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  #1  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 08:51 AM
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Warrioress Warrioress is offline
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I've got a strange feeling.

I don't know why I'm posting this thread. Maybe it's because there's still a tiny bit of doubt there.
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"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." ~Stephen King

Dx Bipolar II
Med-free for the time being

Last edited by FooZe; Jun 01, 2011 at 12:11 PM. Reason: administrative edit

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  #2  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 08:54 AM
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Miss Laura Miss Laura is offline
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Hey Warrior,

Please don't do this.... you need to talk I am here to listen

You have so much to give to life.... don't end it ok!!

Please talk I am here to listen

xx
  #3  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 08:54 AM
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BlackPup BlackPup is offline
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Please call someone who can help you or tell your parents how you feel or go to the emergency department.
Please get help.....
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I can do all things through him who gives me strength
  #4  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 08:56 AM
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lynn P. lynn P. is offline
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(((Warrioress))) - I don't want you to do this. Remember this has happened before and then it goes away?? Have you ever been hospitalized? You need immediate professional help. Please don't do this to yourself or your family. I see you live in Iran - what time is it there? Talk it out here rather than doing something irreversible.
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This is our little cutie Bella

*Practice on-line safety.
*Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts.
*Make your mess, your message.
*"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi)

  #5  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 09:03 AM
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Warrioress Warrioress is offline
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I'm sick of this roller coaster ride called life! I've stopped going to school because I can't concentrate, I can't work well in my karate club because of the meds and I feel guilty because I feel like I'm a pain in the a*$ for the people close to me. I feel like I'm a burden to everyone around me. I feel useless. I have no hope for my future. I can't study, I can't be a champion in karate and I can't be a good wife or mother.
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"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." ~Stephen King

Dx Bipolar II
Med-free for the time being
  #6  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 09:06 AM
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Miss Laura Miss Laura is offline
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Hey Warrioress,

You are a BRILLIANT Mum and Wife.... your sad at the moment.

Can you call someone?
Talk to someone in RL?
Hang out with someone in RL?

I am worried about you
  #7  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 09:11 AM
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Warrioress Warrioress is offline
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Thank you Miss Laura. It means a lot. There is someone I can talk to, but the point is that I don't want to talk, because I don't want to share my pain with anyone. I don't want them to suffer on my account. They'll feel hurt and possibly guilty if I kill myself, but they will forget and hopefully forgive my after a while, whereas I'll continue to hurt them if I stay alive.
__________________
"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." ~Stephen King

Dx Bipolar II
Med-free for the time being
  #8  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 09:11 AM
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lynn P. lynn P. is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrioress View Post
I'm sick of this roller coaster ride called life! I've stopped going to school because I can't concentrate, I can't work well in my karate club because of the meds and I feel guilty because I feel like I'm a pain in the a*$ for the people close to me. I feel like I'm a burden to everyone around me. I feel useless. I have no hope for my future. I can't study, I can't be a champion in karate and I can't be a good wife or mother.
Are you a wife and mother at the moment or are you estimating the future? Things change ((Warrioress))). My daughter was at the brown belt level and unfortunately had to quit, but she can get back into it anytime. Are you taking your medication? It okay you need help and you're not a pain to family. Everyone has a purpose even if they don't feel they're making a big contribution ATM. Fight this like you would in karate.
__________________
This is our little cutie Bella

*Practice on-line safety.
*Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts.
*Make your mess, your message.
*"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi)

Thanks for this!
Miss Laura
  #9  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 09:14 AM
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Warrioress Warrioress is offline
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No, I'm not a wife or a mother. It's the future I'm worried about. I'm a brown belt too. I'm taking my meds and I feel like they've chained me down.
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"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." ~Stephen King

Dx Bipolar II
Med-free for the time being
Thanks for this!
lynn P.
  #10  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 09:49 AM
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lynn P. lynn P. is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrioress View Post
No, I'm not a wife or a mother. It's the future I'm worried about. I'm a brown belt too. I'm taking my meds and I feel like they've chained me down.
For now don't worry about the future. All we have is right now, plus people aren't good problem solvers when they're in crisis - trying to find solutions when you're depressed just makes you feel worse. I'm sorry you weighed down by your meds. Are you practicing your karate at home? Go through your Kata's so you don't forget them and the exercise will make you feel a bit better. You can't be sure things won't get better in the future and I don't want you do miss out on the chance to live. Maybe you could be a karate teacher. I heard a motivator say once - "that we need to accent what we're good at and what we love".
__________________
This is our little cutie Bella

*Practice on-line safety.
*Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts.
*Make your mess, your message.
*"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi)

Thanks for this!
FooZe
  #11  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 10:50 AM
**Angel** **Angel** is offline
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http://www.thesite.org/healthandwell...eelingsuicidal

Feeling suicidal
If you have hit crisis point, no matter how bad you feel, remember that there is always help available any time of day or night.


