[ItsmeTC8888]

My family and friend are so impatient with me lately. I am bipolar and I have a tendency to burst out, whether it is my soar, happiness, or irritability. My family has put up with a lot from me over the years. I understand and appreciate that. But there are times I can’t control myself. I rely heavily on my family and friends because I am on social security and can’t afford to live on my own. I have gotten a lot better but my family and friends seem to think I am cured and scorn me for little things I do (nothing compared to the way I acted before Rispiradone) . I can control myself to a certain extent. I have to tell myself over and over in my head think before you speak. How is that going to sound? Is what you need to say going to cause problems? Sometimes this works but not always. I don’t know where I would turn right now if my daughter got totally fed up with me (because I live in her house) and wanted me to find another place to live. I wouldn’t have anywhere to go and little, very little, money to get there. My home state is California and I am currently living in Kansas with my daughter, who is in the military. I am scared!
Maybe I should get myself to California and get on a homeless list and possibly find a housing assistance program. I know they have one I was on it before.
Any advise?

[lad007]

Don't they have any low income housing where you live? I live in a small town and there are several apt complexes for those on disability that are based on income. It is 30% of whatever your check is.

[roads]

I'd really check into CA before going back. They have cut most of their social programs. I really doubt that you'd find much help left for you there.

Lad's right ... have you checked locally?

I'm sorry, I know depending on others can be hard. So can having to make it on our own.

[ItsmeTC8888]

Originally Posted by lad007

Don't they have any low income housing where you live? I live in a small town and there are several apt complexes for those on disability that are based on income. It is 30% of whatever your check is.

I wouldn't want to stay here when my daughter gets out of the army because I don't have any family here and only 2 friends, one of which is married to someone in the army and won't be here much longer. Its really hard to make friends and gain support that is local. I am already very lonely here.

[lad007]

Well I am sorry that you feel lonely. I am bipolar also and sometimes our minds cook things up and if we have no one to talk to, they can be really hard to deal with.
Is there a mental health center where you can attend groups to get a little support?
Has your daughter specifically mentioned anything you have done that is irritating that you can work on, or are you just worrying in general?

[~Christina]

Do you have family or some kind of support system in California ? If not ,,even tho its your home state whats the pull to return ? I also ask as Lad asked? Has your daughter specifically said anything ? I know personally I worry about everything and almost consistantly think the worst ...

Make sure you put some thought and hopefully some type of therapy or group sessions or even some info on here that might help you decide what to do .
Just my thoughts ... Above all ...."Take care of you "

Wishing you Love and Peace ~

[ItsmeTC8888]

My daughter has said things that I say and do that bother her. She usually doesn't bring them up untill later because I think she does know that I can't alway controll myself. I do know there is a homeless program in CA that I am sure I can get into because I have a friend that also has mental problems that is in it right now.

I just worry because I don't want to put a strain on my relationship with my daughter. She works about 12 hours a day in the army and she is always on call for her soilders. She has helped me out a lot coming here and having a safe place to get pretty stable on meds. I still have some mood swings and anxiety but much better then before I moved here. Now I wonder if its my time to move on to become independent.

I do have some support in CA. I talk on the phone a lot with my support but its not the same as getting out of the house and visiting. I have terrible social issues and being here I keep myself in the house a lot and my daughter has very little time to herself.

Thank you to everyone who listened. I am not looking for anyone to make the decision for me just some people to talk it out with. I am sure my daughter still loves me just don't want to wear her out.

Thanks