[widgets]

Well as you may know, i've not been having a very stable time recently.
Well i had my 6 monthly, CPA (care-plan assessment) meeting with a pdoc, it was the first time we'd met.
He was looking at my notes from about a year and a half ago, he didnt know anything that was going on now.
When my support worker who was with me mentioned DBT and personality disorder, he just looked confused as to why anyone would think that from my notes. I was so annoyed, that he seemed to be asking questions totally irrelevant, there was also a student nurse there so i was fairly anxious, i didnt want to speak to him.
Anyway, he said this "i dont feel a bipolar diagnosis fits, nor personality disorder."
I've gone off my meds and trying to get in touch with myself so i can try and work out what is actually the problem.
My therapist, thinks i'm definitely Borderline, she is someone i have shared my every thought with.
my old Pdoc, old nurse and old support worker, think i'm bipolar, they have seen me over the course of a whole year.
My new support worker, who knows me well for the sort of person i am now doesnt feel a specific diagnosis is right for me, she thinks we should just deal with symptoms as they come up.
Also my new pdoc totally dismissed the voices and psychotic experiences, which i'm not really happy about, because they are really distressing.

I feel like i have quite a bit of insight to myself, so i might just work it out myself and go and tell them exactly whats wrong with me!!!

But i have an actual bipolar dx so i dunno why he thinks after reading notes a year old and talking to a very closed and anxious me, he knows the situation well enough to say i'm not bipolar.

I'm so stressed out right now, i start a new full time job on the 28th of November, my heads in a really bad place and i'm lonely.

[jlock4507]

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I asked a question a while back, that was close to what you were asking. what I was told was: A psychiatrist is best qualified to diagnose you, not a counselor or therapist. Since your new pdoc has only seen you once, maybe after seeing you more, and getting to know you better, his dx will change. Make sure you tell him exactly how you are feeling now (as opposed to him reading notes a year old) so he can tell what is going on. I wish you the best, and hope that things get figured out for you soon! Hugs!

[roads]

(((widgets)))
I'm glad to hear from you but so sorry they've done this to you. I wish you could have responded instantly by tossing all this feeling right at them, but I know you couldn't. That's part of the trouble.

I understand why you went off meds but wonder with the new job and now this whether you might not need something. If those meds are wrong, can you see someone about working on a mix that works better? What is your coping plan?

Roadrunner

[widgets]

I was on lamictal, i was feeling awful before i went off it, i'm not as depressed now, i just feel bloody mental to be honest, not manic though, my moods ok, its just my thoughts are extremely paranoid and strange

[roads]

Aren't "paranoid" & "strange" moods too? They are for me, & I'm not okay with them. Maybe we're just different in what we can put up with & be comfortable with.

Feeling bloody mental worries me when I'm that way. Never feel I can trust myself, and that can end up with my being paranoid.

Guess we each have a path to get to those bad places. Still wondering what's your coping plan.

Are you still working your other job? When will you leave it, if you are?

[widgets]

yeah i've been working through out this whole 'episode,' havent had one day off.

I cant explain whats going on because i feel like my head is locking its self up, i have all these strange thoughts and weird experiences and as soon as i try to write them down or tell someone, it disappears like i need to keep this to myself

[roads]

When do you stop the current job? Will you have any break?

When you try to write things, can you even get a word or phrase down? Even if it doesn't seem to make any sense? If you can, can you go back to it? Maybe some more will come?