Quote:
Wanting to harm yourself or having lots of suicidal thoughts is more common than most people think, and there are many agencies that can give you help and support.
Helping yourself
Even if you feel like you can barely do anything to make things better, try reaching out to one other human being. Try not to isolate yourself. Tell one person you trust. It could be a family member, someone at work or college, or a friend. Try to get an appointment to see your family doctor, or ask for a home visit.
If you find it hard talking face-to-face about your feelings without feeling ashamed or embarrassed, try calling a confidential helpline like the ones listed in the Next steps box as a starting point. They have years of experience dealing with all kinds of people in crisis and are trained to listen without judging.
Many people also find that talking online can help. TheSite's discussion boards provide a safe place for you to chat and you'll find other people there who understand what you are going through.
Helping a friend
If someone you know tells you that they are thinking about harming themselves, take it seriously. Don't laugh or tell them to shut up, stop acting stupid, or snap out of it. Let them talk about the problem, and try not to judge them. Be kind, stay calm and get them medical attention as soon as you can. Sometimes, offering to go with them to a doctor's appointment will help them pluck up the courage to do so. It might be a false alarm, but it's better to be on the safe side.
PM me if you wish to talk...I been where you are now!! x
Thanks for this!
**Angel**, DocClyde, FooZe, lynn P.
  #12  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 11:08 AM
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DocClyde DocClyde is offline
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((((((((((((Warrioress ))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so badly.

Please get immediate real life help...call a family member/close friend, go to ER, call your doctor if you have one or call 911.

Below is a list of resources you can visit while online:

http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm

PLEASE SEEK IMMEDIATE REAL LIFE HELP.

Love and best wishes,

DocClyde
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Believe you can and you're halfway there.
--Theodore Roosevelt
Thanks for this!
FooZe, lynn P.
  #13  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 11:34 AM
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Trippin2.0 Trippin2.0 is offline
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Get help hun, you are w0rth the effort,d0n't let this illness lie to you! Sending lots of love and hope your way.
  #14  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 12:15 PM
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William Werner William Werner is offline
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I have been where you are too. Remember, there is nothing we can about yesterday, tomorrow has yet to come, so that leaves today. Talk to your doc about your meds to see to if he can change you to another or lower the dose of the meds you are currently on. Dont't give on doing the things that make you happy.
Thanks for this!
lynn P.
  #15  
Old Jun 02, 2011, 09:16 AM
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Forgive77 Forgive77 is offline
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Warrioress, I'm a mother of 5, three of them being 3 year old triplets. You can have children and be a good mom. I had to quit school when I realized it was too much for me. I'm 33 and new to my diagnosis. Don't do anything to yourself. There is a plan for you. It's just hard to see right now. Hugs from all of us. Please stay on the site, and keep reading the posts. It will help.
Thanks for this!
lynn P.
  #16  
Old Jun 02, 2011, 08:45 PM
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Merlin Merlin is offline
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There is hope. Please get the help you need so that you can enjoy your life again.
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859.
Thanks for this!
lynn P.
  #17  
Old Jun 02, 2011, 08:53 PM
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lynn P. lynn P. is offline
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((Warrioress))) - I hope you're okay. Can you let us know how you're doing?
__________________
This is our little cutie Bella

*Practice on-line safety.
*Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts.
*Make your mess, your message.
*"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi)

  #18  
Old Jun 02, 2011, 08:56 PM
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FreshlyBipolar FreshlyBipolar is offline
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I agree, please let us all know that you are okay!

There are other ways to get rid of these feelings. Please get the help you need.
  #19  
Old Jun 03, 2011, 04:45 AM
Confusedinomicon Confusedinomicon is offline
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Hold on.
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"You got to fight those gnomes...tell them to get out of your head!"
  #20  
Old Jun 03, 2011, 06:35 AM
**Angel** **Angel** is offline
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Hey hun, just want to check up on you and see how you are doing? x
  #21  
Old Jun 05, 2011, 03:21 AM
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Warrioress Warrioress is offline
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Thanks, all of you. Seeing all the replies from you almost made me cry.

The suicidal feelings were too much for me. I had two attempts during the past few days. I don't know how many days have passed. I've lost track of time. Again, thanks for caring. Thank you for being there for me. The suicide attempt feels like a healing wound. Hopefully, it will soon become a scar, but these scars take a long time to fade.
__________________
"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." ~Stephen King

Dx Bipolar II
Med-free for the time being
Thanks for this!
Miss Laura
  #22  
Old Jun 05, 2011, 03:42 AM
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Trippin2.0 Trippin2.0 is offline
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Big hugs 2 you!!!
  #23  
Old Jun 05, 2011, 06:42 AM
**Angel** **Angel** is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrioress View Post
Thanks, all of you. Seeing all the replies from you almost made me cry.

The suicidal feelings were too much for me. I had two attempts during the past few days. I don't know how many days have passed. I've lost track of time. Again, thanks for caring. Thank you for being there for me. The suicide attempt feels like a healing wound. Hopefully, it will soon become a scar, but these scars take a long time to fade.
I am sorry you had to attempts, did you see anyone such as a local GP or someone close to you? I am glad you are safe and okay, always remember you will always have someone of here that cares for you, you will always be in my thought no matter what! If you do ever feel like this again, is their hotlines you can ring in your area? Like the UK has Papyrus and ChildLine, I am not sure what their is in Iran though unfortunetly, maybe I should do some research for you! I am so glad to hear from you, it has made my day knowing you are now safe, sending you positive vibes and many hugs, never forget that someone on here always cares!!

(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))
  #24  
Old Jun 05, 2011, 07:10 AM
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Warrioress Warrioress is offline
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((((((((((Hugs))))))))))

There are no hotlines in Iran that I know of, but for the millionth time, thanks for caring
__________________
"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." ~Stephen King

Dx Bipolar II
Med-free for the time being
  #25  
Old Jun 05, 2011, 07:34 AM
**Angel** **Angel** is offline
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How are you doing today?
Reply
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