As the day goes on I am falling apart...

BNLsMOM · Oct 24, 2011, 01:58 PM

I'm sorry that happened. I am sure shse will understand, and you will be able to reschedule you appointment.

Oct 24, 2011, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preternatural

My mother tried to hide her pain when I was little. It made me try to hide my pain too. I didn't want her to see me suffer or think that she was a bad parent. I was just diagnosed as bipolar. I wished she had let me in then. I would have done my best to help her. I would have also understood so much more about myself. Not only could I have been there for her earlier on in lifelong struggle of suffering, but I would have known why it also affected my sister and me. My mother is undiagnosed now, but we've made strides in our relationship since I've been diagnosed.

My children know that I have Bipolar, I want them to know that when I am depressed that ii has nothing to do with them, when I am manic, again, not their fault, and when I am in hospital especially I don't want them too feel too scared. My father had Bipolar1 undiagnosed until later years, My family revolved around his untreated illness, That is what I want to protect my children from. I'm sorry that it was painful for you, I am glad you have found a way to be closer.

Oct 24, 2011, 08:01 PM

Going to yoga tonight. I am totally not feeling it tho. Feeling pretty drugged and very down still. Had quite a few crying spells today. I hope the yoga will help a little.

Detach · Oct 24, 2011, 08:34 PM

Anika,
so sorry you're not feeling well... (((hugs))))

kindachaotic · Oct 24, 2011, 11:31 PM

So sorry you were down & teary today. Not sleeping when the rest of the world does is a drag, very inconvenient.

Hope yoga made you feel better!

roads · Oct 25, 2011, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anika

Going to yoga tonight. I am totally not feeling it tho. Feeling pretty drugged and very down still. Had quite a few crying spells today. I hope the yoga will help a little.

I was lurking Sunday night.
So I know you werent just awake but being caring of another thru-out many of those hrs. You are so kind, Anika, to all of us. Putting a pot of coffee on at 3 am (or whenever) makes missing an early appt not too surprising. Maybe you would have anyway but ...
I think it's easier & more satisfying for you to help others. I wish you could put as much love & caring into helping you.

Oct 25, 2011, 11:02 AM

Thanks roadrunner, I'm getting there.

Yoga last night was awesome, I feel way better. I really wish the studio was attached to my house so I could just walk in any time I needed. But I am thankful that I get to go. I never realized in the beginning how big of a tool it could be to me. Today I shall remain working on being " present ". Tomorrow will come soon enough.

Detach · Oct 25, 2011, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anika

Today I shall remain working on being " present ". Tomorrow will come soon enough.

Aahhhh the key to happiness really and de-stressing.

Oct 26, 2011, 10:59 AM

App day today, can't figure out what to wear not look big. I haven't been eating last couple days so this is probably good timing i guess. I'm hoping we won't have to talk too much about my dad, even tho he is gone now I still don't like to talk about it. And I always cry at all my psych app's, I don't know why. It just happens. Embarrassing as that is. At least I am prepared to cry. It should be interesting , I am curious to see how the deal with non body image related causes.

roads · Oct 26, 2011, 11:10 AM

Thinking about you, Anika.

Oct 26, 2011, 12:50 PM

Anika! Keeping you in my thoughts and sending positive thoughts for your appt.. Let us know how it goes, (but only if you want to of course!)...

kindachaotic · Oct 26, 2011, 01:27 PM

Anika, Hope all goes well.

There is nothing wrong with crying & don't be embarrassed about it.

Sending my thoughts & prayers your way.

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As the day goes on I am falling apart...

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