[ultrarapidcycling]

Allright this is the 3rd time i keep typing this out and i get logged out and it gets lost so.I'm throwing this out there to give hope.Ive had major depression for 24 years straight.Im bipolar 1 ultra rapid cycling at times.6o seconds mania where i was about to drive ANYWHERE.Then 60secs hate/rage then 60secs love with tears then 60 secs sad depression with tears.Then i repeated that 4 min "set" 2 more times-so 12 x in 12 mins.Thats the worst and usually its just back in forth in a day.Other times ive been stuck in mania for months.Technically ive been either major depression or mixed episode when the mania kicks on since the depression never leaves.Ive gone 4 days without food water or sleep and had my blood starting to clot.Which leads to visual and auditory hallucinations and psychotic delusions.Ive slept for more then 24 hours straight.Paced madly for hours.Had my whole brain entrained to misery and throbbing with it and wanting to die.Running through every nerve system in my body until every cell in my body is DONE with life.Ive had waves of electrical type energy start from the back of my head and roll over my entire body ion the surface of my skin.I can induce it at will and ive had it deeper in my nervous system.I told my family members not too long ago-I;m almost done-i cant take it anymore.They dont understand what its taken to get this far and why the love of family isnt enough for me to go on.
I went online and read on a bunch of bp forums and even back over old threads.I saw 1 or 2 posts where someone said they cured themselves with vitamins supplements etc.I knew this was for me and i started reading up online.
I had alkready been using music around the clock to try and make myself feel better,even when i slept and it was working a little.I started taking amino acids essentials and then non essentials.That literally made a 50% reduction in my depression OVERNIGHT! I woke up it was like a miracle.I ended up taking alot more things 5htp-niacin-b12 complex-onositol-SAMe-thenanine-st johns wort-mega vitamins-vit c--gingko biloba-antioxidants-essential oils 3-6-9 with fatty acids-primrose oil and probiotics and some other stuff i cant remember off the top of my head.This mad another huge difference overngiht my mania and rapid cycling virtually disappearing!I felt serotonin in my brain in the first time since forever!
You have to push and fight for it mentally and keep it going.Its very easy for your brain to quickly go back to depression because its so familiar.I had 3 really good days and the 4th day was golden even my low level paranoia was gone! Unfortunately i was woken up the next day to an unnecessary arguement and it knocked me down but im gonna keep fighting until i win.
As my depression went down i noticed i started yawning and stretching hard and making noise.Wow i couldnt even remember doing that and had forgotten i did it until it it happened!.I eat healthy but before the aminos i would still crave a spoon full of sugar here and there even tho i hate sugar and dont drink soda or eat candy.When i was at my worst my sugar craving was high.When i started the aminos it dropped to just a little syrup on waffles or jelly on a sandwhich.When i added the rest of my vitamins oils etc even that dropped off.I felt my adrenal glands relaxing for the first time and stress hormones definitely went way down.When i wake up it takes me a few mins to get FULLY awake instead of just waking up with severe depression it seems looking back i never woke up fully.I dont get starving now and i eat because its time or im just barely hungry.This is NOT some mania induced euphoria-I am more NORMAL then ive ever been in a long time.My mania was way down and even when it was on i was able to go right to sleep.Some of what im taking especially aminos CANNOT be taken at the same time as meds due to serotonin syndrome poisoning.I wasnt on meds and im free to take what i felt i wanted to.Whatever works for everyone else,You have to fight in a positive direction mentally.There is nothing in my life that i can be more happy for-and yet im doing it!Everytime i get knocked down im gonna get up and keep going-it gets easier!

