How many of you have dysphoric mania, or experience mania as anything but a good time? When I am hypomanic on the rise to mania, that part feels great, but it soon turns into horror. Once I am fully manic it is almost always a horrible experience. I don't know, didn't always use to be this way. I see my pattern like this:
Hypomania --> Mania --> Dysphoric (mixed)

This is my post medication pattern, every time. My pre medication pattern ended with mania, much of the time, but not always. Obviously this makes me crave mania much less, but it stinks. I've always wondered if it's the meds that bring me to dysphoric mainc state every time, or if it's just my natural progression. Also I get psychotic symptoms every time. Haha I really feel I am getting the short end of the stick with this.

Has anyone had a similar experience with this?

[~Christina]

Hey Anika

I dont get the happy mania im on top of the world and i can do anything stuff

I get the paranoid everyone hates me or thinks im stupid but I cant turn my brain off and I of course dont sleep so I have plenty of time to beat myself up more so than when im not manic .I get the hallcination visual and auditory ,,very UNpleasant to say the least .

I just wish i could get a lil bit of hypo to perk me up so i can tackle some stuff .. Im feeling almost happy but that would be a first in 2 + years so the thought of " happy" literally scares me .. I plan on talking to my T about it tomorrow ..

[nacht]

My hypomanias are usually pretty okay and I get a lot done, but once I'm manic I'm just irritable and paranoid and horribly anxious. I can't sleep, I can't turn my brain off, and I start to hate the world around me and everything and everyone in it. This is when I tend to scream and cry and throw things.

[ladyjrnlist]

Ditto for me to what Nacht said.

[xp1155]

I usually have mixed episodes. Hypomania is typically good as far as how I am feeling, but I tend to blow off some work because I want to enjoy my good mood. However, sometimes I just want to cry for no reason and all and I don't want to be around anyone. I snap at people or sometimes make a complete fool of myself.

[roads]

Before I was dx'd, I'd flip from deep depression to irritated or angry in what could be a blink. I could then sink back to the deep depression within an hour. My life.

Yeah, I'm better. They call it bipolar II, treated. Where do I go from here ... And when? But I'll take what I can get, one day at a time.

For now I'm grateful for what I've got. Very grateful.

[grandmaof3]

With me a little bit manic or hypomanic is good..I tend to start spending too much money though...but then when it escalates into full blown mania its bad. Real bad. I hear voices, get paranoid and aggitated, don't sleep at all. My mind is racing and I talk so fast no one can understand me. I get wild ideas and try to manipulate anyone who tries to stop me. I am irrational. Yeah I yell and throw things too. Its horrible. I change into a monster in an instant ..one minute I'm on top of the world and the next I'm in a black rage an intant later the rage can be (but not always) gone> I hate it.

[moremi]

I am the same. Hypomania for me is great, never felt better. When it turns into mania im ok for a couple days but after no sleep or food my irrational beliefs and thoughts turn into paranoia. I hold so much tension in my neck and shoulders im sore for days and my mind never stops. I get very delusional. Its not good.

[momscaretaker0306]

When I start to go toward mania it feels so good, but I know it is not real and I know how it will end. I spend money, clean excessively and think. That does not last long. I then come down so hard. I cry at the drop of a hat. I can barely function. I then think more and more those racing thoughts that never stop. Lately we have added hearing things and I have no one to tell. I am afraid to tell my T because I was doing so well. Now not so much. I am just very alone and tired so tired... Mania is scary to me because I think we know where it will lead.

Hypo here, but it can go both ways for me. When it's good, it's very very good, but when it is bad, it's awful. The bad side is one of my med compliance motivators. I become someone I do.not.want to be: monster/raging/my mother. You get the picture. I haven't noticed it be a progression from one to the other. More like a crap shoot.

[nicole84]

Very similar to moremi. The lack of sleep makes me way more agitated and irritable, I get paranoid, anxious and think that there's things outside that are going to get me. The world just gets scarier. Things look different, more sensitive to light, sound and colours. Lots of tension in my neck and shoulders also.

I'm yet to have an 'awesome' mania and almost get envious of people that do!

[SunAngel]

When I was put on Remeron for depression, it sent me into such a dysphoric mania that I couldn't stand.

My husband couldn't even touch me without me telling him to get lost. I was mean and rude to everybody, and the only thing that changed was going on the Remeron. When I went off of it, within 4 days, I was back to my old self again.

Dysphoric mania is very uncomfortable. I always experience the good type of mania, but went into dysphoric and hated every minute of it.

Anyone who experiences this type of mania has my sympathy.

[AniManiac]

I get euphoric until things accelerate too high, at which point it just gets scary.