[pendulum328]

I am 63 and bipolar sometimes in denial. I have tried to cope with suspicious thought forever and the battle is getting ahead of me.
I was on lithium for 45 years until my kidneys began to fail and was taken off recently. Im on seriquel 50mg to sleep this is all i take. I have been somewhat stable for six months. Trust and suspicion is my main issue with compulsive thoughts.
My wife of 40 years died of cancer 2.5 years ago and i did well with that.
I also remarried 8 months ago this has been a difficult adjustment with trust and suspicion of my new wife.
she divorced 15 years ago and has been dating until we met.
I feel she might be communicating with a previous relation but nothing to confirm this. So my compulsive thoughts and suspicions are always in motion.
Dont know how to deal with this anymore even with seeing a therapist.

[hamster-bamster]

It sounds like there is too much on your plate. Which is to be said of so many of us here - we are masters of overwhelming ourselves, aren't we? Seroquel that you take is for sleep only, it is too low to act as an antipsychotic, so you have no protection against suspicious thoughts. I think you need to talk with the p-doc right away, who would probably up the Seroquel or invent something else to match the difficulty of the presentation. I know that going off Lithium as you become older is very difficult. I once was on a psych unit with a lovely 70-y-o woman who also was taken off Lithium (I do not know why). Poor thing was in and out of the hospital because nothing could substitute for Lithium which she had been taken for 40 years before and been stable on.

[faerie_moon_x]

Have you ever examined where your trust issues may be coming from? Sometimes we need to go back to the root to discover the problem. I also have racing and obsessive thoughts which are hard to deal with. When things are bothering me, it isn't until I get down to the very root of them until they leave me alone. Sometimes that's not always possible, though.

For example, I used to worry compulsivly about the bullies who had bullied me in high school even years after it was over. It wasn't an issue I could resolve because those people were not in my life. I couldn't go back in time to repair things. I had to work very hard to resolve the issue within myself without ever being able to confront those people. It wasn't easy.

Trust issues can destroy relationships, though. Have you tried taking your wife to the therapist with you?

[BuggsBunny]

It's really hard to adjust to another spouse, and being off your meds doesn't make it any easier. Take her with you to your T's and address the issue before it gets out of hand.

[pendulum328]

I grew up in a home where trust and suspicion was alway an issue. both my parents were liberated from death camps in 1945. i was born in 1949 and raised from birth with these thoughts as part of my upbringing. in 1965 i developed bipolar 1 entering mental hospitals to figure me out. 1970 was the year i was put on lithium this was a difficult journey.
never was able to develope friendships and had issues in trust and suspicions for no apparent reasons. i also mistrusted my first wife of 40 years using triggers and bits of information to create stories in my mind that did not exist. these stories would turn into compulsive whirl winds in my mind over and over.
i want to bring my new wife into this but she believes i was not diagnosed properly years ago.
i fear that my wife of 8 months will not understand my mistrust and distroy my relationship. this situation puts me in a corner that i fear.

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by pendulum328

I grew up in a home where trust and suspicion was alway an issue. both my parents were liberated from death camps in 1945. i was born in 1949 and raised from birth with these thoughts as part of my upbringing. in 1965 i developed bipolar 1 entering mental hospitals to figure me out. 1970 was the year i was put on lithium this was a difficult journey.
never was able to develope friendships and had issues in trust and suspicions for no apparent reasons. i also mistrusted my first wife of 40 years using triggers and bits of information to create stories in my mind that did not exist. these stories would turn into compulsive whirl winds in my mind over and over.
i want to bring my new wife into this but she believes i was not diagnosed properly years ago.
i fear that my wife of 8 months will not understand my mistrust and distroy my relationship. this situation puts me in a corner that i fear.

Bipolar is something that a lot of people don't understand. If she doesn't think you have bipolar, what does she think it is instead??

Whirlwind thoughts spiraling out of control is a big issue for me as well. Tell your fears to your wife about how your mistrust issues will ruin the relationship. Make it clear to her that you would see benefit for her to go with you to your therapist. Sometimes hearing things from a professional has a different effect than when your loved one says it.

Just the fact that you are asking for help is good. At least you are aware of your issue and working toward resolving it. Not everyone is willing to do that.