On a seesaw and can't get off

I feel like I'm on a seesaw and can't get off...like some older kid is pushing it up and down, faster and faster and won't stop. (I thought that this was more clever than the rollercoaster metaphor).

There are some days that I want to ignore the world, curl up in a ball and cry. One day last week, I was just sitting in my room, listening to music, and I started crying, for no reason! Other days, I get a lot done and I'm feeling pretty good. Of course, I can switch at any given point in the day as well, so I never know what's coming.

Over the weekend, my ups and downs seemed never ending. At one point I would be uber talkative and laughing, at another, irritable as all get out, and then later, tired, no energy or motivation to do anything.

Oh, and not only this, but my anxiety has been high as well...

It's driving me crazy!

I've been thinking about calling my pdoc and asking for a med raise since aren't meds supposed to stop you from being all over the place(?)...but I don't know what I should say, and I have phone anxiety so that's a big problem etc.

I'm going home on Friday, and I made an appointment with my psychologist at home for next Tuesday...so I am trying to do what I can to help.

It's just a) annoying and b) not good because in 5 weeks, I'm going to work at a summer camp that I've never been to, don't know anyone at, and is in the middle of nowhere, about 4 hours from home...and I can't be like this when I'm there. I just can't.

seesaw!

couple of thoughts...meds in theory are supposed to help with slowing the cycle of up and down and how high and how low...so it is good that you are going to talk with your p-doc. In preparation you may want to take an inventory of what things have been going on in your life...write down things like sleeping erratically, eating lots of sugar, how things are going with a significant other, etc...this way when you do talk to your p-doc you'll have something down and don't have to worry about remembering/forgeting some important stuff.

As part of our recovery, I believe that meds can only take us so far...so figuring out what has been going on lately will help to see if it is constributing to some symptoms. Once you spot some symptoms then maybe some action plans can be developed to minimize the symptoms. This has helped me a lot

I made an appointment for tomorrow. Shockingly they had something.

I hope your app can help you. It does take a while until you find the med combo that works for you, and even then you may find that after a while they are no longer as effective.
You've done the right thing reaching out while you can. I hope you feel better again soon

My pdoc raised my Lamictal to 100mg, and said that if I feel like I need to, I can increase to 150mg (and 200mg if 150mg isn't enough), I just have to call the office to get a new prescription.

Also, next Tuesday, I'm going to see my psychologist, like I said in my OP...

I just really hope that I get this all worked out before I have to go to camp, because as I said, I absolutely cannot be like this when I'm there.