[Lost&confused89]

Ok, I just wrote this long story and it didbt post, so this time ill sum it up...

I am a young mom of a2 year old, I stay at home and take care of my family all day everyday. We dont have a car, nor money to get me out... But, I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder and severe anxiety over a year ago. I go to counceling, and am on meds but when I go, im never manic so that doesnt help.

Basically, im lost. Nobody will help anymore because my raging episodes have pushd everyone away... Im desperate to overcome this disorder and have a better life. Im a bad person, and a worse mom... Please help me!

[~Christina]

Welcome to PC .. I hope you can find support and lots of info here.

Be proud that you are going to a Therapist and on medications .. You are trying !

Be kind to yourself and post anytime ,, So many very supportive people here to help you out

Good luck

[bennetta]

pe haps you might want to try some free online courses or take up some hobbys. It can be lonely being a stay at home Mom and even more difficult when your bipolar. Have some faith in yourself and keep going to counceling. Talk to your Doc about mending some of those relationships. Take Care and keep posting.

[missbelle]

Welcome...you got your hands full with a two year old. Thye will definately keep you going!!
Need to tell the Dr. that you may need better meds if you are still manic at times. Good meds will help you stay in control. When people realize you are different and are stable they will come back into your life. Give it time for meds to work. Peole get scared of manic behavior, and are frightened and threatened. Eventually you will show them you are a stable person.

Its tought with no car or money and stuck in the house with a kid. I remember those days myself, and they were not pretty. You have to find something to keep you busy. Maybe psychcentral will help. There is a games section here I play on, and I am usually on a couple hours every day. You should meet a lot of great friends here with similar situations. Don't give up if you don't find what you want exactly. Its like everything, it takes a little while. I am looking forward to seeing your name in games and on some posts!!

[Lost&confused89]

Honestly my biggest peoblem is I have no support from my boyfriend... I pushed away my friends, and I feel like im alone. I want to be a good person, but im not. I even find myself not wanting to care for my son. Thats where my true trouble stems. I want to be a good mom. but im thinking of signing over custody... Ugh, I just want this stupid disease to allow ME to break through... Any ideas?

[aquaman]

I stay home & take care of my son, so I definitely understand how hard it can be to be BP and a parent. Some days, especially when I'm depressed, I want to rip my hair out.

Stick with the counseling and the meds. It might take a while to get the right med combo figured out, but when you do you'll feel a lot better. Also, as others have said, stay busy. I do a lot of reading, watching TV, writing, etc. Staying busy helps a lot, especially when I'm depressed.

[33yankee33]

Hi Lost&confused89. Sorry things are so difficult for you now. It will get get better for you. Keep tweaking the meds with you pdoc and continue with the therapy. I know what it's like to ride the bus or walk or rely on the kindness of others for rides. Relationships can be mended over time. See if you can arrange for child care a couple of times a week for an hour or two to give you time to decompress and do something for you. This forum should help you. Good luck!

Hi. I'm not a single mom but just trying to imagine being in your position is hard! I have a lot of respect for you. You said that you don't have a lot of support from your boyfriend? Would he be willing to go to a therapy session with you so that you could explain to him how you feel in a safe enviorment? I agree with everyone saying that you need to find something to do for yourself that makes you happy. I am sure you are not a bad person. I know for me, sometimes it's my bipolar that tells me I am. Hang in there ok? Welcome to PC

[Lost&confused89]

Thanks everyone! Im going tothe pdic next month.. Ill get it switched and hopefully something will work... And I need to work on me time... Its literally driving me nuts!

[Rosie23]

I know it is probably a pain, but you could try keeping a small notebook and track how you are feeling each day and take it to your appointment so the doc can see what is going on.
And I know all about being stuck at home with a wee one. Do you have a stroller? Try going for a walk. Bundle up, and head out. A little exercise may help to take the edge off. Good luck and hang in there!

[Lost&confused89]

I trief the notebook thing and kept forgettimg to write... When im manic its the last thing on my mind. But maybe after the episode I could take 10 minutes to reflect... Hm... And lol yes I have a stroller, my boyfriend and I were just talking yesterday how as soon as my sinus infection goes away im going to start that because the fresh air clears my head... Thanks rosie!!