Okay. My lorazepam has kicked in and I'm feeling so much better. Ugh.. that whole parent thing really got me good. But it made me think just how fragile that line is between being 'ok' and 'not ok'.

it's always been my way of dealing with life to justify and adjust to whatever changes happen. I would change my perspective according to what was happening. But now, perspective is one of the most important things to me. perspective is that fragile thing I am talking about.

I need a solid, constant perspective on life to be ok. it makes it hard to be honest when I am coping cuz it tends to change, to make everything ok. I think it's a talent, a skill to keep a constant perspective and I'm getting ok with doing that. But man, it sure can be thrown for a spin sometimes!

Does anyone else struggle with this?

Landskaperdan, I wish you would read Pearl Buck's description of the artist. What
you are expressing is the temperament of the artist. She makes some astute observations about it, and I think it would help you to recognize that you may be an
artist with the artist's temperament.

Don't despair. There's nothing wrong with that. And it might make you feel a little better to know that keeping things in perfect perspective is not the artist's usual modus operandi.

There's always the desire to be creating something in the artist. You aren't afraid
of seeing a new perspective, are you? It's really inviting and challenging to have something that you want to do so badly you can taste it and then get to work on it.

Take care.

Genetic

[BlueInanna]

I know about the line. How quick something can send me into darkness. The parent thing set me off too, and I remembered some unpleasant things that I didn't want to right now. I just gotta keep balanced right now, too much riding on me being stable. And yes that perspective is a skill that I'm happy I've developed. It's a tool I've learned to help me think through my feelings when I start goin there or there. But even still I got thrown off track last night into a screaming fit. Oh well, try not to do that again. Yep it's a fragile line.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

...

I need a solid, constant perspective on life to be ok. it makes it hard to be honest when I am coping cuz it tends to change, to make everything ok. I think it's a talent, a skill to keep a constant perspective and I'm getting ok with doing that. But man, it sure can be thrown for a spin sometimes!

Does anyone else struggle with this?

Yes. I don't know how to articulate it right now. But very much yes. The rocks under my feet are floating right now. Very unstable.

[Trippin2.0]

((((Pete)))) sending you lotsa s my friend.
Dan, that line of mine seems to shift quite often, so my skill needs to be upgraded regularly.

..crazy line old unpredictable thing mine gets so wide sometimes I fall right into the gap mad chasm of unkowingness nothingness empty spaces and it's too late....

aaaaah!!

falling falling descending into the tripwire line things are collapsing around me I run flat out there is no stopping no turning back gotta hold the walls up this damn LINE corridor of mental accidents all mine where the F did they come from?.....keep it together but it's closing in and if I don't keep moving I will be crushed by my fears...

paper thin membrane of my madness mocking my every move I have to make it keep running flat out don't look sideways I will make it dodge and weave look wow I can dance what a spinout!! tear my feet off before I break through to the other side I am trapped