[kj44]

I was recently changed from Lithium, to Topamax. Lithium left me with a rash on my face, and lots of weight gain. So my first week on Topamax, it was OK, but my blood pressure was running 110, on the bottom number. Then, all I could think about was suicide, for 3 days, I dealt with this. Now, I have stopped taking the Topamax, and I feel OK.I'm seriously thinking of going med free. Why not? This med change stuff is awful, just 3 days ago I was making suicide plans, now, I'm fine. I'm totally amazed at the difference in me. I know that I can become extremely depressed on my own, but why not take the chance without the meds?

[moremi]

Oh how I completely feel you on this one. I have decreased my tegretol because it did nothing but make me worse. I had a horrible rash on my back, still there but getting better. Im going off of it. I have to. I wish you all the luck too.

[BNLsMOM]

Topomax was the first med I ever took for bipolar. The first couple of weeks I felt like I was drunk or high, and ran around with so much energy to burn. I loved it. I remember one particular day when I went to the bank, I felt like I was moving in spurts of fast motion while the rest of the world moved slowly. It was actually cool.

After a couple of weeks, I started making plans for suicide, eventhough I didn't feel depressed or sad. Chances are I was mixed. (Three years later, my pdoc who I trust after going through several, has said that I rapid cycle with mixed episodes.)

I ended up in the hospital for my own safety.

Topomax was not the med for me.

[kj44]

BNLsMOM, thanks for that. Sounds pretty similar. I almost believe there is no med for me! Today is a good day, and, I'll take it. I sometimes think, I'm just not meant to be around for long. I'm scared, and confused, been at this for a while. Still trying to except who I am, and, that my life is different then others. Just came out of the hospital 6 months ago, don't really want to go back. I think we all just need a cabin on the beach, with lots of sunshine! Thanks