[Bear_Spirit]

I would like to know when you as an amateur/ordinary person can begin to suspect that a woman which have a pattern of being emotionally unstable, when that crosses over to be a full borderline diagnosis?

For me those things are always very difficult to know, and although Wikipedia DSM IV page has the so called criterias, it is still difficult to know, so I am wondering a little about that.

When can you really suspect that a woman suffers from borderline diagnosis?

[Eliza Jane]

Originally Posted by Bear_Spirit

I would like to know when you as an amateur/ordinary person can begin to suspect that a woman which have a pattern of being emotionally unstable, when that crosses over to be a full borderline diagnosis?

For me those things are always very difficult to know, and although Wikipedia DSM IV page has the so called criterias, it is still difficult to know, so I am wondering a little about that.

When can you really suspect that a woman suffers from borderline diagnosis?

Did you mean to post on the personality disorders page? This is the bipolar page. I think your post can be moved...

[Bear_Spirit]

Yes, that's OK with me!

Originally Posted by Bear_Spirit

I would like to know when you as an amateur/ordinary person can begin to suspect that a woman which have a pattern of being emotionally unstable, when that crosses over to be a full borderline diagnosis?

For me those things are always very difficult to know, and although Wikipedia DSM IV page has the so called criterias, it is still difficult to know, so I am wondering a little about that.

When can you really suspect that a woman suffers from borderline diagnosis?

I was with an emotionally unstable woman for six years and the first thing that sparked my suspicions were the constant calls and texts and needs. SHe would constanly text and if I was working she would ring my phone in work or email me to find out why I didn't answer her call. If we fought she would threaten suicide, lock herself in the bathroom with pills. She controlled who I spoke with and who my friends were. She checked my emails and phone to make sure I wasn't cheating constantly, she very insecure because she cheated all the time. She would cut herself and pull her hair out if I threatened to leave and actually refused to give my car keys back so I couldn't leave the house. There are many different signs but they are just a few

Hi Bear, just curious, are you trying to understand someone's behavior as it relates to you, so you can make decisions?

Are you trying to find a label for someone to give yourself validation or peace of mind?

I think the only way to really know is for an official Dx by a qualified MD/Clinician....sometimes those can be off the mark, but better to not speculate.

Good luck and best wishes

ps, many women could be labeled emotionally "unstable" once a month...

[Bear_Spirit]

Well... I have a woman in my life and it is 3 years as of this month. I won't go into specifics as how it looks like and everything, but what I can tell is that this woman is definitely a woman with a good heart, but during these 3 years she has "only" tried to take suicide 1 time in total where I know it definitely was for real. I didn't feel so good about that, but she didn't do it (luckily!). It was about money and she was unhappy about that, so unhappy that she had strong feelings about not to continue to live.

From what I know about her, that is that I must always try hard to never judge her, and always show respect even though when she does not (at times), because for me it isn't really important who is right or who is wrong in different arguments, and focus have always been set to help and support each other, that's the thing that counts, in my opinion, and I tend to repeat that to her whenever we are in an argument, and it usually calms down that way.

She needs a lot of positive feedback every day, and have a tendency to think that everything is always about emotions, although sometimes it is not, I've felt confused at times, not really understanding how she was thinking.

So a person which involves emotions in, everything, every word and in every discussion, could she have the borderline diagnosis because of that? I know I probably shouldn't speculate, but I'm curious to whether that could be a sign. When she is OK, she is more emotionally stable, but inside her I've always felt her to be suspicious on me whenever I act in the way that she perceive that I haven't been honest with her about something. It's been a pain these 3 years, and every day of it has it been worth it. I am struggling to make it work, and we are both unemployed persons, and that makes it difficult at the present. We are not living together in physical.

I've been paying her bills and everything for 3 years now, and my next step at the present is to try with help organisation somewhere so they can try and help her out. I am not allowed to tell where she lives, and I know she is paranoid about that, so I cannot say or write anything about that.

So I am worried today because I am unemployed (since june of this year), and it has been difficult getting a new job and it affects our relationship in a bad way, I wish times could be better! I search for approx. 30 paid jobs each month and I spend a lot of time doing this, I'm doing everything to find something, and when I do (which I don't know yet) our relationship can go back to begin getting better again, if she survives this...

Hi ((((Bear)))) thanks for sharing more xx I understand a bit better now.

I am really sorry this is such a difficult time ... I do understand. Not having a job PLUS the stress of daily life can/will take a toll.

I dont know if you have AlAnon where you live; however, if you do, it could be really helpful and another great place for support.

It is important for you to take good care of yourself, too, and focus on yourself. Be good and kind to yourself.

Hugs to you and your SO,
Rose