Why getting dressed can be so difficult?

I'm just wondering how many people find clothes so off-putting they dread getting dressed.
Even if I'm doing reasonably well, I hate getting dressed. And it's not that I can't be bothered to get out of my pyjamas. I would happily change from one pair of pyjamas to another. So it's not the actual movement of removing something and putting something else on. Or not even that by getting dressed I have to go out. I just hate clothes specifically.

Any ideas how I can change that? I'd rather not hate something so trivial that I have to do every day....

I get like that too, but only when I am really depressed. Then I mostly feel like I don't have a reason to get dressed. So why bother.

But once in a while, it is nice not to get dressed. Stay comfortable, hang out at home and enjoy a relaxing day. If you don't have to go anywhere it doesn't hurt anyone or anything.

SunReach - I am like that also. I don't want to get dressed when I am depressed. It seems like it is just too much to do for me. It takes such effort. I like to get into my lounging PJ's as soon as possible in the evening. It is just so cozy for me. Especially on a winters night when it is snowing out. I like to have them on and cuddle under a fuzzy blanket. It is very comforting!

It's PJs where possible for me. I know what you mean, though, it's not so much the act of getting dressed but the actual clothes. WhenI was depressedI was actually sort of scared of clothes because I'd lost the ability to buy them, care about them, wear them nicely etc. So they just reinforced, in my head, what a loser I was compared to everyone else.

I'm doing better with it now, but still not there yet.

I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions of how to get past this, except the following slightly weird one : if you don't mind putting PJs on, maybe you could look out for clothes that feel like PJs...? Don't ask me what, but, you know, something that is comfy and non-threatening to you. I don't know how realistic that is, but could it be your actual current wardrobe which is off-putting to you?

Thank you all

Beebizzy, what you say makes sense. I also hate shopping for clothes and I think it is all somehow related to being afraid of them because they are linked to so many other things...Including the outside world that actually scares me at all times, but it is when I'm depressed that I don't have the energy to overcome that fear..
I have been trying to change my wardrobe over the past few months as everything feels uncomfortable, and there are a few things that are better than others (skirts instead of jeans) But there are times I get this 'itchy' feeling even with pyjamas and the only remedy is to just sit under the shower for a while..to feel like there is nothing on me, not even my own skin..That's what makes me think there isn't much wrong with specific clothes...But in my head..I hope all that doesn't sound too weird

well, this is one of the reasons I hate winters. Layers of clothes to run out and get a bread, whereas in summer I can simply slip into a dress and go?

I don't even own pair of PJs though. I have dorm couture/travel clothes.... clothes that can be slept in. Or I simply sleep in undies and t-shirt............. which forces me to get dress, because I cannot walk around half nakes. Too cold. And in dorms to I lived too populated.

But I have different problem actually.... when normal/on upswing, I just put on whatever and go, unless I want to care. WHen down........... it takes me hours. I need the right clothes. The right make up. Make me hair right. Even when going to store. People always say I look great when i am in the deepest depths of low.

I have clothing issues with refusing to buy them unless absolutely necessary when I don't like the way my body looks. As if ignoring the way I look eliminates the problem, which is not true. I dress pretty poorly most of the time (jeans and whatever) but it's not inappropriate for me because I work from home and as a grad student, no one judges based on attire - my goal is just to look a bit better than the undergrads. (omg, tights are not pants!!!) But if I don't get dressed I feel like I've been bad somehow - it's just not acceptable for me to sit around in PJs all day, and it only happens if I'm sick.

Actually, it's 9 AM here and I'm still in my PJs and that's enough to be irritating to me. I guess it's the ritual of getting myself put together for the day - if I'm not dressed, I can't really do anything but lie around in my PJs, so not getting dressed makes me very uncomfortable because it's like somehow admitting defeat.

SunReach, I could have written this post myself. Getting dressed or changing clothes is so difficult for me to do.

