[trampledon]

Hi again.

I've posted on here a few times over the past few weeks regarding the situation with my expartner.

We split after I found she was having an affair; or rather I moved out! Ever since I noticed she was behaving in ways typical to having BP and she was on fluoxetine (no other medication).

She has been off fluoxetine for about 6 weeks now but doesnt show signs crashing but has calmed down a bit (she had been on fluoxetine for about a year). She is still very distant with me although she will now sit in the same room as me!

She had started seeing a new guy and then broke it off and now she is back seeing him again (according to my kids).

This seems to be quite an extended amount of time and I'm coming to terms with the fact that she might well be over her manic episode but has no feelings for me any longer!

Do you think, that my being absent has basically put a nail in the coffin? I had to stay away as she was making up stories about me and making it hard for to see her or go to the house (even to see the kids).

She doesnt do this any longer and I do now see the kids once or twice a week. She is very reluctant to talk to me about 'us'. When I mentioned via text that I still love and care for her she told me she doesnt feel the same still although she has finished with the guy she was seeing. However, 2 weeks down the road she is seeing this guy once again!

Do you think it is possible that she may still be in an episode after all this time? Or possibly has recovered somewhat but just has no feelings for me still? Could the fact she was on fluoxetine make this episode last an extended period?

We've been split now for 4 months and it is starting to take its strain on my mentally and emotionally. There would be a lot of mess to clean up between us, but she is the mover of my son and I care for her and love her dearly.

[Charlie_J]

Originally Posted by trampledon

This seems to be quite an extended amount of time and I'm coming to terms with the fact that she might well be over her manic episode but has no feelings for me any longer!

I wouldn't feel right commenting on anyone else's situation or relationship, but as far as episodes go, mine can last anything up to a year, with shorter cycles in between.

Hope that helps a bit.

[Detach]

>>>>>>We split after I found she was having an affair; or rather I moved out! Ever since I noticed she was behaving in ways typical to having BP ...<<<<<<

Do you think she was cheating do to increased sexual drive related to a manic episode? Is that what you're saying?

I've never done that or wanted to do that, however my Tdoc said it's common for people with BP during a manic episode and at times "compels" them to cheat, but they are just as ill at the time as someone who during a manic episode that buys/shops too much, gambles too much or talks to much. I'm not saying it's right, but apparently it happens. If someone would have tried to stop my shopping during hypomania I would have become furious!

Only a Pdoc could determine if she IS BP.

>>>Do you think, that my being absent has basically put a nail in the coffin?<<<<

This is a tuffy....if she WAS ill and you left (although clearly reasonable since she was cheating on you), she may feel you abandoned her. But, that's just a guess. She may resent you now and in her mind you are not someone who she can rely on. Of course none off this is "rational" thinking, since SHE was the one who stepped outside the marriage.

So basically without a diagnosis, without her going to therapy, without her communicating with you.....some of these questions may never be answered and you may just have to except what she has said which is that she doesnt feel the same for you anymore.

As hard as it is to except you may just have to move on with your life....sorry

[trampledon]

Thanks for your comments.

Maybe I am kidding myself but I can help but think she will snap out of it!

Sometimes I think that not telling her I love her and acting that way and maybe even start seeing another woman is the only way to turn her head; but it feels like playing a teenage game (we're both in our 30's)!

[Detach]

Originally Posted by trampledon

Thanks for your comments.

Maybe I am kidding myself but I can help but think she will snap out of it!

Sometimes I think that not telling her I love her and acting that way and maybe even start seeing another woman is the only way to turn her head; but it feels like playing a teenage game (we're both in our 30's)!

All you can do is let her know how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same, then I say move on with your life, since this may not have anything to do with BP and may just be how she wants it. If she doesn't want to be with you anymore, then don't beat your head against the wall. Except your present moment, be open to other possiblities... you'll find happiness again, it just may not be with her.