Lack of family support

Last year I was diagnosed with bp II after being treated only for depression and hypothyroidism for 7 years before that. Other than my husband, my late mother, and my sister, I never shared any of my treatments or dx with any extended family members.
Now, after dealing with difficulties and med changes for the past 9 months, I have decided to take a break from work. With this decision, my husband thought that it would be necessary to share info. about my dx, pdoc and t appointments with my in laws. I also told my brother because, at the time, he had been prescribed wellbutrin for depression, although he refused to take it. As a side note, my 12-year old son also is being treated for a mood disorder, which my in laws already knew about.
Now, just as I feared, I have strong suspicions that I have become a source of family gossip, instead of what I had hoped would be respect for the privacy I have protected for so long. We are from a small community with mostly family living in close proximity; however, my immediate family (me, h and kids) live 3 hours away.
Last night I was talking with my brother. He told me that my mil had told him about my dx (he already knew). Her conversation began with, "Don't tell anybody, but". Keep in mind that this is my mil telling my brother. Even though they live near each other, there is no family connection between the two. You can see where this is going...I can only imagine what she has told her own extended community of family members!
Also, I found out how much support I can expect from my brother. In his words, it has been his experience that people who are diagnosed with bp are just looking for justification to act totally crazy, not work, and to have legal access to drugs. He is surprised that I allowed this dx, since I have never been "drug" crazy.
Right now, I am hurt by my brother's reaction. He grew up in the same alcoholic, abusive household as me, and he knows that my mother and father both took meds for mental illness.
I am also angry with my h for feeling the need to share, even though he knows how fast news travels in that community, becoming more sensationalized with each teller. His reasoning was that we are always on a tight budget with four kids, and occasionally our in laws help with kids' expenses (their choice, not us asking).
If you've stuck with my rant about my frustration, thank you. I can't believe how ignorant those who are close to me choose to be. I hope all of you are living in a much more supportive environment.
Bluemountains

Hugs blue. Keep your chin up. You are still the same person as before they knew. Don't let them take that away from you with their gossipy ways.

Bluemountains, this is awful. My then h also shared the information about my suicide attempt with my dad, cousin, and uncle, but he did it when he was at the end of his rope not knowing what to do with me and expecting help from them since they are my blood relatives. No help came along, trust me on that. Instead, my uncle demanded money that he thinks I owe him (delusionally). He is the only one who lives close by and he did not visit me when I was inpatient on a locked unit. He instead continued to bombard my ex with demands for money. My cousin and father had a plan to disinherit me from my late mother's property on the grounds that I am incapacitated (they did not succeed, thanks god). My cousin tried to make me see a p-doc who is her friend because she wanted access to my medical records for that.

I know that what I wrote is only tangentially, and even that at best, related to your pain, but I wanted to share that relatives can be fully and totally unsupportive.

"Friends" you can get rid of, but not family. Sorry, HB! I know that recently, until your new job, financially you could have used help instead of attempts to completely break you.

Ugh, some people don't know the meaning of the word family so sorry Blue.

You're right, Trippin, again. Some families don't understand the meaning of the word
family.

The only answer to all of the sadness of this is, in my view, that one has to become as independent as possible, and those who want to be good friends will be. Those who can't be because of their own limitations will just have to be left behind as gently as possible, I think.

Blue Mountains, you are a well-educated woman and capable of so much. I see you as making a strong stride toward independence of others' thoughts, and I hope you
will remain secure and grow happier because of it in days and weeks to come.

This, too, shall pass. I've been there and know how you feel but I'm sure that
the knowledge will only work for your own strengthening over the years to come.

Take care of yourself and husband and children.

Genetic

Sorry to hear this Blue...

There is nothing that you can do to change their perception of you. Keep yourself in good health, ignore the talk about you, and stay focused on your health. I know it's tough. Your family is suppose to be your support system, yet they gossip and become judgemental....Your brother, excuse me, is ignorant...So is he and anyone else who jumps on the bandwagon along with him... A word of advice, you will never be able to change how he and others view you...Anything else you have going on in your life, from this day forward, only share it with people you can trust...This is exactly why I can't tell anyone about me...People talk too much...And are ignorant... And your husband's excuse for saying something? I can't find logic in that...

Family have the greatest potential to hurt us and sometimes that is exactly what happens. I am sorry for your pain. My family is not close and see my mental illness as a character weakness. Keep close to those that care ie your children etc.

I'm sorry your in-laws decided BP was "news" worthy. I think you need to explain to your brother more about what BP means in your life and that as a non-pill taker obviously it's necessarily for you. Remind everyone that this is a private matter and you need there support. Many of us only have support of our immediate families or less. sorry they all are being so sucky.