The only time I enjoy changing clothes after I take a shower. I basically live in my pj's and, like you, I am able to change pj's to another pair, but to get dressed in reg. clothes is so difficult for me to do.

Why are we like that?

I think the hankster is getting set in her ways, and those ways are not good ones. not to mention getting left behind. we haven't even really resolved the shower conflict, and people are moving on to clothes already??? plus right now somebody is HAMMERING, so I guess I will get out of bed!

SunAngel, the only thing I can say is that clothes feel like pressure...I always struggle more with bottoms, I guess it's trickier to fit properly so that doesn't help...But also I think they've come to stand for a general discomfort about things...Like a mould I need to fit in. Even if it's a mould that I created for myself! They're my clothes after all..
Regardless of sizes and all... I think the fact that pyjamas are pretty neutral size/style wise and all, helps...

I think next time I go shopping I'll aim for something that I could sleep in.

I'm sort of in the opposite dilemma. I don't want to get into my PJs. Maybe it's that it's winter and I don't want to take off my warm clothes to put on cold pajamas (though I suppose I could put them in the dryer first - waaay too much effort...). Maybe it's that I have to get up early to get my kids off to school and the thought, again, of getting out of clothing and putting on cold clothes is just depressing, especially at 6:30 in the morning. So I've just been sleeping in my clothes. Sort of gross, I know. I change them every other day, but that's about all I can manage right now. Showers have also been a bit of a challenge. The hair washing I can handle, but showers? A couple of times a week maybe. I'm probably getting depressed actually, so that's not helping much. But if I don't absolutely have to go out, I don't, so it's not like I have anybody to impress.

how do you wash hair while not taking a shower?

I used to wash it in the sink, but it's much longer now, so I turn the shower on and just put my head in and wash it with my head upside down. I lived for five years in a house with no shower. We just had a big old fashioned tub, so I got really good at just washing my hair since I really need to wash it every day.

Upside down! It's much easier if one has a showerhead on a hose, though it's still upside down. I do this sometimes. Just the tub faucet. Sometimes wonder if practically standing on my head is worth not taking a shower, but that doesn't necessarily stop me.

Not too weird. I went through a spell of ditching a bunch of clothes for their "unwearability". Fit, fine, color, fine, style, fine, so??? They just irritated me. Too loud. Sound-wise. Not that they were that loud, it just became mentally intolerable. Soooo, it was in my head. If that is weird, we shall be weird together.
Yup. I've got a quirk that if I don't have shoes on, I can't get anything done. I feel bad about myself if I'm sitting around in PJs too much. Doesn't stop me though... when I'm depressed, having nowhere to go, etc It's horribly unmotivating. I used to take much more care about how I dressed, but with nowhere to go, nothing to do, and about zippo chance of running into anyone, there doesn't seem much point. I DO like putting something together when I do do it though.
And you are so right: tights are NOT pants! Yikes.

at times i find getting dressed difficult. it seems the more i focused on each item i needed to put on, things would get twisted, and it just seemed hard. for me, if i just do it , it works better than struggling with it.

For me ...its all about the 40 lbs I have put on since last march/ april due to bipolar meds ... I finally broke down and bought a larger pair of black pants because I could NOT fit in any of my other jeans .. Im unable to work and honestly the only place I go is to see my Therapist weekly ... Proior to this weight gain everyone including my doctors said I was way too thin ( eyeroll ) personally I didnt / dont think so.. Ill live in denial about my anorexia at least until I lose this weight.
I do spent most of my time in PJ's no need to wear " real clothes if im sitting here online~

okay, it's good to know there's a shower issue (must have been before I started on PC). taking a shower is such a drag for me and if I'm not going anywhere, I don't. I also don't put on "real" clothes if I don't have to. jammies all day for me today. good thing I have a job--that forces me to shower and put on clothes. I feel better in my work clothes but the first thing I do when I get home is put on my jammies. lame.

