Scared

So, I'm doing my usual thing... Worrying about things that aren't going to happen for AWHILE. But I just had to get it off my chest.

I'm scared - no, terrified of my future. It's hard enough being a young adult, paying for college, paying for rent when you finally get a place of your own... But how do you figure medical treatment for my mental disorder into that? Sure, I can stay on my parent's insurance plan for a good long while but someday, that'll be over then what do I do? I'm so used to having everything handed to me, I don't know if I could handle the shock of having to deal with this stuff on my own.

I don't want to have to handle this on my own. I'm scared of being out there in the world, I want to just stay at home and be with my parents forever but I know that I can't do that. College is around the corner and I have to be prepared for it. It's going to be the first big step in becoming an adult and I'm terrified. I'm going to have to drive there myself (I have issues with driving, it scared the crap out of me!) which is a stressor in itself for me.

Wow, I do feel a lot better after getting that off of my chest.

You're not the only one out there, i can promise you that. I struggle to pay the bills let alone for my health care. i've been without health insurance for over 3 months and its making it real hard to make ends meet. if all goes well, i'll be getting hired to the company here soon and get benefits. fingers crossed

I hope you can get hired! That'd be really good!

I don't see myself being able to work enough to pay for what I need. I'm hoping that when I get married someday, my husband will have a good enough job where I won't have to worry about it. I know that might not be the case, but it helps to be able to dream a little.

At least you can stay with your parents while you are in college! Going away and living separately while starting college is considered a big big stressor for sicknesses such as schizophrenia, by people who are really knowledgeable about it, and they recommend your arrangement (staying with parents) for that reason alone. So let us be thankful that you have THAT!

Trust me, as someone who has already been there and done that; it WILL work out. There are opportunities to work part time and still get medical coverage. You can live with a roommate or two. I put myself through college, lived on my own, worked, and had bipolar disorder and OCD. It took me 8 years but I got my BA. I was in and out of the hospital a lot but I made it. Also, you are so young, don't sell yourself short. You may very well be able to work enough to support yourself. Even with a mental illness, you have many opportunities ahead of you. You also have many years. So don't limit yourself. I am working full time and have been for a year with no hospitalizations and no time off of work due to my mental illnesses. I never thought I'd get here either. Sending you good thoughts...