[Faraway tree]

So I have been officially bipolar for about six weeks now, un officially for six years. When I finally got help I was so tired, just exhausted from riding out the mood swings that I actually had nothing left. I just bowled up to the drs office and have been so good - no more alchohol, taking the drugs, being honest, keeping appointments. I don't know why I was so surprised after this to still feel down, and have been feeling low for a while now, to the point that it's affected my work and I have had time off. This is ok. Depression isn't exactly new to me.

The thing is, I've lost my fight/mojo/courage/get-up-and-kick-arse-even-though-i-feel-like-dying powers. It's as if I have no energy reserve to draw on. I'm not sure if it's the meds taking away my hypo switch, or just being tired to my bones but my ability to push on, to 'fake it', to put on a brave face, it's gone.
And when I think of bipolar being a forever thing I just can't even comprehend how I can have a life without my "overdrive" setting.

What do you guts think? Can you relate? Is it just normal life without the hypo? Or maybe I'm just grieving or something?

I guess my question is, how do you push on when there is nothing left? I mean, I'm not going to top myself or anything but being alive and functioning is kinda hard sometimes, as you well know, and I have never felt so drained and empty and broken before. Tips for self-revival?

Cheers,

Me

Hello, Faraway tree, and welcome.

Frankly, I think we've all experienced what you're talking about and it does get better, but you have to have a plan to help yourself.

Six weeks is just about enough time for some medications to take full effect. You have
that to contend with first. They will kick in strongly very soon.

It's good you dropped the alcohol because that will be a huge help in improving your feeling tone over the months ahead.

You may wish to make some changes in your diet right away to help:

1. Remove caffeine from your diet if you are sensitive to it. It can make bipolar illness worse. That means no coffee, tea(if it has caffeine in it) chocolate and
diet sodas or sodas, period. Please see www.http://DoctorYourself.com-caffeine

2. Take your medications.

3. Establish a routine sleep schedule and try to adhere to it as much as possible.

4. Get into exercise; it improves feeling tone, too, as well as keeping desirable weight.

For some people, wheat is bothersome. Try to cut back on it if you can and choose
other carbohydrates that are slower acting which are very good for blood sugar
control. Having a fresh salad every day is part of my regimen.

You will learn the rest as you work at stabilizing your feeling tone. Please look at
some diets on the internet that you might like to extrapolate one or two items from for your personal use.

Right now, please know that you are going to be much better as time rolls on,
and you have a lot to look forward to.

Please take care of yourself. Keep posting as you need to let us know how you are getting along.

[bluemountains]

I am not one that will be able to give sound advice, Faraway, because stability doesn't last long for me yet, and I've been fighting this battle for several years. When the meds finally kick in I only seem to have a period of a couple of months before I need to seek another change, although I did last with Cymbalta for five years! The only thing with that drug is that was miserable when coming off of it.
Lately, I tend to go into hypo mode when my meds aren't right, so at first I enjoy it. This is where I am now. The only thing about this state is that I mess with my drugs and I go back to old, abusive habits, so yes, I can relate to not having stability with both ends of the mood spectrum.

If the meds don't kick in after six weeks, you might want to visit your dr. soon to get an adjustment. There are many combinations that can be offered.
Good luck!

[Mollie May]

I feel this way a lot. Honestly, I don't know how to "power through" it. I just try to remind myself that it will gt better. I think my dogs (yeah, I know) help me out a lot, though, because when I'm feeling that way, they get me up and moving and out of my own head. They need me, so I need to get up and get moving. They'll nudge me out of bed on the days I don't think I can do it myself. I think dogs are really great like that.

Though I'm loathe to admit it, exercise helps. Of course, when I feel like my energy reserves are empty it's hard to get to the exercising (the dogs help with this too). My doctor says, "Just do it. Your body wants you to even if you're mind is telling you that's not true." A lot of people say "mind over matter." I think sometimes with bipolar depression, it's really body (matter) over mind.

Best of luck!

