[ChaoticSymphony]

I have messed up a few times the past couple weeks and ppl keep saying its not my fault, I'm ill, take your meds, worry about it when you are calm. Btw, thank you everyone on here who has helped me throughout all that mess, it means a lot. Anyways I don't understand how it isn't my fault. How isn't it my fault, I was there?

[Victoria'smom]

Originally Posted by ChaoticSymphony

How isn't it my fault, I was there?

There's a differences between taking responsibility and "beating your self up". Your family doesn't seem to be choosing the right phrases to comfort you while you're in pain. This is the "repair-plan" phase. You said you have a journal, look into it to identify your beginning hypo/manic symptoms. Repair is thing like having a date night, doing things you enjoy, and showing appreciation for the people who helped you through it.

Prepare is more identifying warning signs, length, support people and developing plans for the symptoms. We have them written down and sign so when we are not well we can't refuse that we made it and wanted that response to symptom, when well. Mine includes help like when I need more prompting to do needed thing like: reminder to take meds., sleeping meds, pushed into the shower, dragged outside, meals cooked for me, getting to appointments and when to call my therapist or pdoc. It really helpful to us when we are having bad times. My therapist also has a copy.

Don't beat yourself up it's called a high for a reason, your not completely in control but now you can plan better for next time.

[moremi]

Yeah dont beat yourself up, try to learn a lesson to be a little more mindful next time you get hypo. Of course everything we do as adults is our own fault but there is times when we are simply sick and things happen that our normal persons wouldnt do. Such as, i had a manic episode and went off and had an affair. I believed God sent this guy to me to understand me and my illness and addiction. Anyways as you know I what goes up does come down. I beat myself up for this for the longest time but to be honest if I werent manic this never would have happened. Yes I may have been attracted but I would not have been so impulsive and reactive to him. Having impaired judgement when your manic does kind of give you a break so try not to beat yourself up.

[BuggsBunny]

Agreed, you were there, in your body, anyway. But you weren't in your right mind. I think that's what your family and friends are trying to tell you. They understand that you have a problem, and you weren't thinking things thru all the way.

Now that you are, forgive yourself as they have, and get on with making plans so that you don't make the same mistake twice. That's all you can really do, learn from what happens and try not to let it happen again.