[bluematador]

My boyfriend of two years just had his kids taken away because his ex found out about my bipolar disorder. She came into contact with my old roommate and questioned her about me. Upon hearing about my disorder she prevented my ex from seeing his kids and took out a restraining order against him claiming that he has put his kids at risk by allowing them to have contact with me. We both have really busy schedules. Occasionally we meet at the park with our kids and we play together. That is the extent of my contact with his two kids. I have chronic migraines and I am a full time student. I don't have much free time. My boyfriend works full time and does odd jobs on the side for extra income. We see each other about once a week so we try to arrange it so we can have some alone time together. His life revolves around his kids. He spends time with them five days a week and they stay with him on the weekends. Now he will have to wait three months until they go to court to see his kids again. Can my bipolar disorder be a reason to prevent someone from seeing their children. I feel terrible about this. His ex says she will only allow supervised visitation from this point on. He will no longer be able to spend so much time with his kids. He is devastated.

[bluematador]

My boyfriend has been so supportive and he is my best friend. I am wondering if I should end this relationship because I am causing considerable hardships for him.

[Confusedinomicon]

If your diagnosis was affecting the children, there would have been evidence of that already. You guys have been together for two years and they are developing fine. His ex sounds really spiteful for no reason?!

Even if you guys break up, she will probably find a reason to prolong this so he cannot see his children. What she did was not right and if you go to court you should bring up that point. There is no reason for her to go out of her way to find your roommate who may/may not have good feelings for you. Two years is a lot of time and there is the potential to change, which you seemed to have done.

[Trippin2.0]

I'm struggling to understand how you get a restraining order without proving possible danger... I'm wondering what it is she told the cops. What if you weren't dxd bipolar and she told the cops that anyway? Wouldn't there be an enquiry of some sort? If she got a restraining order based on a heresay of your dx, doesn't it mean all of us should have to lose custodial rights of our kids when we get dxd? Do you and bf live together? If you don't, this makes even less sense to me. It all sounds way too fishy. Then again, idk how the law works over there... Sorry this happened to you guys

[bluematador]

Bipolar effects everyone differently. I have no history of violence, rage or irritability. I get euphoric and am filled with love when hypomanic. When I'm depressed I isolated and sleep a lot. I have full custody of my seven year old daughter and she is developing fine. She is healthy and happy. She is at the top of her class. She is in all of the accelerated learning programs at school. I am on medication and I see a pdoc and T regularly. Because of our busy schedules my boyfriend and I have very separate lives. I am hoping this diagnosis is not going to have an impact on the judges decision to alter his current arrangement with his children.

[bluematador]

My boyfriend and I do not live together. I am not sure how she was able to get a restraining order. She probably had to lie about the situation to get one. I haven't had any contact with his children for months. We have both been too busy. I've been struggling with status migraines. And he has been working two jobs.

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

I'm struggling to understand how you get a restraining order without proving possible danger... I'm wondering what it is she told the cops. What if you weren't dxd bipolar and she told the cops that anyway? Wouldn't there be an enquiry of some sort? If she got a restraining order based on a heresay of your dx, doesn't it mean all of us should have to lose custodial rights of our kids when we get dxd? Do you and bf live together? If you don't, this makes even less sense to me. It all sounds way too fishy. Then again, idk how the law works over there... Sorry this happened to you guys

This is a classic example of the ignorance surrounding bipolar illness by uneducated or ignorant or spiteful people.

The truth is there is no stigma among strong, well-educated people. As an example,
I would point out the life of Dr. Kay Jamison Redfield who is bipolar and a psychiatrist
who teaches psychiatry at a major university and writes books about the illness, i.e.,
"An Unquiet Mind" and "Touched With Fire".

My guess is that the judge will throw out the request by the former wife and suggest that she get help in understanding bipolar illness; unless, as another has pointed out, the laws in your state are radically different from the ones in other states. She is unwittingly subjecting her children to undue hardship and the loss of affection from loving people. A good judge will probably point that out to her.

Do you know that most people used to have about the equivalent of an 8th grade education? (It may have come up a good bit in recent years.) That hardly qualifies for restraining orders in your case, in my view.

Try not to worry and tell the judge honestly what your life is like. I think you sound like a winner to me in every respect.

Genetic

[bluematador]

My boyfriend is a stable, healthy, hard, working man, devoted to his family. He is also really handsome and athletic. I often feel like I don't deserve him. He is so loving and supportive. I have health problems and bipolar disorder. I have been working with my T to develop self compassion and self acceptance. This feel like such a huge blow to my identity. It hurts to be considered a serious danger to someones children. He has told me not to worry about it. It doesn't change how he feels about me. He is convinced it will all get worked out in court.

[Trippin2.0]

Trust your bf! and please keep us updated. don't take her actions as a personal reflection on you, she clearly doesn't know you and has her own agenda. Practice your self-compassion and remember, we are here for you

[hamster-bamster]

Crazy lady, his ex.

I am so sorry for you, him, the children.

But god forbid you end the relationship - it sounds like you lucked out on him (and on your daughter, too, of course) - do not let go, we need some luck when pretty much everything else is a hardship - in your case, BP, migraines, chronic pain, what not. Do

[faerie_moon_x]

Sounds like the real crazy person in this mix is his ex and not you. I have a friend whose cousin is dealing with an ex like that. He just went to court because she lied to the cops and said he was abusing his daughters. Well, he showed up to court to defend himself and protest the protection order. She didn't even bother to show up. That proved to the judge right there that it was a lie and the order was lifted, all charges dropped, and case closed....

Because you have custody of your own daughter and no history of violence or child abuse, I can't see this going very far.

[Victoria'smom]

Seriously wait it out. He should really get a good lawyer. Jump through whatever hoops the lawyer says to. best of luck.

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by bluematador

My boyfriend is a stable, healthy, hard, working man, devoted to his family. He is also really handsome and athletic. I often feel like I don't deserve him. He is so loving and supportive. I have health problems and bipolar disorder. I have been working with my T to develop self compassion and self acceptance. This feel like such a huge blow to my identity. It hurts to be considered a serious danger to someones children. He has told me not to worry about it. It doesn't change how he feels about me. He is convinced it will all get worked out in court.

This isn't you, it's her. She's lying, jealous of you with her own identity falling apart. I know you must feel so devastated but believe your bf, don't worry, he will work it out. Sounds like he's used to this sort of control trip and manipulation from her. Don't let her bring you down, you're awesome

[sjane23]

How on earth can your bipolar be reason enough for your OH to not see his kids???? As long as you aren't full of rage or violent I don't see how she will get her own way. I have social services involved as my eldest struggles to put on weight she takes after her dad. They know about my illnesses and know I'm not a danger to my girls or society and they're fine with it! I know its not the same thing but its still official people involved so if they're fine with me that ought to be the same for you. One thing that could work in his favour is if you ask your psychiatrist for a report about how your condition doesn't affect the children in any adverse way and he could present it to the court. I hope it helps and try not to worry.