[BlueInanna]

Hi Faraway tree,

I don't think the "normal" we aim for with the meds is supposed to feel like having no energy. And it may be something pdoc can adjust with meds. You very well could be mourning the old way you lived, especially parting ways with alcohol/drugs, that's a pretty big deal. But good for you in doing it! For me, I still have the hypo come on sometimes, like currently. But this lithium is like a saviour, because I haven't gone through the roof with it. I was so worried in the beginning that I wouldn't have moods if I was medicated. And I had to try quite a few before I found a good combo. But I do still have moods, just a bit healthier I suppose because they don't interfere as much with my functioning. Make sense?

[Faraway tree]

Yeah that makes sense. I think exercise might have to be my saving grace. I went a bought running shoes yesterday so I'm all good to go, and conveniently live next door o the biggest park in the city. I feel better now, a bit. Thanks for your support guys . Really needed it

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by Faraway tree

So I have been officially bipolar for about six weeks now, un officially for six years. When I finally got help I was so tired, just exhausted from riding out the mood swings that I actually had nothing left. I just bowled up to the drs office and have been so good - no more alchohol, taking the drugs, being honest, keeping appointments. I don't know why I was so surprised after this to still feel down, and have been feeling low for a while now, to the point that it's affected my work and I have had time off. This is ok. Depression isn't exactly new to me.

The thing is, I've lost my fight/mojo/courage/get-up-and-kick-arse-even-though-i-feel-like-dying powers. It's as if I have no energy reserve to draw on. I'm not sure if it's the meds taking away my hypo switch, or just being tired to my bones but my ability to push on, to 'fake it', to put on a brave face, it's gone.
And when I think of bipolar being a forever thing I just can't even comprehend how I can have a life without my "overdrive" setting.

What do you guts think? Can you relate? Is it just normal life without the hypo? Or maybe I'm just grieving or something?

I guess my question is, how do you push on when there is nothing left? I mean, I'm not going to top myself or anything but being alive and functioning is kinda hard sometimes, as you well know, and I have never felt so drained and empty and broken before. Tips for self-revival?

Cheers,

Me

Welcome to PC You've gotten some pretty good advice here so far, and I don't have a lot to add except sympathy. Five months ago, I was pretty much where you are now: newly diagnosed, starting on meds, still feeling down, and wondering if this was as good as it was ever going to get.

Not only that, but I was having a terrible time coming to grips with the "forever" aspect of this thing and grieving the loss of the "me" I'd believed myself to be for 53 years. I only recently accepted the diagnosis and the fact that I have to be medicated in order to live my best life with this disorder. Sometimes it takes a lot longer than that to get to this level of acceptance......every BPer has their own timetable.

Even medicated, there will still be times when moods are unstable; you'll still have some 'highs', as well as lows, but you'll learn how to use that extra energy during the high times and regroup during the downtimes. (I haven't got that second part down yet, but the first part is really easy. )

And, keep coming back here to PC, where there are folks just like you, who wrestle with the same demons you do, who can help. (It's always easier to 'fix' someone else's problems than to address our own, yes?)

[Faraway tree]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

Welcome to PC You've gotten some pretty good advice here so far, and I don't have a lot to add except sympathy. Five months ago, I was pretty much where you are now: newly diagnosed, starting on meds, still feeling down, and wondering if this was as good as it was ever going to get.

Not only that, but I was having a terrible time coming to grips with the "forever" aspect of this thing and grieving the loss of the "me" I'd believed myself to be for 53 years. I only recently accepted the diagnosis and the fact that I have to be medicated in order to live my best life with this disorder. Sometimes it takes a lot longer than that to get to this level of acceptance......every BPer has their own timetable.

Even medicated, there will still be times when moods are unstable; you'll still have some 'highs', as well as lows, but you'll learn how to use that extra energy during the high times and regroup during the downtimes. (I haven't got that second part down yet, but the first part is really easy. )

And, keep coming back here to PC, where there are folks just like you, who wrestle with the same demons you do, who can help. (It's always easier to 'fix' someone else's problems than to address our own, yes?)

Thanks . It's awesome to be able to talk to people who get what it feels like to have bipolar, but also all that other stuff that's confusing when you try to merge you and bipolar and the world.

I went for a run today (to use the term run loosely, basically I explored the park at a slow stagger for an hour) but it was good, made me feel more in control of my brain chemicals.

Thanks for the support . Much appreciated

[Faraway tree]

P.s. as for the forever aspect? One day at a time for me haha, whenever I think of forever it's too big. But today is ok