 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Apr 28, 2011, 06:31 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Just wondering... Since about November '10 I've been pretty stable. A few weeks ago, I felt the start of depression, which made me more numb than anything. Now I get so emotional, angry and frustrated. Yesterday my bf said - the bipolar is getting the better of you; I don't recognise you anymore. You are mad. If you carry on like that, I will make you pack your bags and leave (we've been together the last 3 years, and 2 years before that)
What is going on? I start having self-esteem issues, start questioning my life's purpose, wondering who loves me... Delusions? Even mentioned to my BF that if this is my life, I want no part of it. Running to my room to try find myself again... What is going on? Some days I get so absorbed in my day, that this doesn't happen; I am too busy to have feelings. My sleep pattern has been a bit out of whack due to holidays, but getting it back on track. I've actually done a lot of sleeping and in the evenings feel a lot more energised |
|
#2
Apr 28, 2011, 06:54 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I've not been stable for months. I was stable for about 6 months prior to that. I had a manic episode in February and am still filled with depression and anxiety.
|
|
#3
Apr 28, 2011, 06:57 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Well, it's been about 6 months for me. But I don't know what kind of episode my current one is. Nowhere near the depression I used to have. And I've never had mania either; only hypomania at times
|
|
#4
Apr 28, 2011, 11:49 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I've been stable for 9 months now and of course praying it stays that way as long as possible. When I am in a downturn, my self-esteem is low like yours. Through my journey with my recent counselor she has identified that I am a highly sensitive person which means I have stronger reactions and emotions to life events. She says it is not related to my BP Disorder and that many people are HSPs.
|
|
#5
Apr 28, 2011, 01:52 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Ow, Suga. I hope you and your bf manage to build enough strength to stand together and weather the storms as a team when they come. (((((HUG)))))
10 months since I thought I knew the meaning of sort of stable. SSRI set off mixed episode then rapid cycling. Weekly cycles now. Pete |
|
#6
Apr 28, 2011, 04:35 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I would say I am stable and have been since August. I still react to environmental triggers though.
__________________
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
|
#7
Apr 28, 2011, 11:28 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I have been stable for about 6 months now. Sometimes I wonder though
__________________
Lauru-------------That's me, Bipolar and Watching TV   I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. ---Robert Frost |
|
#8
Apr 29, 2011, 02:08 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I am hyper-sensitive. I guess I have an above average IQ, which works to my detriment. I always search for a deeper meaning. And naturally every statement made can have something I can read between the lines. So I am more emotional.
When I consider myself stable, I guess I mean I can integrate with society a lot better and my depression is at bay. Not sleeping as much, not think of sui (hardly anyway). But I've become very angry, aggitated, needy... Lately |
|
#9
Apr 29, 2011, 03:21 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I think I have a name for it; I'm feeling overwhelmed and cornered - therefore lash out. Hate it. Just nearly burst into tears again.
I just want to be left alone!!! |
|
#10
Apr 29, 2011, 05:25 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Since starting meds, I can only stay 2 weeks if that stable. Other than that a couple of days before I start feeling "blah".
|
|
#11
Apr 29, 2011, 05:49 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
8 m0nths n0w... Had a bit of a wobble the other day but that was bpd related...
|
|
#12
Apr 29, 2011, 05:52 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Gee... Now to discern between BP and BPD..?!
If my meds are tripping up on me, I won't be impressed |
|
#13
Apr 29, 2011, 04:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
only one bad episode in 21 years BUT suga the issues and behaviors i discussed in therapy i think has made the difference. my triggers could set off depression, anxiety or hypomania...neither of these i enjoy. know i'm not cured but for me it is a good set of meds and therapy. took a little while to find the med combination but well worth it.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
|
#14
Apr 29, 2011, 04:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I would like to think I'm stable, but I know I'm not. Recent issues are making things hard to deal with.
__________________
 |
|
#15
May 01, 2011, 04:33 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Still not good at discovering hypomanias, but I do not think my stable periods are very long. Lamictal has stunted the depressions, but my mood tends to fluctuate, like ripples, much of the time.
Life-ong experience with coping mekes it easily bearable 
|
|
#16
May 01, 2011, 09:49 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hugs, suga, I do relate to the struggle! I hope your BF can find and have for you the patience and compassion you need for him to have....
Sometimes I can't always tell when it is the BP1 or the BPD, but I know sometimes in depression it is quite a bit of both, both chemical and just my old coping mechanisms/cognitive/emotional patterns...... I don't feel stable right now, but T says I am actually, since I am not suicidal and have better coping skills which I can actually use! But I can't say that I have been stable truly for any length of time in the last 10-15 years; I have thought there were periods of relative normality but looking back I and others see I wasn't as stable as I was thinking then either....so I don't know how long I stay stable, but hope to learn and be able to be stable truly for a long period of time! |
|
#17
May 03, 2011, 05:39 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Thanks guys. It's very interesting to read how others interpret their moods and experiences.
I think I'm OK Think I can stop therapy |
|
#18
May 04, 2011, 06:09 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Wow,that's huge! So proud of you hun!
|
|
#19
May 05, 2011, 12:18 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
I've been stable for 10 days - then I hit a big destabilising pothole at a music therapy session at the psych hospital. Hope to be ironed out again soon. Seeing my pdoc in 15 mins. |
|
#20
May 05, 2011, 03:05 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
The last time that I had extremes of mood was in 2007. Since then I have had some PTSD symptoms but even that is getting better. For a very long time neither my doctor nor I thought I could heal this well. For me selegiline and clozapine are working well for the bipolar.
__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
|
#21
May 05, 2011, 03:38 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It depends what you call stable. If stable means no big moodswings, intrusive and utterly absurd thoughts, the feel to need to be somewhere else, be doing something else... unrest and feeling it's send sparks if I touched metal? I go without these for few days, and that is IT. I get ups and highs... I cycle quite fast. So much fun... NOT.
if stable means being able to function and not sitting on window panes wanting to take a dive or not sleeping for 36+ hours period... that it's almost a year now. so honestly... I do not know. I am better off now than I have been in years though.
__________________
Glory to heroes!
HATEFREE CULTURE |
|
#22
May 05, 2011, 07:43 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I was stable for about 3 months this summer; it felt so foreign to me that I convinced myself the whole BP thing was a farce. I had some big life changes in September and haven't had a day of stability since. Sigh.
|
|
#23
May 05, 2011, 08:57 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
IDoubt- funny you should mention it; is also kind of feel like the whole thing doesn't exist. You overlook these things when you are stable.
I'm fine without therapy until I hit a wobbly. Worried I will crash. But maybe I wont |
|
#24
May 05, 2011, 09:09 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Two months is about as far as I've gone in the past year, but I come out of the episodes faster, so that's good I guess.
It's frustrating to know I am doing what I can, but the mood swings still come sometimes.
__________________
|
|
#25
May 05, 2011, 10:03 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Satable??? What is this word and how do I get it into my vocabulary???
__________________
Psoriatic Arthritis, Borderline Personality Disorder, and about a 100 other things. 
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
