[Moose72]

Just that. Feeling unaccomplished and no good. Again. . I think people see me in terms of what have I done.

[~Christina]

((((((Moose))))))
Please know your a wonderful person that has a lot to offer ...
Just remember the feelings your having will go away ,, you have had alot of med changes recently .. Just hang in there.....

[BipolaRNurse]

This is the bipolar talking.......don't listen to it! You just turned 40, which tends to rattle a lot of people's cages because we look back at our lives around this time, and often find them wanting. You may even be comparing your accomplishments to what you expected from yourself and where you think you should be at this turning point in your life.....and that is almost always a mistake.

I know---I've done it. I did it at age 30, then again at 40. The good news is, by 50 it doesn't matter anymore, because we are at another whole stage of development and outside appearances just aren't as important anymore. Hang in there....better days ARE coming!

[BuggsBunny]

I'm sorry Moose. It's a bad feeling to have, huh? But you aren't worthless/useless/or wasting your life. We value you here on PC. That hasn't been a waste of your time. Stop and think of the lives you have touched with yours, you were useful to each one of those lives, even if only for a few minutes. Stick with us, we care for you!

[BlackPup]

I agree with BuggsBunny you are valued here and you touch all our lives in a positive way by your contributions to this forum. I think society values what we "accomplish" rather than the relationships that we have with people. Don't be hard on yourself, don't forget that BP messes with the way we think.

[ManicDad]

Ditto everything everyone else has said. You are a valuable person and a good person. Bipolar is trying to make you think you're not but it's a liar.

I go through this all the time with myself too Moose. Especially when birthdays are close. When I'm feeling like this tho, usually I'm overlooking almost everything I have done, plus meassuring my accomplishments against others. usually I'm only looking at accomplishments in terms of money, career and things like that when I'm feeling this way. You know the things that won't really matter so much when I'm gone. When I'm gone people aren't going to say "well she didn't have much money so.. Pfft".

Try to remind your self of all the things you have done, even write them down. I can think of a few things off the top of my head you've done... You've helped people here, you make people laugh and smile, you are a good mom that spends time with your kids, you take Judo and singing lessons, your battling bipolar- you're still here... Success!!! I'm sure you have way more than that. It's easy to forget those things, but those are the things that count most.

Don't be to hard on yourself Moose, You are doing stuff that's important.

[Irreplaceable]

IA with others who referenced turning a certain age as probably contributing to these thoughts. When I turned 30, I had them. "Look at me, I'm not this or that. I don't have this or that. I haven't accomplished this or that." I think that's just a natural reaction to hitting a milestone age. Not to downplay how you are feeling, but I think a lot, or at least some of it, has to do with you turning 40. The older I get, the wiser and smarter I get. Yea someone else may have what I don't but so what. I find comfort in striving to be where I want to be, and realize that while some may have more than me, I have more than a lot of people my age. I can't complain. Is what it is....

[Moose72]

I just seemed to have messed my life up into such a small corner that I'm doomed to repeat this horrible mess forever.

[Moose72]

Day without horrid family members = better but still blah.

[bipolarmedstudent]

Just wanted to say I feel like this all the time. I have always felt like this. It's an awful feeling, I know.

[SmokeyPoole2012]

Terrible, terrible, terrible those thoughts of self loathing. Seems like I'm constantly fighting back those feelings (when I'm not trying to convince the world I'm superman) pulling myself out of bed and doing something constructive.

Don't know if I have any advise other then 'Your worthy of more than you currently feel'. Hope you feel better in the future here's a hug. pass it around.

[Moose72]

Maybe it is that I've just turned 40 but I guess I got the important things done- like my kids.