Can others feel it even if they don't realize it?

I'm curious about something.

I try very hard to keep in control of my mood. I do fail, of course, having a melt down episode or whatever here and there. Sometimes more often than I'd like. But, for the most part, I think I can kind of glide along.

But, I've noticed that even when I think I'm doing okay, (being concious of my tone, trying to retain neutral body language and expressions, using steady breathing to keep calm, etc.,) this is always when someone else reacts to me in a suddenly angry/upset way.

Example, the person I'm around suddenly becomes aggitated. Or maybe they are looking at me out of the corner of their eye in a nervous way. Or suddenly it's time to argue for no reason at all, even when moments before all was well. I've actually had customer service people look right at me then suddenly call the person in line behind me forward instead (this is a thing that used to happen a lot more, but a lot less in more recent years.)

Is this just me not realizing that maybe I'm putting forward some sort of signal that something is wrong with me? Or maybe me just feeling like it's that way because I'm already not doing so great? Or maybe people just have like a sense when you're off? Has anyone else noticed anything like this?

I think in part it is also the people youre working with. Or maybe you look too serious? If you can trust someone at work have them record or take a picture of you so you can see your body language.

Sometimes forced smiles and frowns turn me off.

I can think of a couple of incidences of when I am sure that people knew I was "off". I am sure I was labeled as crazy behind my back. Once, I could not let go of what turned into an argument with my boss and a lady from personnel. My point was correct; however, it was useless and not so smart to argue with superiors. I lost it and was crying, not pretty! I didn't keep that job at the end of the school year.
Also, I have asked a friend/coworker to let me know if I am getting too loud and out-of-hand at meetings, because when hypomanic I might speak before I think.
B luemountains

Thanks. I don't just mean at work. I mean in general. Like even people on the street. But also my home life as well.

Maybe your perception of others is off.

On top of that, you can't change how other people feel. The more you worry about it, the more you might be subconsciously trying to contort your expressions to give people 'what they want' which maybe makes things worse.

I've gotten kind of paranoid about stuff like this lately. In my group therapy I've been there 3 times and every time I go my table has 2 people at it and 4 at the other table. I swear people switch tables to not sit by me (I've been told I look angry by 100's of people but I'm a firggin' teddy bear once you know me. I probably always look 'angry' because I have a headache 24/7 and have for a very, very long time). I even have moved tables every time to see what happens and the last few people will come in and sit at whatever table is opposite of me.

Now, is it really because of me? Probably not. It's far more likely that, like coco says, my perception of how people view me is off.

Being bipolar means we are probably harder on ourselves than anyone else ever could be (that's at least true for me). It's hard enough to worry about ourselves to then add on to that worrying about what other people think of us. Not that I am saying it's easy to not worry about it, I am clearly guilty. Just something I try to think about when I feel like others are viewing me negatively. I try to remind myself that I am hard enough on myself, who cares how people look at me? That can help me to let how people look at me or treat me brush off my back. Sometimes.

I always get set off because of others reactions to me. I never even thought it might be because of some kind of sign I was giving off, that is interesting to think about, though. Gunna have to try to look for that in the future...

I think cocoabeans is probably right, and it may just be your perception. I know for a fact my perception of others emotions can be totally off at times.

For me, at least I'm part, I think my episodes arise from my lack of control in others responses to what I say/do, if that makes sense. I can't control the situation, but feel like I need to, and therefore lose it.

I don't know. My boyfriend tells me I come off as pushy and aggressive sometimes, when I don't mean to. I have a hard time regulating myself in that regard, but I'm pretty friendly once you get to know me. I miss body language cues, sometimes.

I don't know if it is a bipolar problem. If I'm unsure, sometimes I will ask people what to do but it's difficult because it's hard to know I'm doing it. I would just ask, though, if you perceive something as off.

Also, people on the street will 99% of the time avoid you/avoid eye contact. It's the culture we live in. I wander around town because I don't have a car and take public transit and that's just a general rule.

I agree with Cocoa, though, bipolar can change and warp your perspective.

You can say THAT again!!

When my brain's firing on all 8 cylinders, I can easily moderate my expressions and adjust my vocal volume, based on both verbal and visual cues from the person I'm talking with. But when I'm going through an episode, there is no insight whatsoever and I find myself astonished that people seem intimidated by me, or irritated at me. I don't feel like I'm out of line, but those filters I use during stable times don't work really well when my moods are out of control.

So, I have to rely on others to tell me when I'm alienating people. Thankfully, this situation rarely arises at work, and when it does, my boss knows how to handle it without pissing me off or making me feel defensive. (I'm very fortunate in that I was able to share this with him and request a few accommodations for those times when I'm not in full control of my moods.) My sister and a couple of my closer friends also know how to gently redirect me without angering me to the point that I go into denial. So I'm pretty lucky to have this support system to help me when the chips are down.

Thanks everyone.

I'm not sure what to do then, because I don't have anyone that will help me realize when I'm off.

Maybe it is your perception or insecurities. But I believe we also have an energy field or aura that surrounds us. I get really irritated when people stand too close to me in a line. So I do a thing where I visualize (when I remember) my aura tightish around me like a cocoon and a layer of royal blue color for protection. Then when I'm at home or somewhere feeling safe, I let my aura spread out more. Maybe if you can focus an aura of peace around yourself when in public, you wouldn't be so bothered by what others do? And their negativity wouldn't be able to permeate.

I live in a small town and ppl are really super friendly here (to your face) and I find it is such a struggle entertaining their behaviors. I am almost positive they know I'm kinda out there so it feels like they try to get a taste of what I'm like this week. When high I have no filter either and have told them I don't particularly like them then said sorry right after but the words were already out, damage was done. I think this applies to this thread. Sorry my mind is doing the 100 channel a min switch. This post took about 20 mins to write holy.

I just went out shopping and was positive this this lady looked at me funny, I started to mutter **** at her, but stopped myself I remembered this post from my sleepless night and figured I better try to adjust my perception, or just let it slide even if she did give me the evil eye for no reason, she's the one with the problem I did nothing to her (if in fact there was even any real problem lol)