[cherybery]

I hope this post finds you ALL well. I have a question about working and being Bipolar. I was diagnosed, pretty close to a year from now, Bipolar. I have a VERY difficult time holding a job. I have never been fired but throughout my working career I feel the need to quit. I get paranoid about being fired because of my "episodes", some days I just cannot get out of bed so I miss alot of work. The longest I have ever held a job is close to a year. There are many days I feel I am going to snap. Sorry my question has turned into a ramble, but does anyone else here have trouble sticking to a job or is it just me?
Thank you!
Cher

[Rebound]

First, welcome.

No, you aren't alone in this, for sure. I admit to the same difficulty. Historicly, I usually last about two years in a given job (on average). I see the inevitable pattern each time, I start to miss time, the effort to avoid missing any more causes more problems, and I eventually leave (or in a couple of cases get let go) since I can't handle it anymore at that time.

I know how hard that is. As it happens I am very close to quitting my job. I'm getting more and more confrontational at work, and that is just not me. Suffice it to say I am having some issues with a couple of co-workers and the anxiety is really getting to me.

I wish I could suggest a solution. If you find one, send it my way will ya? lol

But seriously, my only advice is to get what ever treatment you find effective. If your current treatment is not working, seek an alternative through your doctor. That's about all you can do. Well, that and practice techniques for reducing stress. I have a lot of trouble practicing what I preach, though, so please consider this advice in the spirit it is intended. I'm not doing any better, I just hope you can find it helpful.

When you have those days when then entire world seems to be covered in pitfalls, looking to trip you up at every step, you can either choose not to take a step, or you can tread carefully and find your way. It's hard, I know, because you don't know what will happen, but I'd like to think it can be done. Some days, I feel so hyper, all nervous energy with no focus, and some how when I get to work, that's all converted into tension, anxiety, and agression. But other days, I manage to find "my happy place" lol and it doesn't seems so bad.

[cherybery]

Thank you Rebound! I actually am thinking of looking for a job less stressful as well as PT. Sometimes I think it may just be burnout on my career on top of the Bipolar. I always thought it would be fun to get out of my career for a while and work at Home Depot! I am sure my OCD would benefit from some discounted home improvement tasks

I am newly diagnosed.
I have had the same situation my whole life. To a t.
work for a few months - a year, then start slipping.

Lately times have been bad, and I was missing so much time that I literally have taken myself off work for 12 weeks to do therapy and just relax. I had to. There are days when I wake up and I just cannot force myself to go out that door, and I will CRY and CRY and CRY because I try so hard to force myself. And then I end up staying home, and stressing out all day because I feel bad for not going in, and its a vicious cycle.

[cherybery]

Thank you for replying Ranbow. I actually went into work today and told them I needed to go PRN...in otherwords I work when I want. I will lose all my benefits but the the only doc I see is a pdoc which I would be paying out of pocket anyways. I just had to do it. When I talked to my boss I started to cry because I truly love my job but I know my limitations and at this point I am way beyond my boundaries.
HUGS
Cher

[PlanningtoLive]

I'm glad it worked out for you. I have the same problem, just got my yearly review by the way and I have to really force myself just to go to work. I thought it was just me.

Thank goodness it is my bipolar and not me cracking up. I take so many Clonazapam to keep the stress level manageable during the day..........<sigh>.

Anyway, thanks for sharing.

Mary Alice

[CelticCatnip]

Due to the combination of my diagnosies, I was ordered not to work by my Psychiatrist and am now on disability. But I won't let it become permanent. I sure wish you the best with everything.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
PlanningtoExist said:
I'm glad it worked out for you. I have the same problem, just got my yearly review by the way and I have to really force myself just to go to work. I thought it was just me.

Thank goodness it is my bipolar and not me cracking up. I take so many Clonazapam to keep the stress level manageable during the day..........<sigh>.

Anyway, thanks for sharing.

Mary Alice

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

yup.

thats me too, even with the clonazepam.

Wow. This is ringing so so so so true for me.

Wow.
Hugs everyone.

