New Question Coming Down Manic episode TRIGGER

Hello everyone I am new here and newly diagnosed to my illnes bp,manic depression,and ptsd. I am currently on Wellbutrin 300mg and lamictal 100mg,and tompomax 50mg, and sereqoel only for sleep 50mg, so heres my question:Okay I know this isn't the right thing to do but it's something I feel and it's what I feel and I was just wondering if anyone feels the same way. So here it goes whenever I am coming down off a manic episode and I am like I feel right now low and depressed and feel like my body is dead and numb, I feel like cutting because it gives me a rush that adrenaline rush that pushes me up a little to make me feel alive. Can anyone realte to this. I haven't been this down in a while but it's hitting me hard today and I am trying to keep myself preoccupied and not think about it. I can also cut without even thinking about it if I get that numb feeling I will just like go on automatic pilot and do it... I did Saturday and My husband was like what are u doing we talked about it "I don't remember the conversation" When I woke up the next morning I have these cuts on my thigh and it took me a minute and then I sort of remember doing it but I didn't bring it up with my husband out of shame and embarassment. Can anyone relate? I do see my Pdoc regularly and keep a diary card and she does know what I do and I am honest now, but anyway any suggestions or just feedback? Best to all

lynelle

Lynelle! First WELCOME too PC!!!!
I to have the urges when I come down. And I did some research on the need to want to do this. What I found is there is an increase of endorphins. They call it "runners high" I think that is where some of my addictive behavior has come from with cutting. I am recently trying too use exercise as a release, which for me is soooooooooooo difficult. What your saying makes alot of sense too me. I too have PTSD and have done things without knowing. It can be quite scary.
HUGS
Cher

Cher thank you so much for your quick reply!!! I have really been working on behaviovarl skill to avoid doing this but sometimes its unbearable. Unfortunantley last night was one fo those nights...I work out allot to help myself too but some things just don't work the same. I will keep working at it and thanks for the welcome again, Lynelle

your welcome !!!

Hi there, welcome to PC,
I see you stated you see your pdoc regularly, but I think it would be good to call her/him when this feeling comes over you, and not wait to you see her /him again.
It is important to make your pdoc aware of this asap, before things become more intense.
I wish you lots of luck with this and your treatment.
Take care,
DE