[ultrarapidcycling]

I'll throw this in too.I'm learning NOT to reinforce my mania.I was standing around the other day and i said "i'm in mania right now" and everyone was like WHAT???I focused it into just being happy and kept the speed down.I did a little pacing while i was eating but it wasn't pressured agitated pacing.I have alot of energy coming back.I was doing dishes and just keeping it calm,doing something else keeping calm.Driving and constantly checking that i was at or below the speed limit.Oddly enough i was rarely over,and even then not more then 2 or 3 miles above.
One of my friends told me one time she gets weird bad thoughts out of no where.Ok you have intrusive thoughts.So i told her turn it around and everytime she has one instead think of something good like her dog or anything else.A week later she tells me shes been doing it and it really works.I'm not saying its easy-its definitely possible to do and gets easier....
I told one of my relatives the other day.Im kinda missing my extreme bp already.But its so exhausting,i'm strong but its too much.I'm not one to get headaches.I never take aspirin or anything.Ive had some serious headaches breaking away from depression and going back somewhat.Its definitely a fight at times

[Rosie23]

I am trying to teach my youngest son this. He is 19 and 3 hours away at a trade school for disadvantaged and disabled kids operated by the Department of Urban Forestry. He is learning disabled (he reads on a 4th grade level) and socially phobic. (his dad has him on his insurance but won't send the child to a therapist to figure out exactly what is wrong-*rick)

Anyway, he always wants to come home. Poor kid. But finishing school is in his best interests and he knows that. He shares with me how he is feeling and I remind him about his self-talk.
To calm himself I always suggest things like picturing the beach. Not all the people and activity, just the beach, the waves and the sound of the ocean. He has been many times so it is not hard to do.

And the other is to remind himself that he is not in danger. He has food, shelter and clothing. (His environment is very strictly supervised. No drugs, alcohol, fighting or pranks or permitted. You will be expelled right now). All he needs to do is seek out his bay adviser. And of course I am a phone call, text away and 3 hours physically.
It does work for him. But it is easy for panic to overrun him and so we have lots of reminders.

[ultrarapidcycling]

Reminding yourself your not in danger thats a good one.People that worry about panicy type attacks end up bringing them on more.Its a bad cycle.Tell him other people do it and it works and it gets easier!

[ultrarapidcycling]

maybe i should have posted this thread in the "alternate therapies"?I'm breaking out of 24 years of major depression and severe bipolar disorder with vitamins supplements and positive force of will.Everyone around me knows im on to something.I had mania for a few days,normally im at category 10 and i held it easily at 1 which ive never even been close too.

[ultrarapidcycling]

if anyones interested in vits supplements etc www.raysahelian.com and www.holisticonline.com have a ton of info

[ultrarapidcycling]

and www.webmd.com

Originally Posted by ultrarapidcycling

Reminding yourself your not in danger thats a good one.People that worry about panicy type attacks end up bringing them on more.Its a bad cycle.Tell him other people do it and it works and it gets easier!

Reminding is good. I try to ride out some of my panic attacks (when practical) by repeating to myself, "This won't kill me. It only feels that way!" Lol. Despite years of effort using this and focused breathing, I've never been able to stop one, but it's still worthwhile. Bonus points for conserving meds.

[4ward]

thanks for your post. there are so many essential acid types, would you share what you're taking? is it still helping?? thanks, again.

