better and don't need them anymore.

BP/Depression, most mental illnesses are chronic conditions that need to be treated for the lifetime. It's like needing insulin or oxygen or blood pressure medicine.

obviously I can't tell you what to do, but the few times I stopped taking my meds I got very sick and ended back up worse than before...i need to take the big handful of pills every night and every morning in order to live my functioning life. It's a rough lesson buy you may need to learn it the hard way.

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jadedmoonbeam

Unfortunately the meds aren't like antibiotics where you take them and you get better and don't need them anymore.

BP/Depression, most mental illnesses are chronic conditions that need to be treated for the lifetime. It's like needing insulin or oxygen or blood pressure medicine.

obviously I can't tell you what to do, but the few times I stopped taking my meds I got very sick and ended back up worse than before...i need to take the big handful of pills every night and every morning in order to live my functioning life. It's a rough lesson buy you may need to learn it the hard way.

but im not bipolar!

Confusedinomicon · Mar 13, 2011, 08:16 PM

Yeah, but I was wrong, Hallie. The pdocs were right when I was dx'd bipolar. I still struggle with the thought that I really am, but I'm staying on my medication for a change because I like having that extra tool to keep me safe and those around me safe.

If you really want to go off, make sure you talk to your pdoc about lowering the dose and see how you cope. If you and the pdoc are not seeing any symptoms/signs I'm sure they could help wean you off of them. This way is probably the safest if you're determined to stop taking the medication.

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

Yeah, but I was wrong, Hallie. The pdocs were right when I was dx'd bipolar. I still struggle with the thought that I really am, but I'm staying on my medication for a change because I like having that extra tool to keep me safe and those around me safe.

If you really want to go off, make sure you talk to your pdoc about lowering the dose and see how you cope. If you and the pdoc are not seeing any symptoms/signs I'm sure they could help wean you off of them. This way is probably the safest if you're determined to stop taking the medication.

thats why i am upset.

I know she wont let me

Confusedinomicon · Mar 13, 2011, 09:14 PM

Have you talked to her?

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 09:19 PM

no. i am afraid to

Confusedinomicon · Mar 13, 2011, 09:30 PM

I don't think you should assume what the doctor will say until you talk to her. If you're having doubts about your dx then maybe you can talk to her about that too. If you cold turkey your meds, I guarantee you will more than likely get sick.

jadedmoonbeam is right, though. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way.

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

I don't think you should assume what the doctor will say until you talk to her. If you're having doubts about your dx then maybe you can talk to her about that too. If you cold turkey your meds, I guarantee you will more than likely get sick.

jadedmoonbeam is right, though. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way.

at the same time, i am afraid to. before i took the meds......i was suicidal, doing si, quit my job, etc. im just now caught up.

idk. im all confused. i dont want a label and i have 3.
seriously this dx is long: bipolar type, rapid cycling with mixed features. generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. seriously??

Moose72 · Mar 13, 2011, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

but im not bipolar!

that's the bipolar talking!

It's part of the disease. So many of us feel better, go off our meds, and land in the ER or just plain manic as hell, risking stds, spending all our money, or even hallucinating.

Every time you have an episode, it is worse than the time before. They call this "kindling". A manic episode might not be fun. It might be mood dysregulation where you start sobbing fir no reason. Or, you might start sending nonsense to your friends or saying really nonsensical things which you think are just fine. Or, you might go psychotic and hear voices or see other hallucinations- some of which might be really scary.

Please- take your meds. Even on meds, I've had breakthrough psychosis. You have to accept your diagnosis and move on from there.

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

that's the bipolar talking!

It's part of the disease. So many of us feel better, go off our mess, and land in the ER or just plain manic as he'll, risking stds, spending all our money, or even hallucinating.

Every time you have an episode, it is worse than the time before. They call this "kindling". A manic episode might not be fun. It might be mood dysregulation where you start sobbing fir no reason. Or, you might start sending nonsense to your friends or saying really nonsensical things which you think are just fine. Or, you might go psychotic and hear voices or see other hallucinations- some of which might be really scary.

Please- take your meds. Even on meds, I've had breakthrough psychosis. You have to accept your diagnosis and move on from there.

i never really had a manic episode but before i quit my job last time i was messed up i just remember being happy but crying and feeling like crap all at the same time. i couldnt control crying and being anxious but i wasnt really depressed but i couldnt handle being there so i walked out.

idk wanna feel like that again i guess. bah!

i dont wanna me in a hospital again. it sucks. im terrified. i cant handle not being in control.

Moose72 · Mar 13, 2011, 09:58 PM

I've felt all mixed like that and also with Emotions not matching how I think I am thinking. Just crying out of nowhere.

So why won't you take your meds?

HALLIEBETH87 · Mar 13, 2011, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

I've felt all mixed like that and also with Emotions not matching how I think I am thinking. Just crying out of nowhere.

So why won't you take your meds?

im taking them. i just dont want to.

venusss · Mar 14, 2011, 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

that's the bipolar talking!

It's part of the disease. So many of us feel better, go off our meds, and land in the ER or just plain manic as hell, risking stds, spending all our money, or even hallucinating.

Every time you have an episode, it is worse than the time before. They call this "kindling". A manic episode might not be fun. It might be mood dysregulation where you start sobbing fir no reason. Or, you might start sending nonsense to your friends or saying really nonsensical things which you think are just fine. Or, you might go psychotic and hear voices or see other hallucinations- some of which might be really scary.

Please- take your meds. Even on meds, I've had breakthrough psychosis. You have to accept your diagnosis and move on from there.

Meh, not to say give the OP any ideas (please don't do anything alone)... many people have been misdiagnosed... and since each time when doubts their diagnosis it's "your diagnosis talking"... one could spend whole life treating the wrong disease...

so if the OP has any doubts, they should talk to their doctor and get second option if needed. WHY do you feel the Dx has been incorrect? What lead to the diagnosis? Try to talk to profesionals... here on board we cannot help you. However, if you have doubt... tell them. Blind trust in theme is just as bad as mistrust.

Moose72 · Mar 14, 2011, 11:06 AM

It's not true for every diagnosis but it sure is for bipolar. How do you know the difference? I guess that's the benefit of having the same pdoc that you trust for several years. Bipolar is a difficult diagnosis to comprehend, nevermind admit that you have.

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