Going Alone

I have decided that I am no longer going to take my meds and when I graduate I am no longer going to see a pdoc. Last Wednesday, the last time I saw my doc, he uped my Seroquel to 100mg from 50mg. I know, not a huge increase but it sent me into a crazy spiral. My body freaked and I went temporaraly *insane*. I started having blackouts and started cutting myself two days after the increase. I was admitted to and released from the pysch ward at one of the hospitals in town. I was forced to go by the police because a doctor I saw about the black outs said I was having self destructive behaviour and said I needed to be watched. I did not want to go to the hospital but my only choices were to go voluntarily or go against my will, but I was told that I was going no matter what. I was held for twelve hours after my physical workup and the psych eval. I have decided that I would rather have intense mood swings and try to help myself rather than risk going through that again. I can no longer trust the medical industry. They plotted against me to try and get me committed.
I am going to need all of the help I can get from ya'll to do this. Please help me, but please, don't try and talk me out of going alone.
Thanks
Amy

I'm sorry that you had such a horrible reaction to the increase of dosage with your meds. That must have been beyond description.

I would go see a different doctor, but that is me. I know how I am without my meds and I can't handle things. I hope you know that we are behind you in whatever you have decided and wish you the best of luck.

Please take care of yourself.

Sorry about what you had to go through Amy, sounds horrible. I have used Seroquel and it has made me feel horrible when they increased it. My pdoc would ask me too "give it time to work" The most I could take of it was 50mg without feeling "numb" so too speak. Have they tried anything else other then the Seroquel?
As far as trusting the medical community.....I am the same way. I went into the ER for an incident with my SI and I heard the doc talking to a nurse about me and I was disgusted by what I heard. I literally lied my way out of being put in the hospital. A few days later I ended up at a different one but I just want you too know I understand why you would feel like that.
As far as getting off your meds and not seeing a pdoc after you graduate. Only you can make that choice but whatever you choose I'm all ears if you ever need to talk.
Take Care of YOU
Cher