[sugahorse1]

Having a little bit of a tricky time at the moment. We've had a friend visit, so most nights there's been something on. And too much drinking. Not enough time for ME, nor sleep, nor my relationship and horse. We're heading towards winter, so it gets dark early, and I battle to ride after work.
Work is always high pressure, huge workloads, little if any praise, people being selfish and stepping on other's toes. Lost it yesterday with a colleague and had a real rant at her. Was surprised how many things I managed to string together and how many emotions, feelings and gripes I actually had.
But it got me down. Feeling really down, and not sure if it's depression or what.

I have been lurking in the wings and posting where I can.
I haven't stopped T altogether yet, but wound down to every 2 weeks. And I think my T understands I'm nervous to stop T. There are a lot of uncertainties I have as a person, and we're working on that.

My meds have been doing a great job - so I must say I am fortunate.
Trying to get my bf to understand bipolar and its impact on me - which is not easy.

But on the whole, the last few months have been fairly stable; just a little difficult at the moment. I know you'll understand.

I'm frustrated at myself @ work as I CANNOT get through the work load. I upset others as I'm "letting them down". But I'm doing my best. My T thinks I may be a bit of a perfectionist and be too hard on myself.

Sorry about the jumble... That's where my head is at.
So, that was a small update and a rant...

[Direction]

Originally Posted by sugahorse

Having a little bit of a tricky time at the moment. We've had a friend visit, so most nights there's been something on. And too much drinking. Not enough time for ME, nor sleep, nor my relationship and horse.

Is friends visit done? Routines that we've developed to keep us healthy that get interupted can sure throw a wrench in the system. I'm actually visiting family at the moment, so I'm trying to be mindful about my needs. Seeing your post reminds me to be watchful

Originally Posted by sugahorse

Having a little bit of a tricky time at the moment. We've had a friend visit, so most nights there's been something on. And too much drinking. Not enough time for ME, nor sleep, nor my relationship and horse. We're heading towards winter, so it gets dark early, and I battle to ride after work.

I don't know about you, but the change in seasons affects my mood - when there is less daylight, less sun, i don't feel as great as i do when there is.

Work is always high pressure, huge workloads, little if any praise, people being selfish and stepping on other's toes. Lost it yesterday with a colleague and had a real rant at her. Was surprised how many things I managed to string together and how many emotions, feelings and gripes I actually had.

Sometimes when we hold things in for too long, or are dealing with a lot of pressure, it gets held in for too long, and then we have a breaking point, which is sounds like you may hane jsut been pushed to. It sucks that it happened at work, but that's usually where all the pressure is...
But it got me down. Feeling really down, and not sure if it's depression or what.

I have been lurking in the wings and posting where I can.
I haven't stopped T altogether yet, but wound down to every 2 weeks. And I think my T understands I'm nervous to stop T. There are a lot of uncertainties I have as a person, and we're working on that.

My meds have been doing a great job - so I must say I am fortunate.
Trying to get my bf to understand bipolar and its impact on me - which is not easy.

But on the whole, the last few months have been fairly stable; just a little difficult at the moment. I know you'll understand.

I'm frustrated at myself @ work as I CANNOT get through the work load. I upset others as I'm "letting them down". But I'm doing my best. My T thinks I may be a bit of a perfectionist and be too hard on myself.

I am the exact same way...I always want to be the best, to do the best, it's very hard for me to not give 200% when i am at work....and if I don't, then I feel like someone will be disappointed (and my last boss acted exactly like that).

Do what you can...the company will not fall down without you.
Try not to make promises of work that you can't keep.
We call it underpromising and overdelivering.
Sorry about the jumble... That's where my head is at.
So, that was a small update and a rant...

Feel better!

[ladyjrnlist]

Remember to manage stress as much as you can. Maybe you can offload some of the work to other people? Try not to be too hard on yourself. Make sure you get your down time and time with your horse.

suga!!! Wish I could be there to give you a real life one...
I'm glad your meds have been working. Even when they are, stressors can really send us anyway (soooo understand that right now!). Work can be a biggie. When you say, "My T thinks I may be a bit of a perfectionist and be too hard on myself"? Check.

Rant, update whatever you want to call it, please do! You know that we care and love to hear from you however you are at the moment --doing well, badly or anywhere in between or a mix of all!

[sugahorse1]

Thanks guys.
I am a shocking 'manager' of others. So, even though I have an assistant, I hardly delegate.
I just need to dedicate a FULL day of concentration (a bit difficult with a possible dx of ADD/ADHD lurking over my head) and just wade through stuff. To get people off my back.
Weekend looks busy, but I need to pull up the hand brake. We are more fragile than 'normal' people, and cannot be upset if we cannot keep up with them.

I really enjoy our friend that's around at the moment; he just has too much energy for me, lol. He'll be around town for the next few months. He flies around the country and overseas all the time, he's a jockey.

The work issue is a contentious one. I run my department; if I don't, there's no one to pick up the pieces. So it's not a case of taking on too much work - I just need to get it done. And now, I'm going to try get through some bothersome, but small things. Also hoping to move divisions within my company.
Feeling a bit better today. Thanks
Hoping for a sunny, warm weekend. It's horrible to be stuck in an office all week with lovely weather, and getting the opposite on weekends.
Decided I need to go clothes shopping on the weekend and sleep. Now - to get that right and actually do it...to do something for ME and not feel guilty about it.
I spend a lot of time trying to please my bf, and I need to put my foot down (did a little last night :-))!
Because other than a bit of PC while at work, via my BB, there isn't much ME time. Finally relax on the couch at 8:30 PM.

But you guys are really helping me. And luckily my meds are doing as well as I can hope

[Trippin2.0]

Thinking of you hun! Please please look after yourself,you're imp0rtant! Mwah