New and wanted to let some things out

Hello

I'm concerned that I may have type 2 BPD. It's gotten really bad over the last year since a major breakup. The worst part is knowing that people have gossiped about my depressive, paranoid, and manic tendencies due to the major x-gf and girls that I've dated since devaluing me in various social circles. I feel that I've been labelled as crazy. I know some pretty twisted people (alcoholics, druggies) that have been very cruel and inconsiderate. I suspect they have their own issues and feel better when they bully and degrade other people.

I would really like any advice dealing with passive aggressive people. The teasing and petty comments really get to me. I think that if I didn't let that bother me so much, I would be able to recover my reputation somewhat.

Furthermore, it's tough getting older and feeling alone. I'm not unnattractive, but I am insecure about my thinning hair. I oscillate between not caring and obsessing about it, and when I do get down, I tend to worry about it too much.

I have had several relationships, but I never seem to find anyone that will be supportive. Women seem to expect men to be stoic and strong, and I am most of the time, but I wish I could open up and trust someone to be there for me and not judge me when I drop my guard or are feeling bummed out. It's actually really easy to cheer me up, but most the women I've dated don't seem to care, and it's hard for me to trust women to not throw the situation back into my face the next time they are upset.

I just don't know how to get better. I have finally seen a shrink and he prescribed Nuvigil to help with my growing lethargy and, strangely, insomnia. I'm anxious to see how it works. I've tried Modafinil before and it made me energetic and more focused, but it had an irritable edge on it, especially the next day. I hope reduced dosing will work.

Please feel free to comment. I would hope that this is an understanding and caring community. Trolling me won't help anything. Sorry if I'm being defensive.

If you've read this, I appreciate you. I needed an outlet. Thank you!

-Me

Sounds like you have had a rough year! I hope things feel better soon

I can't believe people are hassling you about being "crazy", they sound like really mean people. It sucks your ex's are sharing your personal stuff too.

Regarding passive aggressive folk, I have always found being super upfront, assertive and mature works a treat, with a sickening dose of niceness haha. E.g. "I've noticed you seem annoyed with me and I'm worried I've done something to upset you. Can we sit down and talk it through because your friendships important to me" (but in less corny wording). Then the person either takes up your offer up and talks the issue through with you, or (in my experience) feels awkward for being mean to you when you were kind to them and therefore stops being mean anyway. Killing it with kindness.

Aargh my brain is all frazzled now, I'm not making sense in my head. I think when you find people who "get it", it being people with mental health issues are the strongest/bravest out it will be easier to not care about what the people who don't get It say.

I'm sure things will get better for you soon

what is trolling??

It sounds like you travel within a certain group of people. It might be time to break the mold, per say. Same thing happened with me growing up, and I found that I had to abandon my 'circle' of so called friends and look for people that were in different walks of life. People that I would have never expected to be, were the most kind and loving ones of them all.

Hello, RFrogger, and welcome.

You intuitively sense that those who are demeaning and critical have their own problems. What they are doing is releasing the unconscious ideas they really have of themselves. It's all in an effort to try to make themselves feel better inside and look better outside.

What they don't know is that what they are really doing is revealing more of themselves than anything else. Don't EVER JUDGE YOURSELF based on somebody else's opinion of who you are. In fact, never judge yourself at all.

Just live by your deepest inner principles and you will be fine.

Continue to see your psychiatrist and learn more about the motivations of some people. You will learn which type to steer clear of and who will ultimately be your real friends. Correct opinions are the greatest help to you. But you must remember to avoid judging yourself based on somebody else's idea of who you are.

My first inclination is to retaliate against those by saying to them, "do you know that you are really revealing your own unconscious feelings about yourself and trying to attach
them to someone else so that you might be able to feel better about yourself? What an
unhappy life you must have! Is that the reason you drink and use drugs so frequently?"

But that goes too far and is cruel in one sense; maybe if you left out the "Is that the reason you drink and use drugs so frequently?" would make it more appropriate. you should grow strong enough in time, though, that you may be able simply to dismiss them as unhappy people. I hope you can do that. There are too many nice people in the world to have to endure the friendship of the kind you have been choosing.

You have to protect a fragile ego and learn to calm yourself within.

Take care and continue to post as you wish.

Genetic

Hi Frogger, welcome

Good advice above. Believe in yourself, trust yourself. It sounds like you know who you really are deep in there. And what those other people have to say about you is unkind, and who are they to judge!

I really like Faraway's idea to approach any of these "friends" with an opportunity for discussion, they would probably run and hide!

And you sound like a great catch of a man to me. I've got a strong & stoic type man right now, but dammit, I would really like him to show some fricken emotions!!

Good luck, keep posting

If you can I would move to an area that has a good mental health system and get a fresh start. Then get yourself to a locally owned coffee shop, or other local events that are conversation friendly. If you like to read join a book club like at books-a-million. If you can't move you have to get out of the circle of 'friends' you have change your number, join the Y or other gym, join a writers club, take a college course anything that gets you out of that circle of 'friends'. They will not help you get healthy. Please focus on getting healthy and a relationship usually will come.