[Ryask]

I was just wondering if anyone else feels this way. When ever someone..compliments me i feel extremely anxious and sick, i say thank you, so I accept the compliment but it just halts me in my tracks, i'd like to tell for example my t not to compliment me because it doesn't feel good to me at all. It's not that i don't believe the compliment or think they are just humoring me so much as it just really feels...very uncomfortable. Just wondering if i should just ask people to not do it? Also wanting to see if it's just me that is weird about it.

[Sophia57]

I'm kind of the opposite. I thrive on compliments and people liking me. I need some external re-assurance, and I like to hear words. Maybe your love language is not talking. Maybe you would rather have a gift, or a touch?

I think you should let people compliment you if they want. Maybe some therapy to find out why it bothers you so much? I see you have a Bible verse posted. Do you think it is prideful to accept a compliment? I know God expects humility, but he also wants us to accept gracefully the gifts that others give us, if that makes any sense. Anyway, hugs.

[wrthlss]

•Ryask•
I feel the same exact way when I receive compliments, before I never use to say thank you I just shrugged it off or laughed it off. I feel the same very uncomfortably when someone hugs me when I don't want to be touched. And NO I haven't been sexual molested its just the way I've always been and not having any trust in anyone before.

[Ryask]

I never used to say thank you either, actually it's just something I started this year, why should I have to thank Somone for making me feel uncomfortable right? Haha anyways I didn't know what to say I'd just freeze with uncomfort so now I say thank you just to kinda releave the tension. I feel the same way as you do about people touching me, like an acquaintance came up to me in a resterant and put his hand on my shoulder I was just repulsed, like really people should not touch people they barely know. Anyways glad I'm not the only one. Also as for me thinking it's prideful I don't feel that way. It just makes me want to run away from them like I'm scared or something.

[ladyjrnlist]

you gotta work on believing them. Then they don't feel so weird to accept. I have the same trouble.

[SunAngel]

Ugh, I also hate to receive compliments. It makes me very uncomfortable.

I guess I need to talk it over with my therapist also.

You are definitely not alone in this.

I think it has everything to do with self-esteem though.

[wing]

I just give the standard "Thank you" and change the subject quickly before I get triggered.
Any other answer seems to prolong the agony.

I also can't stand touchy-feely people I don't know. It's an invasion of my personal space.

[Phoenix_1]

In addition to my Day Hospital stay, I just completed a 9 week program for survivors of abusive relationships. One thing that happens when you have low self esteem, for whatever reason, is that you can't accept compliments, because you don't think you deserve them. Most people who give compliments are sincere. So just smile and say thank you. And if they're not sincere, saying thank you and smiling will put them off their game. The week that we talked about self-assertion, the counselor greeted us at the door with a compliment. I didn't think until later that it may have been a test - and I'm still not sure it was. I just smiled and said thank you because by then I trusted her.

And I also learned in group therapy that you should never never touch anyone else without asking first. For example, if you see your friend crying, ask if it's ok to give her a hug. For some people it's never ok. And some people really need a hug. Just always ask. But I think virtual hugs are ok.

[Ryask]

I'm trying to think about the self esteem thing a bit, i guess it's, i don't know..like for example i can say about myself that I'm a really nice person, caring, compassionate, intelligent and funny. Just some of my good qualities that i know are very true about myself, however if i had low self esteam wouldnt i not belive these good things about myself? Also if someone says i'm intelligent which is true i feel just as bad as if they were saying that say i was good at math ...wich is absolutly not true...so no matter if the complimet is true or untrue...they just both make me feel uncomfortable?...Not sure if that makes sense...

[wing]

If I am able to acknowledge my good qualities, then that seems like good self-esteem. When other people notice those same good qualities is it really embarrassment that someone might believe the same things about me?

It makes me feel like someone exposed my inner thoughts about myself, and I am embarrassed that someone knows I feel that way about myself.

Whatever the reason, it sure is hard to say "thank you" with a period at the end. As in not say anything else.

[Ryask]

Originally Posted by wingin'it

If I am able to acknowledge my good qualities, then that seems like good self-esteem. When other people notice those same good qualities is it really embarrassment that someone might believe the same things about me?

It makes me feel like someone exposed my inner thoughts about myself, and I am embarrassed that someone knows I feel that way about myself.

Whatever the reason, it sure is hard to say "thank you" with a period at the end. As in not say anything else.

That is it....that word embarrassed...i think that's what it is..I'm embarrassed when someone compliments me, that's why it's uncomfortable...and that actually makes alot of sense to me..really most of my panic attacks are actually caused by my embarrassment...or perceived or predicted or imagined embarrassment. This is very useful i think i'll bring this up with my t and see what he can help me with, thanks so much