[sugahorse1]

I know this is always a contentious issue, but assuming money isn't the deciding factor - at what stage is depression considered too serious and is hospitalisation the right decision?
Looking back, I'm not sure if I should have gone last week or just fought through like I did, and could have had disasterous consequences

[Miss Laura]

Hey there Suga,

I would think if you are feeling unsafe and you think you might be in some sort of danger.... then hospital might be the right option.

[sugahorse1]

What's danger? Only suicide?

[Yoda]

As Miss Laura said if you are unsafe and a danger to yourself or others you absolutely need inpatient. I have also gone inpatient so my doc could start and adjust new drugs so he could closely monitor me for effects and side effects.

For me feeling unsafe was when I felt as though I was "on the edge" and wasn't sure I was safe without more support than outpatient gave me.

For me, I know I have to go in when my suicidal thoughts become really obsessive. I can become really impulsive which is a bad mix with suicidal thoughts. I've also gone in because pdoc wanted to make a serious med change that he wanted monitored very closely.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Suga,

I would say suicidal thinking, actions etc are dangers also if you are hurting yourself

[Trippin2.0]

I say being overly friendly with the ativan and klonopin and mixing them with wine constitutes hurting yourself. Not coping is reason enough to go inpatient. If for nothing else, you can't self-medicate there and you'll atleast have a pdoc and a T, as opposed to only your gp. Crescent clinic has very nice facilities, they're affilliated with Melomed. Melomed is a bit more clinical, but my niece just spent a month in there life skills centre, and it did her good.

[bluematador]

I would go before you start hurting yourself. I've waited until I started hurting myself and put myself in dangerous situations.

[sugahorse1]

I think I'm coming out of the worst now.
Thanks for your comments; there's always such a fine line

I've never been for depression, but when manic. But I was not a danger to me or anyone else. I was hospitalized because I could no longer function at all. When I do get that manic or mixed that I am no longer able to function that's when my pdoc suggests I go in. I'm not sure if they treat depression the same way. But I would think you don't actually have to be suicidal to go in. If the overall picture is looking pretty bleak.

For me I think it's that they can get my meds sorted and get me sleeping. What happened was I was put on extremely heavy amounts of meds to get it under control. I wouldn't have been able to to do that at home an take care of my kids. They had me very very sedated.

[Red_Cyclops]

I have felt a handful of times like I maybe should go to inpatient, but pushed through anyway at home. Looking back, I could view this two ways - 1) I made it through without seriously harming myself or anyone else without a hospital visit; or 2) I should have gone because it may very well have been easier/better/safer and more successful there. I choose to view option 2 as the right mindset. I think now that if I ever even consider that hospitalization is something to do, it probably means there is a good reason to go, before it gets really bad. Luckily I have been OK for some time so I haven't had to consider it recently.

[Anneinside]

At the hospital in my town, you have to be suicidal, homicidal, hurting yourself, or having ECT to be hospitalized. We have a crisis center for 10 people that is less secure than the hospital ward. If you don't meet the criteria for admission they send you to the Crisis Center.

[sugahorse1]

Anne - that sounds like a really nice plan.
I don't know if should have gone. But ultimately I didn't really hurt myself and I am alive, so it seems a hospital is over-board...

[cocoabeans]

Don't ever go willingly to a hospital. That's my rule and I've never gone, been asked to stay after being dragged to an ER or something but, I talk my way out.

I've heard terrible things about hospitals and don't care if it turned out fine in the end. Mostly it doesn't though. Once they put you in that system, you're bound to fail more easily next time, take that option next time and what? Depend on that system. No thank you. I scrape by.

When to go to the hospital? When I'm dying or dead and no sooner.

[moremi]

I do not like being in the hospital at all, it is always a last resort for me. When I get to the point where my suicidal thoughts are becoming more real and planning them out as if I am really going to hurt myself that is when I go. I have gone twice once right on the brink of trying and once right after, I waited to long on that one. I have been hospitalized 3 times, twice for depression w suicidal thoughts/actions and once for mania. I had my husband take me the first time because I was in the passenger seat of our car while he ran in the bank and I imagined taking the car and driving it out into the oncoming traffic. I was holding myself in the seat and just broke down crying and told him to take me to ER right away. They admitted me and got me stable. I think its a very fine line between breaking points though so if its questionable just go on in.

I don't know, I've been to the hospital one time, semi willingingly, and I don't think I will be back there again, or at least not for a very very very long time. My hospital experience really wasn't bad. They had good staff, treated you with dignity and respect. They made sure I was sleeping and eating.. Two things I really needed.

I don't think going to the hospital set me up for failure, maybe the opposite. I strive harder now to manage my bipolar more actively because I don't want another hospital stay, not because the stay was bad, but because I don't want to be that sick ever again.

That's only my experience tho. I'm sure it can work the other way too but for me I don't think I'll ever be actively suicidal, I have tried and failed in the past and I have my kids now, so in my mind that's not even an option for me. But if I am so low functioning because of mania and psychosis that I can't take care of them, and the home med treatments are not working at all, I feel I have to do something to get back in control so I can be a mother. I'm the only parent they have so it's pretty necessary that I am able to take care of them.

