[allme]

Hi guys...gonna try and kee it brief...I am tired and really not functioning well at the moment.

I told you guys that they changed my meds to the fast release seroquel rather than the XL I was on. Anyway, I abused my meds again.....taking a heap more than what I should have. My CPN came today and after what recently happened she asked to see my meds. I couldnt believe she asked me but she did. She counted them and could see i had been abusing meds again so she gave me enough to do me until tomorrow and is now coming to see me daily to give me my meds for the day. I have been having 'thoughts' about suicide but recently they are becoming stronger. I am in no way saying I am going to try and do it but just that the thoughts are becoming stronger. And to top it all of my husband is being a jerk so I told him I didnt want to be with him anymore. Sad, its our wedding annivesary tomorrow. We are not talking and I feel as though I am living in my own personal hell. I just cant stop crying on and off. It all feels very hopeless at the moment. AND I cant sleep I am sick of it really I am.

[CjnGyrl74]

Originally Posted by allme

Hi guys...gonna try and kee it brief...I am tired and really not functioning well at the moment.

I told you guys that they changed my meds to the fast release seroquel rather than the XL I was on. Anyway, I abused my meds again.....taking a heap more than what I should have. My CPN came today and after what recently happened she asked to see my meds. I couldnt believe she asked me but she did. She counted them and could see i had been abusing meds again so she gave me enough to do me until tomorrow and is now coming to see me daily to give me my meds for the day. I have been having 'thoughts' about suicide but recently they are becoming stronger. I am in no way saying I am going to try and do it but just that the thoughts are becoming stronger. And to top it all of my husband is being a jerk so I told him I didnt want to be with him anymore. Sad, its our wedding annivesary tomorrow. We are not talking and I feel as though I am living in my own personal hell. I just cant stop crying on and off. It all feels very hopeless at the moment. AND I cant sleep I am sick of it really I am.

I am so sorry you are going through this, I know how debilitaing the downs are. If you don't mind I would like to ask why you were taking more of your meds than you should and how did ur CPN come to the realization that you were taking too many? As far as your husband goes, is he just not being understanding to your disease? No matter what, just remember tomorrow is another day, you CAN make it till then. Try to take care of yourself.

[allme]

Hi... around, i think nearly 2 weeks now, I went on a meds bender...took loads of different meds ...not to kill myself but just to numb myself. I had to go to hospital for observation. I came out and they changed my meds...which I have absed again. I just dont want to be here right now and really struggle at night time to keep sain. I have tried giving them to hubby but that just caused arguements in the past so my CPN is going to come daily until the meds should be working. Just a right old mess at the mo