I love my pajamas. If I can avoid it I'll even go shopping or whatever in my pajamas. They're just so much more comfortable.

Strangely enough, showers are better for me because I am certain that I will feel better after the shower. (Even at those times that I will hate being in it, if I'm really bad..) But the clothes..You put them on, you keep them on for hours at a time...

My in-laws don't have a shower in the bathroom I use at their place, so I wash my hair under the faucet with the aid of a cup. Much faster and easier than a full bath!

When I'm hiking, I use our "kitchen sink" with a cup to wash hair every few days. It's a bad bad bad thing to get soap in the lakes anyway, biodegradable or not, it's still a pollutant.

Otherwise, it actually seems like more work to me to just do hair than to jump into the shower - hard on the back and neck for bending over since my hair is long and takes forever to rinse that way. Plus hubby and I shower together (we always have) to save water and get a nice back scrub out of it, so the little bit of intimacy is a good motivator to get into the shower.

I always get dressed, but I almost never like it. It may be a body issue (I have an average frame, but I always feel fat. Curse of being my age and gender.). Comfort also is an issue. I think that the greatest reason why I do not enjoy getting dressed, however, is the pressure to put together an outfit and look good. I have certain clothes that I always wear together, which lessens the pressure. But then I have to worry about people judging me for always wearing the same things! And they probably don't even notice, lol.

I often sleep in my clothes. I lay down for some reason late at night, and end up falling asleep. It's almost never intentional.

I'd lose my balance, fall, and get seriously injured if I tried that.

Hi! I feel the same a lot and I'm trying to change that. I've realized that it's not me or you that has a problem with our self esteem or whatever which is what I always thought - your hate for clothes specifically proves that. It's the clothes' fault.

Most of the clothes I have I bought because they are pretty but really they are not very comfortable, don't make me feel good about myself, aren't ideal for my body shape and don't go well with my comfy bras and undies. And then so often the bottoms I want to wear don't have an appropriate top that is comfy and makes me feel pretty. And the tops I'd be happy to wear only go with all the bottoms I hate. Like jeans - I really don't like wearing jeans.

I think we can change this by talking more about our clothes, helping each other, getting away from what fashion pushes at us and focussing on what makes us feel beautiful, comfortable, and inspired to get up and make the most of the day.

So as I was saying, I'm trying to change this depressing routine of getting changed and having 'nothing to wear' by being smarter about what I buy and if I succeed, I'd like to help others who have the same frustrations. I was also thinking of making some clothes because I like to sew.

The first step is some research which is why I'm here. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind telling me what you think your body shape is and what pieces of clothing you feel the most pretty in. And if you like - which pieces of clothing make you feel the most unlovely. That would be super helpful for my quest I really want to get out of this frustration and if I can, help other women along the way.

All the best with choosing what to wear and if you like I'll keep you updated on my findings

xx

Hi Beebizzy

I really liked your suggestion of wearing something that feels like PJs ..."comfy and non-threatening". That's a really cool way of putting it.

For me, I basically live in comfy sports bras that are still really supportive and also mostly exercise clothes. When I'm feeling down I especially find it difficult to make the effort to do my hair and get changed but a pair of tights, sports bra and long shirt is the most comfy thing and still appropriate for wearing out - depending on the top. Sports clothes are as comfy or more comfy than PJs to me but make me feel prettier and happier I find. I think it's that tights are just so comfy and with a long sweater that covers my bum or a tunic or short dress I feel super comfy and a bonus of quite pretty too. I find it much easier to get dressed now that I've purposefully added a lot more long tops to my wardrobe that are appropriate with tights.

Tights are like my secret weapon for conquering the day. I hope this helps someone

Getting out of pjs is tough. Showering is another toughie when I'm depressed. You're not alone.

I find clothes to be irritating in general. Like severely irritating. Some days a shirt will feel "ok" and other days it's like they're trying to choke me out. I hate it. I would happily move to a nudist camp. Not what you experience but same ball park.

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