[PlanningtoLive]

My symptoms are getting worse all the time. I get the urge to just run and get away from work. Nothing triggers it, just happens and escalates. The clonazepam is the only thing that keeps me employed. Sometimes I can't get up and go in so I call in sick. Unfortunately, I've used all my sick time up now and can't afford not to go in.

This is the longest I've stayed at a job in a very long time. Every day I wonder if it will be my last.

Mary Alice

[cherybery]

TY all for your replies! I hear you Mary. I will get almost a claustrophobic feeling. Like there is a large amount of structure and control and I cannot stay within the lines, if that makes any sense. I tend to use up my sick time pretty quick too when I have it at work as well.

WELL.

I just got GOOOOOOOOD NEWS

My work, who said they couldnt grant a leave of abscence for 12 weeks, i just called for a record of employment and well they said they CAN now. I will have a job to go back to after all!!!

[Lexicon78]

Although I am not dx'd as bipolar, I struggle so much with getting and then keeping a job. Sure I've been fired but I've also quit a lot, too.

I'm the type that is very good at my job, but when I screw up, I screw up BIG TIME. So then they fire me. Either that or a lot of the time my days run into each other and I have a hard time figuring out what day is what...and then I stay home thinking it's an off day when really I'm supposed to be working...then again I get fired.

Sometimes I will get so overwhelmed with working that I have to quit. It's very frustrating, too. I think my longest job has been 6 months or so. If I need to quit a job or am fired, I usually have become suicidal, too.

Like for some reason, I start to get suicidal after only 1-3 months of working. I don't even have a clue why, either. So, of course, I quit that job. I think I've only had one job that I didn't quit, wasn't fired, and didn't get suicidal at...it was a seasonal job so I had to find another job for the winter but it was really nice.

[PlanningtoLive]

It makes perfect sense to me........it's that smothering sensation that does it to me.

Today it started this morning and then the HR guy at my job called me into his office asking me what was going on. I couldn't tell him exactly why, so I just said that I was going into the hospital at the end of the month and then things should be better. That seemed to satisfy him.

At least Rainbow you got a 12 week leave. I wish I could afford to do that - I had to work my hospital stay around days off from one week to the next so I don't lose any money. All my dosages have been increased and I'm hoping this anxiety thing will work itself out in the hospital.

<sigh>

[Rebound]

I hope this posting finds you all doing a little better. Who ever invented working for a living sure gets my vote as the poopiest pooper that ever pooped lol....

Lex, I sure hear ya. I may last longer but the end result is pretty much the same. Sorry to hear it. I try to find things where I am not really around others that much and that seems to help a little.

Planning & Rainbow, I am glad you were able to work something out with your employers although it will obviously still be a difficult struggle. I wish you all the best.

[cherybery]

Thats great to hear Rainbow!

[28andforward]

Just want to say TY to all of you. Years ago, my son just up and quit his job, and refused to look for another (or hardly leave house), which all just left me flabbertgasted!!!! Since then he has changed jobs quite a bit. He has held this job a long time for him But he has been diagnosed BP and is on meds. Tho I certainly suspected all of this quitting and changing jobs was part of the BP, all of your comments fit his past perfectly. Thank you for being so open; it helps me so much to try to understand him.
He recently took a cut in pay in order to change depts; I am assuming that could be the result of BP...............

[PlanningtoLive]

It's really hard to have anything stable when you are bipolar. Something always seems to be out of whack somehow.

My meds control most of the problems but my depression from it has escalated - enough that I'm going into the hospital soon. I am in constant touch with my pdoc as he is afraid of me ODing.

Maybe his change of dept is less stressful for him, which always a good thing with us. I wish him the best of luck.

Mary Alice

[Rebound]

Strangely enough, I sometimes find that what is required is change of any kind. It may not even matter what, precisely. Whether I move, or quit/change jobs, or some other thing, it sometimes seems I just absolutely have to change something or I'll explode.

Mainly, though, as you said, PTE, it's just plain hard to maintain any stability most of the time.