[rainingstarfire]

I'm navigating new territory, and not sure how to proceed. The month of April was a particularly dark time. Stress accompanied a weird empty numbness that was somewhere between the lands of hypomania and depression. My thoughts became darker and grew from "everyone would be better without me screwing it all up" to an actual, viable suicide plan and increasingly dangerous self-injury. My therapist decided to intervene, and my plan was interrupted by my first ever stay in the hospital psych ward.

Now- out of the hospital and a couple weeks back into "real life", I'm trying to figure out how to exist. It's currently a day-by-day operation, attempting to keep up with a growing mound of stress that is snowballing from missing a week of life while being admitted. I was fully prepared to die, and now, with new medication and after loving support from my friends, that isn't an option. But everything isn't magically better, either. And day-at-a-time-just-merely-surviving isn't a fantastic long-term plan, either.

How do you return to enjoying and living life after you've already checked out? Is there any "going back" or are you forever changed? What happens next?

[Xeneon]

Just take everything with a step at a time. You'll figure how to check back in, it may be rough but its possible. Just give it some time and I'm gladed your out of the hosiptal. I'm wishing you the best of luck.

[sugahorse1]

The hospital is never a magic wand that heals everything. It usually does enough to keep us safe when we need it, adjust some meds and then send us back into life.
A T will help you re-adjust to life, and it may be necessary to increase the frequency of appointments initially.
Are you employed, or where does the mound of stress come from? If you're employed, have you disclosed your dx to your boss? Will they back off work for a while, or delegate to others?
If it's life in general, just take bite-size chunks. You've been through a lot and need to level out first, before you can be back to top-form.
It's normal to take a while to adjust

[noneedtoknow]

rainingstarfire
There is some good wisdom/exerience here. Yes, you will be able to enjoy life again. On a small level, you are changed as a result of your experience, but over time, you will come to see it diffrently than you do now. But that experience does not have to define you, it is just a part of your story.
Hang in there! Give time, time. I know that is hard to do. Keep close to those friends and to your ones here! This will get better. Nothing in life is stagnant. It by it's very nature is changing. Peace to you
noneedtoknow

[Direction]

Well...yes you are changed forever...in this case sounds like a good change...in the sense you are at a new starting point...asking some good questions

Let's call the place your at as White and your destination as Black. Realistically we are not going to wake up in the morning and be transformed to your destination.

Try this exercise...Change the word White into the word Black by switching only one letter at a time when you make a new word...

So here is one path...

White
Whine
Shine
Swine
Swing
Sling
Bling
Blink
Blank
Black

It is an exercise I use when I feel stuck...try it with other words...experiment...

This is simply an exercise to set the stage that changes can occur...when you can really embrace this...then you can see how to apply it to your road ahead...hope it gives you pause...then you can determine what happens next