[Confusedinomicon]

Just out of curiosity I am wondering what was happening in your life when you were first diagnosed as having bipolar disorder.

I was 19. I had a toxic friend and was dating my boyfriend long-distance. My roommate in the dorm told me that she didn't want to be my roommate anymore after the year ended. I had moments throughout the year where I would cry and I was pretty lonely. This happened when I transitioned from high school to a university. I ended up seeing a psychologist and later a psychiatrist at my school. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It escalated as the situation between the toxic friend got worse. Then my (then) pdoc recommend I be hospitalized and I left uni for a few months.

Ironically, I would not have been diagnosed if it weren't for the toxic friend who I'm not friends with anymore.

[irishgirliexo]

I had taken myself off of Abilify for being diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. I was pressured at work to get more work done and work more hours. Being on Celexa had probably caused my mania to be worse than it was. I could tell something was going wrong so I signed myself in to the hospital and was wondering if I had Bipolar Disorder. Was Diagnosed with Bipolar I and left with Celexa and Topomax. Came back a week later with worsening symptoms. Was taken off Celexa and Topomax and started on new meds. This all started in May of 2011.

[SeekerofLight]

There are times, I believe, when our moods are situation. I think it's perfectly normal to have depression and anxiety when making such a drastic change. Add to that a toxic friend, and I'm sure you were feeling very confused.

I also had a lot going on in my life when I was diagnosed. My daughter was diagnosed as bipolar at about 6 years of age, and put on massive amounts of drugs. I'm regretting that now, because seriously, how can anyone know at that age? I worry about what the drugs did to her growing brain. She was finally dx'd with Aspergers and is not on any medication.

I wasn't dx'd until I was 39. Looking back over my life I had all the symptoms, the hypersexuality, inability to commit to anything, compulsive shopping, periods of depression as well as periods of great activity. I blindly took those mind-numbing drugs for 9 years. After gaining 50 pounds I went off my antipsychotic cold turkey and switched to Topomax to lose weight. It was a disaster that landed me in the hospital.

Two years later, I decided to try again. With the help of my new pdoc, we slowly weaned me off of my antipsychotic and 5 weeks later I'm doing great!

Looking back, a lot of my behaviour can be attributed to the way I was raised and trauma. Am I really bipolar? I have my doubts. I've had many years of therapy and am now in control of my actions.

You may indeed be bipolar, but I think therapy should be your first line of action, rather than medication. It has come to my attention that bipolar is becoming a very common diagnosis. It kills me that we are medicating our children. I do suffer from major depression and take an antidepressant. As far as mania goes, for me it was just a happy feeling where I had a lot of energy. I always slept at night and never had hallucinations of any kind.

Good luck to you. Tell me more about how you are feeling.

[jaxter23]

When I was officially diagnosed, I had just graduated from college and my whole life was thrown upside down. Everything changed! I moved home and lost most of the freedom I came to know in college. I didn't know very many people that lived close to me and my best friend and I were on thin ice with each other. I thought I was just depressed, but the fact that some days I was fine threw me off. It had been suspected that I was bipolar when I was a senior in college cuz no one ever knew what I'd do next. I was on a crazy rollercoaster of emotions that tore my relationships apart, and yet some days I was a perfectly normal 21 yr old. At the time my drinking was out of control too, so that probably made things worse.

I started having psychosis at age 11, when I finally talked to my parents about it, they put their hands on me and prayed, spoke in tounges and cast the devil out, yes that's how my parents dealt with things. I had depression my while childhood, saw counsellors starting at age 5. I slowly just stopped talking to my parents. When I was a teen and homeless I began having servere mania and the psychosis continued. So I had multiple suicide attempts by 17. When I was 17 I got put in a semi independent foster home, I was also raped shortly before, so my foster mom got me into a therapist, then psychiatrist. Then I was quickly dx with bipolar 1. That's kinda of a quick version but that's pretty much what was going on. I was having a lot of mania with psychosis. At one point I tried to get the police involved when I was psychotic, I thought a girl was going to kill me, I put myself in some dangerous situations because of the psychosis. I wish I would have been able to get help sooner.

