[vanessaG]

Im sooooo soooo sick of all this. Last week was the best week ever! I was taking good care of my girls, endless energy, even rearranged several rooms!
I thought hey! These meds are startin to work! NOPE............

Starting sun feeling down, all the way to today just keep getting lower....been crying all day....just so depressed. Can barely get out of bed.

Saw Pdoc and he wants to add lamictal. Told him last time i tried it made me MORE depresseD! Oh and he gave me some adderral to help with my energy. I hate this. So now im on lithium, lamictal, emsam, klonopin as needed and adderal as needed!

Wow am i really that F'd up?! And I stilll feel like crap! I just wanna check myself into a friggen mental hosp and they can observe me and figure out some magic potion to get me off this weekly rollercoaster cuz i dont know how much more i can take of this. PLese pray for me....im so sick of this and so sad. Im crying as im writing this damn post!!

[Moose72]

Awww! I am sorry. I am on lithium and ativan and have tried at least 5 antipsychotics that I either had bad reactions to, was allergic to, or I just couldn't stand the way they made me feel, including lamictal. I know how it is to have your brain go on a party spree. Just keep talking to your pdoc. It will get worked out.

[sugahorse1]

Speak to your pdoc and maybe really consider checking yourself into a hospital. I'm not sure how long you've been dx'd or how long you've been trying to get your meds right, but it may help to speed the process up under supervision and in a hospital.
Pls don't be so hard on yourself. You aren't F'd up; you're just going through an episode, and it will straighten itself out again

[vanessaG]

i have been dealing with this off and on and taking meds since i was 18. (im 31 now.) They thought it was depression up until this past Feb '11 a pdoc i went to diagnosed me with bipolar. Since then its been tampering with diff medicines.
2nd pdoc also diagnosed bipolar (w/o knowing what the 1st one said) I had to get 2nd opinion, lol.

I just feel like ive been feeling this way for sooooo long. Im done feeling this way. I just want to be fixed already.

Yeah, if my depression goes any lower i may have to go inpatient. Last depression was pretty damn bad....like i dont even know how i got thu it. Plus my pdoc is leaving for russia 2nd wk of Oct....ugh

About the Lamictal-It made me suicidal! literally!! doctors are all for it, and ive read how everyone LOVES it, but me, it made me feel like Sh!!. Im just gonna take it and he can see for himself what a wreck this is gonna make me. Maybe it'll light a fire under his a##

[Anneinside]

Originally Posted by vanessaG

Saw Pdoc and he wants to add lamictal. Told him last time i tried it made me MORE depresseD! Oh and he gave me some adderral to help with my energy. I hate this. So now im on lithium, lamictal, emsam, klonopin as needed and adderal as needed!
!

I haven't met anyone else on Emsam! Just increased to 12mg a week ago and I finally think it's working. I also take Lamictal, Klonopin, Ambien, Abilify, Propranolol for psych drugs. Used to take ritalin but pdoc took me off it when I started the Emsam, she said it would interact with it.

[sugahorse1]

Lamictin at first didn't seem to do much. Then it levelled me out a while. Then the depression came back with a vengeance and only Wellbutrin has managed to get me out the rut

I am so sorry but I hear yeah. I am starting to feel the same way. I feel like a lab rat in a way. I shouldn't discourage you. I am new to this and very scared it seems it is up down all the time.

[vanessaG]

thanks for you guys responding back. i just dont see why im taking all these meds and still feeling this way. Last depression episode i hit (which wasnt even that long ago) i was feeling like suicide is my only option to get out of this pain. But then the rational side of me kicks in and i kinda talk myself outta it?!

Now, im starting to feel that way again...its like everyday since sunday is low, lower...its like gosh, how low is it gonna go...i mean if my pain is so bad that i feel like that?!

Sucks too, cause i saught out therapy, but im not getting anything and i really think that cound help me by now....i called pdoc in emergency last depression episode, i think i may have to again...im so depressed its scary...weird thing is, i can put on a happy face for when i go to my kids school or wherever for the time being so no one knows how much pain im truly in...not even 1 of my friends...no one except my father

Im on Emsam patch 12mg too. i thought that might help with my lows, but i guess not