[whoami??]

I'm in a sever depressed funk of my Bipolar and I know it. It's eating me up with a vengeance. However, slowly each day I wake up feling a little bit better. So, I have been getting up out of bed, doing hair/makeup, gettig dressed, running errrands and "functioning" Sounds great right????

Here's the problem~ right about mid to late afternon I feel a complete and total shift. I go from that functional person who is getting things done to an emotional crying mess afraid of anything and everything!
I went to Wal Mart today. Before I went in, I felt great! Once I got inside I flipped mentally. I eventually had to find one of those empty end caps they have and sit down on it for like 20 minutes just to get the courage to get what I needed and get the heck out of there.
It's almost as if I felt I was being watched and judged. I'm not really sure.
I'm home now, still anxious and completely isolating myself from my husband and kids but I'm upset that as of right now the ONLY places I feel safe going are home, therapist, pdoc and inpatient mental hospitals. I don't even want to go to my own parents house!!!!!

Does this sound typical of Bipolar or could something else be posssibly going on?

[livelaughlove17]

Originally Posted by whoami??

I'm in a sever depressed funk of my Bipolar and I know it. It's eating me up with a vengeance. However, slowly each day I wake up feling a little bit better. So, I have been getting up out of bed, doing hair/makeup, gettig dressed, running errrands and "functioning" Sounds great right????

Here's the problem~ right about mid to late afternon I feel a complete and total shift. I go from that functional person who is getting things done to an emotional crying mess afraid of anything and everything!
I went to Wal Mart today. Before I went in, I felt great! Once I got inside I flipped mentally. I eventually had to find one of those empty end caps they have and sit down on it for like 20 minutes just to get the courage to get what I needed and get the heck out of there.
It's almost as if I felt I was being watched and judged. I'm not really sure.
I'm home now, still anxious and completely isolating myself from my husband and kids but I'm upset that as of right now the ONLY places I feel safe going are home, therapist, pdoc and inpatient mental hospitals. I don't even want to go to my own parents house!!!!!

Does this sound typical of Bipolar or could something else be posssibly going on?

It sounds like something else could be going on. It could be a med issue too. I would try to get in to talk to your pdoc and therapist as well. If it gets too serious before you get a chance to have an appt., I would go to the hospital just to be safe. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you and please keep us updated, if you feel comfortable of course.

[whoami??]

Thank you for your response!!!!
I am beginning to think it's a meds isssue. Last night I lost it and I just wanted to be left alone, I didn't want to see anyone, hear anyone speak or be touched by anyone so I went to my bedroom closet (it's actually the size of a d*mn kids room) and I laid down with a pillow and blanket in the dark and stillness of that room ad I just let it out. I cried, I screamed, I cried some more and MAY have thrown a couple of shoes around. I'm sureif I checked some of my heels are on top of my husbands sneakers but hey it helped me feel better right? Oh and maybe we will need to just a little bit fix a few minor spots on the closet wall were the end of long high heel hit the wall.....THREE times lol

But D*mn*it if I didn't feel better

[whoami??]

Well, here we go round again!!!! I'm anxious, want to isolate, need to focus but cant....I feel like I need to get out of this body!!!!
I cant wait until my DR opens tomorrow and I can call....Im so frustrated!!! Who knows what tonight will bring

I watch my mom go through this. She doesn't seem to think it's a problem, or has just accepted it. I think it is her meds, she has been on effexor for about 7 years, and I am really thinking it's her meds. I hope you get some answers tomorrow. That would not be fun at all.

[mokie]

This is an awful feeling. I too would isolate myself when I would get this way. I am now lucky that my husband has learned to understand my lanuage and behaviour to help me come out of my episodes or let them get to far. It's been helping quite a bit learning more each day. Here is a big hug for you and the pdoc does not have an after hours service? I would call it if you can't wait till morning. Before you leave this appt make sure you ask what steps to take when you feel this is coming on again.

[Forgive77]

Don't worry....everyone gets scared of going to Wal Mart. It's like going to the carnival....they're all there...the tattooed man, the biered lady, etc.,...it's not you...it's Wal Mart..more people have reactions there than you know!!! xoxoxoxoxox

[whoami??]

Thanks guys and thanks for the laugh Forgive....One thing that REALLY concerns me and Im wondering if I shold switch is that my psych doc doesnt have an after hours service. The office number goes to voicermail. Shouldn't this be concerning with all things being considered????

[whoami??]

Went to psych today..looks like I'll be trying to find a new one or do an partial outpatient program ir hell might just go inpatient , who knows. I personally have been a medical provider myself for over 10 years and I know how the drug rep/sales merry go round goes.....needless to say, I told him very directly "I will take whatever you think I need but it needs to be generic or I need you to give me samples and/or rebates" Well, to cut out about half of the story and make it much shorter it ended with him walking away slamming doors saying he's not playing game with these pharmacies.....BTW I take a total of 5 diffedrent meds, he only rx'd 2 today, those two alone would have cost me over $200. I told him I cant afford this at all and his basic response was well that's not my problem, go figure it out on your own, I cant help you....I'm thinking UUUMMMMM yes you can by rxing me something generic you asshat! Anyways he didnt and I dont have my meds filled and I informed them I would NOT be back as a patient. It's really a sad thing when the doctor works more for the drug companies than helping out their patients!!!!

[whoami??]

OH and he also RX'd me a med that Ive had in the past that gave me diarrhea the ENTIRE time on it so I quit taking it, I told hin this and he STILL gave it to me...he said its the "generic" equivalent of what he wanted to RX me....if that was the case then the two meds when they were branded would NOT have had different names...they DO have different chemical make ups if they have different "branded" names

[livelaughlove17]

That is horrible! I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I would definitely start seeing a new pdoc. I don't know where you live but here there is a free clinic that offers free doctor appts and counseling-- my insurance doesn't cover mental health. They also work with giving you samples or drug companies that offer financial assistance to those that qualify. My meds would be over $350 (US) a month and my insurance (through my job) only covers me $500/year... luckily I get the financial assistance which is the only way I'd be able to afford it. I'd try to do some research on that and see if there's any resources available where you live such as a free mental health clinic or one that operates on a sliding scale. I'm sorry to hear about this situation, but I assure you, there are doctors out there who truly care. They're hard to find, but they do exist and I really hope you find one because that doctor is a disgrace to the mental health field!