mixed episode

I went to my pdoc today after seeing him last week when I was in the throws of mania. Now I am having a mixed episode and I HATE it so much!
I want the mania back! I am Soooo irritable. I get angry over nothing. I am tired, but up at the same time.
He told me that he will take me out of work if I start biting everyone's heads off.
I just don't know what to do. I want to cry out of frustration, but I want to laugh because this bipolar BS is just so ridiculous. GRRR

Recently, I went from weeks of hypomania into dysphoric mania- irritable, angry, no filter on my mouth, nervous, disorganized thoughts, forgetful, couldn't stand loud noises, etc....but I am stable now.

It was absolutely horrible...I sympathize with you. Did Pdoc change meds at all?

My advice is decrease all stimulation- noises, activities, conversations need to be quite and not controversial. And rest, if you can, while doing something like a jig saw puzzle to occupy your mind.

I can totally relate, as I went through this very recently. It SUCKS. But, I'm sure you know that episodes don't last forever. Hang in there, things WILL get better no matter how hard it may be to believe that right now.

yeah, that is about where I am at. I can snap at anyone at the drop of a hat. In fact I did so at my son the other day and then I felt really bad. Loud noises really bother me!!! Pretty much everything you said, I am going through right now.

It's funny that you mention jigsaw puzzles because that is my one vice that keeps me sane and focused.

Thanks for the advice and help!

I am trying so hard. Even my pdoc said, "Just remember that this is a phase you are going through and it too shall pass." He said he would take me out of work if I feel like I am going to be biting people's heads off. Which is just about where I am at.

I forgot to mention that he upped my Lamictal, took me off Lexapro and gave me Klonopin to help sleep and to help get through my day. I take 1/2 at night and 1/2 during the day if I need it.

Again, it IS just awful....I would discuss with your family that you are ill right now and not to take what you may say or do personally at this time. Also, I don't know what it is about the puzzles either, but they were a complete necessity for me.

I not only pulled myself out of work, but went to the hospital, because I didn't know what exactly was going on with me and I was scared. I also was afraid if I went to work like that that I would be fired.

However, now that I know these severe symptoms can happen and may reoccur in the future I would probably try to manage it a home with my Pdoc and tdoc, because being around other sick people aggravated the episode.

Sounds like a plan. During my episode they decreased my antidepressant, increased Seroquel 2-3 times and increased klonopin at bedtime and as needed through out the day.

Your Pdoc is right...this too shall pass, but it incredibly hard while going through it. Have you had these symptoms before?

I did talk to my family last night. I had to explain to my 11 year old a bit about BP because I didn't want him to take what I say (when I'm angry) to heart. I try to let his dad deal with him when I am like this.

I am trying to avoid the hospital and am hoping my pdoc doesn't end up sending me there. I'd rather be taken out of work for a few days instead.

I have had these symptoms before, but never recognized them. I am trying to be very aware of how I am feeling and what I can do to help myself. It's hard because sometimes I don't realize when I am in a mood that can effect others, like when I get snippy with people or when I get the depression.

Thanks for talking this through with me, it helps to hear from others what they have gone through or are going through right now.

I am trying to keep a journal of my feelings so I can share them with T when I see her again on Thursday.

Glad to help...hang in there, sounds like you're doing everything you can at this point to help yourself. Good job!

I go through this quite a bit too. I work in a corporate environment, and have to then minimise my contact with people. I even listen to my iPod and stay in my own world. Yes, some times I am out of line. Just this morning I snapped at someone, and didn't realise how badly they'd taken it...
When I get home, I try get into bed asap. Klonopin does help me sleep. And I find I tend to eat a hell of a lot more than usual (comfort food I think).
I rapid cycle, so these episodes generally come and go quite quickly. It's when they creep out the blue that I take major strain.
It's also sad that we aren't as quick to take a day sick leave when we battle emotionally, but not if we have a cold or similar. Personally I need to learn this too, but maybe it's something you need to implement too.

Speak to your partner to go easy on you too and take up some of your responsibilities at home.

I tried to listen to music at work, but my boss said no. I know it would help with my auditory irritations, but oh well.
I go to bed almost right when I get home. I take my pills and go lay down. I usually watch tv til I fall asleep.
I feel lucky that I am not a rapid cycler. I know that this mixed episode will last about a week or two.
I have FMLA, so I take days when I need to, but I feel like I need to every day right now and I just can't do that.
My husband has been so fabulous. He doesn't take anything personally and knows when I need hugs and when to leave me alone.

I am sitting here at work and just started crying for NO reason. OMG I HATE being bipolar. I just wish it would go away. I am so embarrassed right now.

Maybe it's time to tell your boss you're not feeling well and need to leave?

I can't because I already missed Monday and I am backed up at work.

I only have 1/2 an hour to go. I even took 1/2 a klonopin and it didn't do anything for me, at least not that I could tell.
If I still feel this way tomorrow am going to call the pdoc and try to get in. I don't know how long I can hold on feeling so crappy.

I'm glad you're almost done with work today.

Once I felt like you do the meds had to be increased 3 times over a weeks time to even start to bring me out of it. All together the dyphoric mania lasted 2 weeks total, then came horrible exhaustion. At that point meds had to be lowered because they were a bit too high. But now I'm stable and still am on 100mg more of seroquel then I use to be.

The day I called off work I had an extremely busy day ahead of me (I'm a home health nurse), BUT I couldn't work....period! I have been off now for 2 months on FMLA and go back next monday. My doc wouldn't even consider letting me go back to work until I was stable for a few weeks.

I know how much it sucks, but you need a plan so you don't get worse ??

Thanks for the help. I am getting really tired and just want to go home and go to bed. I don't even want to eat.
My pdoc is really good about working with me. He did say he would take me out of work if needed, so that may be what happens.
I want to call out of work tomorrow and see if I can get in to the pdoc. Of course, it all depends on how I feel tomorrow.
Yes, a plan is good.....I sort of have one.

Let me know how you are tomorrow....get some zzzzzzz

Well, I was able to get some sleep. Right now I feel....blah. Sort of numb, but really tired. I am grumpy too. I can feel that I am going to snap at someone.

Are you staying home from work and calling Pdoc?

No, I'm not staying home from work, but I am going to leave early if I need to. I am thinking about calling the pdoc. I probably will later.

as much as it is tough, I encourage you to go to work. You don't need work trouble on top of your emotional trouble... it would not help.

this way they can see you are making your best efforts. Leave earlier if you need to... but chances are you can make it through the day.

be well.

You're right about not needing trouble at work. Luckily I have FMLA, so they can't do anything to me. lol
I think I might be able to make it through the day.

Boy, I know exactly how you feel and it is a horrible situation. When I was put on the antidepressant, Remeron, it sent me right into dysphoric mania. I was mean to everyone and wouldn't even let my husband put his arm around me or even touch me in any way. It was the worst feeling in the world and I couldn't even help it. I went off the Remeron and was back to my normal self in 3 to 4 days.

Oh Crap here come the tears again. I can't stand this and I don't think I can handle it til I see my pdoc on Monday. I JUST saw him on monday, so I feel silly that I can't make it a whole week without seeing him and needing his help and guidance. I just don't know what to do.