New and Unsure

Hi everybody.. I'm new to this forum and there are a few things I want to get out.

In my past, I've seen a therapist for Panic and Anxiety (about the age of 13). Things got better for a few years, till I cut just before the age of 16 after a panic attack. A friend saw and told me to go to a youth group with him and as long as I didn't do it again he wouldn't tell. I went to the youth group and improved, lasting almost a year without cutting. A few months before I turned 17, I completely three-sixtied. I hated myself. I started to starve myself and cut. I stopped hanging out with friends and fought with all of them. A couple months later I was back to my "normal" self. A few months after that, however, I went back to starving and cutting and just went antisocial. Now, a couple of months after that, I feel "normal" again.

Point being, I looked around a bit online and I think I may be bipolar. I took several quizes on different online sights and they all said moderate form of bipolar disorder. Of course I'm not a doctor, but I do seem to have a cyclic style of behaviors. About every 2 months, my feelings completely change. I'm in a good cycle now (happier, really confident, energetic) but I do feel the "bad"cycle coming again as I'm finding myself moer and more irritable by the day.

My parents suggested me seeing someone a fews months ago at the end of my bad cycle, and I told them no because I was getting better. How wrong I was.

I just wanted to know what you guys think. I'm no doctor and neither are you but if you have been diagnosed maybe you can offer some support or advice. Do you think I amy have it?

We can't diagnose of course, as you already realize.

That said, it really doesn't sound like BP to me. Online quizzes (that I've seen anyway) are particularly bad at differentiating between bipolar disorder (BP) and borderline personality disorder (BPD). And frankly, they don't even seem to try to (mood swings are not exclusive to BP). There are significant things that differentiate BP and BPD. What you've described sounds more like Borderline and an eating disorder. Neither cutting nor starving have anything to do with bipolar.

I'd take your parents up on their offer of seeing someone. Seeing a professional is really the only way to know what might be going on.

Not to be contradictory, but I found a research paper recently that had findings that "Self-mutilation and suicide attempts are only partially overlapping behaviours, although both are predicted by mood disorder diagnosis and harm avoidance. Self-mutilation has a particularly strong association with bipolar disorder. Clinicians need to think of bipolar disorder, not borderline personality disorder, when assessing an individual who has a history of self-mutilation."

You can find the abstract online if you're curious - it's a fairly easy-to-read summary. Of course, this is only one study, but an interesting result, especially since it's contrary to almost everything else I've seen. Bottom line, though, getting a professional opinion is a good idea!

Citation info:
Self-mutilation and suicide attempts: relationships to bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, temperament and character
Peter R. Joyce, Katrina J. Light, Sarah L. Rowe, & C. Robert Cloninger
Australia and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry
March 2010, Vol. 44, No. 3 , Pages 250-257

Hi, krissyklutch. Welcome, & I'm glad you came here to talk. I've got no idea what label suits you, but I'd sure take up your folks offer & get to a pro to get someone who knows these things to figure it out with you.

With you. See, that's the deal about doing it 1-on-1 with a therapist. You're part of the process. In these online tests you're just the subject being judged. You are talking about your life here, so go with the process.

I was supposedly clinically depressed. A hospital stay 2 yrs ago finally turned up my bi-polarity (is that a word?) & it wasn't the label that fit but the mood stabilizer that changed my whole outlook on life that told me we were finally on to something.

See a therapist. Stay in touch. Please let us know how things go & whether we can help. Stop by for a or a or whatever we can do to help.

Welcome to PC,
not sure if your BP, BPD or some other form of alphabet soup!!!! but regardless hope that PC can be a supportive community for you. some expert help in the form of a diagnosis and some therapy +/- some meds could be a life changing experience for you.
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