Originally Posted by ultrarapidcycling

Allright this is the 3rd time i keep typing this out and i get logged out and it gets lost so.I'm throwing this out there to give hope.Ive had major depression for 24 years straight.Im bipolar 1 ultra rapid cycling at times.6o seconds mania where i was about to drive ANYWHERE.Then 60secs hate/rage then 60secs love with tears then 60 secs sad depression with tears.Then i repeated that 4 min "set" 2 more times-so 12 x in 12 mins.Thats the worst and usually its just back in forth in a day.Other times ive been stuck in mania for months.Technically ive been either major depression or mixed episode when the mania kicks on since the depression never leaves.Ive gone 4 days without food water or sleep and had my blood starting to clot.Which leads to visual and auditory hallucinations and psychotic delusions.Ive slept for more then 24 hours straight.Paced madly for hours.Had my whole brain entrained to misery and throbbing with it and wanting to die.Running through every nerve system in my body until every cell in my body is DONE with life.Ive had waves of electrical type energy start from the back of my head and roll over my entire body ion the surface of my skin.I can induce it at will and ive had it deeper in my nervous system.I told my family members not too long ago-I;m almost done-i cant take it anymore.They dont understand what its taken to get this far and why the love of family isnt enough for me to go on.
I went online and read on a bunch of bp forums and even back over old threads.I saw 1 or 2 posts where someone said they cured themselves with vitamins supplements etc.I knew this was for me and i started reading up online.
I had alkready been using music around the clock to try and make myself feel better,even when i slept and it was working a little.I started taking amino acids essentials and then non essentials.That literally made a 50% reduction in my depression OVERNIGHT! I woke up it was like a miracle.I ended up taking alot more things 5htp-niacin-b12 complex-onositol-SAMe-thenanine-st johns wort-mega vitamins-vit c--gingko biloba-antioxidants-essential oils 3-6-9 with fatty acids-primrose oil and probiotics and some other stuff i cant remember off the top of my head.This mad another huge difference overngiht my mania and rapid cycling virtually disappearing!I felt serotonin in my brain in the first time since forever!
You have to push and fight for it mentally and keep it going.Its very easy for your brain to quickly go back to depression because its so familiar.I had 3 really good days and the 4th day was golden even my low level paranoia was gone! Unfortunately i was woken up the next day to an unnecessary arguement and it knocked me down but im gonna keep fighting until i win.
As my depression went down i noticed i started yawning and stretching hard and making noise.Wow i couldnt even remember doing that and had forgotten i did it until it it happened!.I eat healthy but before the aminos i would still crave a spoon full of sugar here and there even tho i hate sugar and dont drink soda or eat candy.When i was at my worst my sugar craving was high.When i started the aminos it dropped to just a little syrup on waffles or jelly on a sandwhich.When i added the rest of my vitamins oils etc even that dropped off.I felt my adrenal glands relaxing for the first time and stress hormones definitely went way down.When i wake up it takes me a few mins to get FULLY awake instead of just waking up with severe depression it seems looking back i never woke up fully.I dont get starving now and i eat because its time or im just barely hungry.This is NOT some mania induced euphoria-I am more NORMAL then ive ever been in a long time.My mania was way down and even when it was on i was able to go right to sleep.Some of what im taking especially aminos CANNOT be taken at the same time as meds due to serotonin syndrome poisoning.I wasnt on meds and im free to take what i felt i wanted to.Whatever works for everyone else,You have to fight in a positive direction mentally.There is nothing in my life that i can be more happy for-and yet im doing it!Everytime i get knocked down im gonna get up and keep going-it gets easier!

[ultrarapidcycling]

The Vitamin Shoppe amino complex 1500mg.Plus additional tyrosine,glutamine,arginine,tryptophan,SAMe(s-adenosyl-l-methionine).I cut out 5htp,theanine,and st johns wort.My serotonin definitely went down after that but im still ok.From what i read the more your serotonin is up the more your dopamine is down and for guys this is gonna make a difference.At times i felt my serotonin was way up because of the 5htp i think,i felt ridiculously good all day.I almost thought i had serotonin poisoning i felt so good.I think evening primrose oil makes a huge difference for me.Except for the initial maybe 3 days of really low level mania that was easily controlled i havent had mania again which is pretty amazing.I still have a ways to go depression wise but ive come a long way in a pretty short time considering the length and severity of my depression.

Originally Posted by ultrarapidcycling

if anyones interested in vits supplements etc www.raysahelian.com and www.holisticonline.com have a ton of info

Here is another similar resource:

http://www.earthclinic.com/

[ultrarapidcycling]

INITIALLY it was just the amino complex 1500.

And thanks for the earthclinic link.Im gonna add my theanine back in.