The psychiatrist put me on sleeping pills ( can't remember what they were) and Prozac alone. I ended up having severe psychosis and I quit taking meds immediately, that really put me off seeking anymore treatment.

When I got dx again at 27 I was very manic for the last 9 months of college and then I hit an extremely bad depression, given my history I was dx with bipolar 1 again very quickly. I smartened up at that point and stopped being in denial that I was mentally ill.

[Trippin2.0]

Symptomatic since age 15, but my mom convinced me I was just weak. Treated for depression at 25 by a gp after my brother was murdered, but things just got worse, the rollercoaster was at it's wildest yet. A few months later my dad died and my depression got so bad I was psychotic. Went to a pdoc who dxd me bp2 on the spot.

[Confusedinomicon]

I actually see a therapist every few months and I don't really need it. When I see him we talk about things I'm doing and I ask him about occupational stuff. Sometimes he talks to me about things I can do to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

I've never had problems with sleep, but I've had problems with delusions. Even after my BP diagnosis, for a whole year I went to my doc every 1-2 weeks with maybe 3 weeks in-between. I did some CBT work (maybe 2 months?) and started to practice some more alternative lifestyle/positive thinking stuff that's helped.

[Secretum]

I was nearing the end of my freshman year of college when I was diagnosed. For years I had dealt with depression and mild psychosis, though I didn't know it. I just thought that I was a weak person...The depression eventually got to the point where I decided to get help for it. I started seeing a therapist weekly, and soon I was referred to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar II. I went home for the summer and saw another psychiatrist, who agreed with the bipolar II diagnosis. My parents insisted that I see another psychiatrist, who was recommended by my primary care doc, who again confirmed the diagnosis.

There wasn't anything particularly stressful going on in my life when I was first diagnosed, other than the stresses of adjusting to college. My first depression at age 12 may have been triggered by stress, however; I had had surgery that summer, and my best friend distanced herself from me when I returned to school. Soon it seemed that no one was interested in being my friend, though that may have been a delusion.

[Victoria'smom]

DH made me go to the GP because my ED was getting bad. My GP dx me with depression. After a med change I got serverly suicidal and stopped all medication. A couple months later I had to change GP and he asked If I was still taking my depression meds. I told him I didn't need them, as I was bouncing in my chair. He dx. me bipolar 2 and sent me to a pdoc. Pdoc dx. me w/ mood disorder NOS & ED NOS. We moved new Pdoc. current Dx. Bipolar 1 w/ manic psychoses and ED NOS. It was rather uneventful. I was younger then 8 when I got on this roller coaster.

As for medicating children. My son had his first true suicide attempt at age 7. We had try cognitive therapy, karate, and home schooling for less stress. He continued picking at his skin. When we moved the GP talked directly to him. Then referred us to an ADHD specialist. Though he was already 'unofficially' dx as Aspergers, no reason to officially dx him due to home schooling. ADHD meds don't help and with bp running rampant in both sides we are going to get him re-evaluated. He has always and will always be a large part of his medical team, as long as he is safe and open. When Dx, with ADHD he tried medications for a long period but felt that they did not work well. We agreed that it wasn't working.

DH was always depressed and never could really keep life demands afloat. He was told he had MDD and was on medication. He had retained a job and worked well until a shift change. It sent him into hypo mania. He needed a Dr. excuses to go back to work but was Dx. Bipolar 2 and put on a yr. leave. His work gave him 6 months but by the time he received a letter saying return in 2 weeks or it's viewed a voluntary termination. We received that letter a week late.

Bipolar or not it's about what helps not labels.

