[JsterJ]

Hi y'all. I'm fairly (read: really) new here and some of my symptoms have got me scared. My docs think I have bipolar (not really specific about the type, but I haven't been seeing them long) and have put me on Abilify, which has taken care of 90% of everything.

The one thing that has me truly worried is one of my symptoms coming back. I cried the other day when I though about how it made me feel.

The last time I had a really bad episode (bad for me, anyway, which as I understand was on the light end of the spectrum), while my mind was racing and part of me wanted to touch people and be all over people and cheat on my boyfriend, the part of me that I consider to be me (as it is how I am when I'm normal-feeling and depressed), is saying "no, don't do this. This is scary. I don't want to be here. I want to go away and I don't want people to see me like this." The scary part is, I can't act on those feelings. The feelings of needing to be around people and doing things and standing on tables and such is so strong that it overpowers everything except those feelings of being trapped.

I just wanted to get that out there and see if anyone else has ever felt anything like that.

If it helps, I also have some paranoid/anxiety leanings that should go away given time and space.

[Moose72]

Oh definitely! I know I'm very hypomania at that point if not manic.

[JsterJ]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Oh definitely! I know I'm very hypomania at that point if not manic.

What do you do when you get like that. It's horrifying. It feels like I'm trapped in a nightmare except it's real and I can't just wake up.

[moremi]

Originally Posted by JsterJ

What do you do when you get like that. It's horrifying. It feels like I'm trapped in a nightmare except it's real and I can't just wake up.

Be sure that you are surrounded by loved ones that you trust and not people who could take advantage of the way you are feeling. This can easily get out of control before you know it. You can easily do things you will regret tomorrow without even knowing your doing anything wrong at all in the moment. Just be around safe people and call your pdoc. Keep us posted. Hugs to ya

[johnf22881]

The symptoms you are dealing with are very familiar to me. I have experienced them more often than not when in relationships. I rapid cycle and deal with many periods of mania or hypomania, giving life to those thoughts and emotions. I wish I was strong enough not to act on them, but I did and destroyed a dozen relationships by giving in.

I really think you are strong enough not to give in because you have the sense to talk about them without acting on them. As long as you realize these symptoms/thoughts are not what you want to do, you're ahead of the game.

Good Luck