All over the place -- making it difficult to assess true state

I am pretty sure it is a mixed state but where i am at mentally is just making it difficult. I think i may be over analyzing everything.

Manic symptoms:

racing thoughts
super excitement about a tattoo im getting (normally always in a manic episode)
cant focus
cant sleep at night (but still tired all day)
irritated

Depression symptoms:
lost hope (not suicidal lost hope in life, just in reaching goals)
extremely tired
reliving bad memories in my head even with stop thought exercises
lack of motivation

I am starting a company and this episode or whatever it is is ruining my ability to get anywhere. I am at the point where i just want the bipolar to stop i was doing so well for a long time and it all just set me back.

im not sure what to do but it is seriously to the point where i may just snap and lose everything.

any advice?

((((((( Hugs ))))))))

Sounds mixed or rapid cycling to me .. I hope things settle down for you and just remember to be kind to yourself .

It is time to contact your pdoc for a med adjustment.

cms, you're not alone. Many people with bipolar (myself included) agree that mixed states are the worst part of this illness.

It does sound to me like you are currently mixed. Stay strong and feel better soon!

I just went and they started me on buspar for anxiety. I was doing great until about 2 weeks ago. I know some stress triggered it, but it still seems so random because i was doing well for months.

thnx

I just wish they would find either a cure or some other way to not have the episodes be so controlling over my life.

thanks,

crys

It totally sucks to have this control our whole lives so you are not alone.
I had to go to pdoc Monday and get a Lithium increase, and more sleeping pills as I had the manic stuff you noted above.
He said it is really common when Spring starts to come for us to see an increase in symptoms. I know meds aren't the best answer, and who wants to take a bunch of pills, but I would call again and let them know the buspar has stopped working.
Sorry you feel this way.