[BuggsBunny]

I was a freshman in College and having such nightmares that I went to the counseling center for help. my T there had me referred and medicated for mood swings at the end of my freshman year. By summer school, I was so depressed I missed most of my philosophy class. I was hospitalized over night twice in the fall of my sophomore year for Sui thoughts and feelings (no actions) and by January, my T wanted me on an antidepressant. I was hospitalized twice more that semester (6 weeks and 8 weeks), then went home for summer vacation. And that was just the beginning of my rocky road.

[BipolaRNurse]

I was diagnosed in late February, after going through a mixed episode that started in mid-December and ended just a few weeks ago. Actually, I'd been gradually decompensating over the past 3 years or so and didn't want to acknowledge it, not even after I started getting into different kinds of trouble. (Of course, it was always someone else's fault...)

I'd suspected I was bipolar for years before this, but I didn't really want to know for sure; it was just easier---to say nothing of more socially acceptable---to allow myself to be labeled 'depressed' and given ADs, which either worked for a little while (Paxil, Prozac) or made me manic (Wellbutrin).

I didn't want this diagnosis. But now that it's "official" and I'm learning to accept it, it's actually a good thing to be able to wrap a word around the anxiety, confusion, irritability, rage, exuberation, depression, sadness, despair, and fear that I've been dealing with for most of my life.

[LadyShadow]

I had suffered up and down's through my teenage years. My dad was very controlling and overprotective so I chose to run away from home and get involved with shady activities so I had just chalked up my wild behavior as a "rebellious stage"

Later in my 20's I became involved with a man that used to tell me "he loved me but wasn't IN LOVE with me" which helped me beat myself up and cause me to believe I wasn't good enough. I suffered with self-esteem issues all my life and this was just an amplification of it. Add drinking to the mix and a trip to the psychiatrist I was on the road to many hospitalizations.

I used to blame a lot of people for my diagnosis, like my ex boyfriend who made me feel inferior, or the psychiatrist who just passed me pills in an effort to shut me up because I was just crying hysterically in his office. I soon came to realize, later in life, that this has always been with me. The self-esteem issues, lack of drive and will power. spending money habits, depression and even mania. They were apparent in all aspects of my life, I just never put a label to it.

Thank you for posting this topic, it feels good to reflect and see how far I've come. Hope your journey through this illness is as calm as mine has been the past few years.

Good luck!

[Miss Laura]

Well,

I got diagnosised 2 years ago when I was 25 years old. The year leading up to my diagnosis was rather hectic. I was going out with my first ever boyfriend who I cheated on at a wedding in another county. I had sex for the first time. I came back and was working for about a few weeks when we got news that one of my service user's dad had died. My service user was 23 and has has Aspergus Syndrome. He just couldn't understand it. My shifts got changed and I spent 30 + hours a week working with him being hit, shouted at. I then had to go to his dad's funeral. Then I met another guy and dated him for about a month. Was in sheer depression and tried to take my own life. Oh ye and was still working with my service user who was going through all his family drama.

Diagnosis came a year after all of this!

[fergus]

I was going through another bout of depression but it was the first time I asked my doc for help. He sent me to see a therapist and gave me an anti-depressant....which triggered a mixed episode...which meant I was off to see my first pdoc.

[ggtina]

in 2006 I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder after a stint at the med ward on our ship. They didn't know at the time It was the zoloft that was making me manic. Recently I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. So they got part of the diagnoses right.

[moremi]

I was diagnosed after a two week manic shopping spree/getting drunk and dancing on bars. I crashed into a very dark place and i just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. I was calling into work because i coukdnt even leave my house. My husband got me out of the house one day and while he went in the bank i qas trying to keep myself from taking the car and running head on into traffic. It was awful. I just told him to take me to the hospital because i was having a nervous breakdown. Diagnosed bipolar 1, anxiery w panic attacks, agorophobia, ocd and bpd. My life has never been the same since. I had another breakdown a year later w two more hospitalizations. Its been a rough couple of years.