[Merlin]

I would go to (or call) my pdoc if I think I may need to be in the hospital and/or am not functioning and make a decision based on his recommendations. I know my pdoc views hospitalization as a last resort, though has told me in the past to go if I am unable to keep myself safe (and am unable to reach him.) I find that the hospital is a place that will keep me from acting on a planned method and well help me get my sleep and eating caught up, but it does not help more than that. I know at one point they let me home even though I still had significant suicidal ideation because I didn't have a specific method and plan. It was what I wanted at the time and I am still alive, but I am not sure it was an appropriate discharge. I found intensive outpatient therapy to be more helpful when I was non-functional, but there have been times when being hospitalized possibly saved my life.

[sugahorse1]

My hospital experience has been a positive one. I just know that the only time I really went to hospital (other than when I first started meds) was after a suicide attempt.
I waited too long and am not sure I know where that middle point is...

[Yoda]

I would add another reason to go inpatient for when you are stopping alcohol because of the risk of seizures.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by moremi

I do not like being in the hospital at all, it is always a last resort for me. When I get to the point where my suicidal thoughts are becoming more real and planning them out as if I am really going to hurt myself that is when I go. I have gone twice once right on the brink of trying and once right after, I waited to long on that one. I have been hospitalized 3 times, twice for depression w suicidal thoughts/actions and once for mania. I had my husband take me the first time because I was in the passenger seat of our car while he ran in the bank and I imagined taking the car and driving it out into the oncoming traffic. I was holding myself in the seat and just broke down crying and told him to take me to ER right away. They admitted me and got me stable. I think its a very fine line between breaking points though so if its questionable just go on in.

Just thinking about swallowing pills or driving my car into another doesn't count for anything with my pdoc. She said I go to per too often! She says my thoughts are jus stress.

[cocoabeans]

For me, suicidal thoughts are not worrisome. They happen a lot. Just today, I was walking across a bridge and had an image of me jumping. I didn't really want to. Thought about leaving my bagn with I'd, maybe a scribbled note. The scenerio existed. I'm not even depressed right now, my brain just does that.

I remember once telling a psychiatrist after she asked me how often I thought of suicide, not that often like twice an hour. She gave me a funny look. Ha! I was depressed at that time! Now, like twice a month if that but, a thought doesn't always indicate intent.

[Trippin2.0]

I'm in the same boat as CB, I think of suicide often, regardless of my mood. It's my brain's default setting for the better part of the last 12yrs. Sometimes the thoughts are amusing, scary,laughable, well, you get the gist. For me it doesn't indicate intent. My last pdoc, I told him about my default setting and he put me on lithium. Now as MUCH as I hated that drug, it DID it's job WELL! I've never had to call a dr or go inpatient for thoughts (really, he wouldn't have taken me seriously if I called every other day about my thoughts) BUUUT, the times I've been ACTIVELY suicidal, it hit me seemingly out of nowhere like an 18 wheeler truck, and the urges were strong, and my body was making preperations even without my consent, tools, notes, the whole caboodle, but on AUTO PILOT it took every ounce of strength I could mustre to tell my brother what I was doing so he could keep me safe. I can understand if those scare people, lucky for me, I've now got suicide/si kits, self-awareness and PC, being in that kit, and I use them. I stand by my point tho, if you are obviously N0T holding it together, drinking and drugging yourself into a stupour every night just to 'function', THAT is definitly cause for seeking help. You mustn't be ashamed to ask for it.

[Mayflower7]

Hi Sugarhorse,
So glad feeling much better. I think best to seek help if really feel might harm yourself/or be at risk. Having support and family/friends anybody can help too.
Take care
Kate

[sugahorse1]

Thanks Kate. I'm better now than last week.
I didn't do myself any favours though. I tend to drink a lot when I'm really depressed. Being on psych meds, that's technically dangerous. I think my body is quite used to it by now though.
I do agree that the hospital doesn't do much. The first time was a huge waste of time. I think I need my meds tweaked quite a bit and not sure how the pdoc will handle that

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

I'm in the same boat as CB, I think of suicide often, regardless of my mood. It's my brain's default setting for the better part of the last 12yrs. Sometimes the thoughts are amusing, scary,laughable, well, you get the gist. For me it doesn't indicate intent. My last pdoc, I told him about my default setting and he put me on lithium. Now as MUCH as I hated that drug, it DID it's job WELL! I've never had to call a dr or go inpatient for thoughts (really, he wouldn't have taken me seriously if I called every other day about my thoughts) BUUUT, the times I've been ACTIVELY suicidal, it hit me seemingly out of nowhere like an 18 wheeler truck, and the urges were strong, and my body was making preperations even without my consent, tools, notes, the whole caboodle, but on AUTO PILOT it took every ounce of strength I could mustre to tell my brother what I was doing so he could keep me safe. I can understand if those scare people, lucky for me, I've now got suicide/si kits, self-awareness and PC, being in that kit, and I use them. I stand by my point tho, if you are obviously N0T holding it together, drinking and drugging yourself into a stupour every night just to 'function', THAT is definitly cause for seeking help. You mustn't be ashamed to ask for it.

I can relate to your post, very well.
Thanks