[Road_to_recovery]

I'm in a bad place! I found out I'm pregnant about a month ago. Thankfully I found out super early (3-4 weeks) so I instantly quit my lithium. I'm off everything else (lamictal, clonidine,). Although I have been taking about 5mg ambien about 1-2x per week. But I'm almost out, I have 5 left.

I'm so terrified and feel so put of control. I had an IUD in and we had no intention of more kids. I'm trying to be happy about this pregnancy but I'm so so miserable. I can't function, simple things like cleaning and walking the dog seem so overwhelming. It's the lack of sleep. My primary doctor said unisom & Tylenol pm are ok but the don't seem to be helping much.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I'm not looking for medical advice... Just wondering if someone else has been in my shoes. Did you stay medicated through your pregnancy or no? The psychiatrist I had been seeing gave me a recommendation to a psychiatrist that specializes in pregnancy but I haven't made an appointment yet. It's a ways away from where I live. I know I need to. I feel like I'm sinking! Everything is too much.

[Babymonster]

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I am currently 6 months pregnant. Although this pregnancy was planned it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I don't mean the physical part (everything has been running along a-ok).

I had to start medication again after 10+ years of self coping (somewhat successfully). I am currently taking 20 mg of cipralax (sp?) and have been taking it for almost the entire duration of my pregnancy.

Possible trigger:

Started self harming again due to

Pretty severe depression and anxiety that I had never felt with such intensity before (none of which relate to the idea of the baby or being pregnant - in fact I often forget that I am). I couldn't function at work and am currently still on disability.

I have not and cannot get anything done around the house.
My FIL has been cooking all the suppers and doing the dishes, the dogs haven't been walked (I won't say how long because I am super embarrassed). I spend a lot of time sleeping and can't even summon the energy to talk to people outside of my home (even a simple phone call)

Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to show you that you are not alone and wherever you are right now is OK. My councillor told me to notice the "shoulds" that I put on myself and it was really helpful to me. Once I started to notice how much pressure I was putting on myself (and it was ridiculous how many times I noticed myself thinking those "should" thoughts) I just allowed myself to be where I was. It didn't help with the cleaning or improve my depression, but I was able to find a bit of relief none the less.

Omg I wrote you a novel. I'm here if you ever need someone to pregnant vent to

[Crazy Hitch]

Hang in there road to recovery

I'm not going to lie and say my pregnancies were easy.

But I am going to tell you please hang in there and surround yourself with support strategies to uplift you and carry you through.

This is an amazing journey and life shall be its prize.

[Road_to_recovery]

Thank you both. I'm terrified! But I will make an appointment to try to get some help assp

[Capriciousness]

Hey! I can write you a novel. I don't have time now but will say what I can and come back. I will come back.

Quickly now I have three kids. My baby is was born in December. I stayed on my lamictal the whole pregnancy and took my klonopin as needed.

I was soooo sick my first trimester and had a couple weeks of pretty brutal depression. The first trimester is horrible even not bipolar. Between the hormones messing without your head and the nausea and the fatigue and oh my it is hideous.

It's probably going to get better. Possibly a whole lot better. For me the sun always starts coming out around 12-14 weeks.

You can do this.

Let's keep in touch. We can talk sleep dep and breastfeeding and all that fun stuff.

For right now. Take a breath. This is one of the toughest parts. Hang in there.

[Capriciousness]

I took melatonin the whole time. Still do. I also have blue blocked shades I wear in the evenings

I was fine during my pregnancies. But I think I was more bipolar 2 at that point. I went off meds. Afterwards i went back on anti-depressants. This was before I had any mania.

It would be very hard to handle during pregnancy. You must be pretty tough. Good luck.

[Road_to_recovery]

Thanks. My current psychiatrist recommended latuda. I tried it once and it didn't seem to work, but it is category B so I'm thinking about giving it another shot.

[Sunnyhunny00]

It's after the pregnancy that hit me hard. I got PPD really really bad. Definitely make plans for after the birth incase it gets bad.
Hang in there!!

And remember, there are always shifts in hormones during the different trimesters. So, you may just feel a better as your pregnancy progresses.

[raspberrytorte]

I so can relate! We hadn't intended on having kids at all and than four years ago SURPRISE I got pregnant. I was miserable and depressed. Luckily it happened right after I'd weaned myself off my lamictal. I just had to stop taking my alprazolam. I was so sick and anxious. My doctor put me on 25mg of sertraline (which I was weary about because that stuff made me manic the first time I was put on it, but I didn't know what to do because I was so depressed and anxious!). It didn't make me manic. It just helped with my depression and anxiety (maybe because of all the pregnancy hormones?). Anyway, so than things weren't as bad. I admittedly regret taking it now because our daughter is delayed and I blame that, but at the time both my ob and psychiatrist said it was safe, and my pdoc said it would have been worse if I was depressed.

Anyway, totally relate. It'll be okay though.

Also, I got PPD really bad after she was born, so as another poster recommended make sure you have a plan for afterwards.