[Mollie May]

I'm 32 and getting ready to be married. The wedding is quickly taking on a life of its own, leaving me feeling very out of control. In addition, I've experienced a number of major life changes in the last 6 months. I got a promotion (which is great but comes with more responsibility and more stress), I moved (and am living with another person for the first time in almost 10 years), etc. I feel like I'm living in the middle of a tornado with everything spinning all around me. We all know stress can be a trigger. I'm worried about that--and about keeping all these stressors under control (lots of crying jags here lately + insomnia). Advice, encouragement, opinions, thought, etc. all accepted here. Thanks!

[likewater]

Would it be ok to postpone the wedding?

i wish you all the best.

hugs

[Confusedinomicon]

Is there any way you can have other people help you with wedding decisions? Like giving a description of what flower arrangement you want and asking them to make 2-3 floral designs based on it. If you can get a wedding planner they can take some stress off you.

[cocoabeans]

Worrying about being stressed is stressful. Accept you don't have control over many things.

Go traditional and let the wedding plan itself. Don't be picky on the details because no one cares what your flowers are or what font you're using in the invites. Your wedding is just a party to celebrate your relationship. Focus on what is important. Focus on the people.

[Crazy cat lady]

I just renewed our vows with my husband a few months ago. I pretty much did all the planning on my own. He didn't help with much. I found the location, I picked out the cake and cupcakes, I got his clothes and my boys' clothes. I do have to say that my mother-in-law helped out a bunch. She helped pick out and make the centerpieces, and did most of the decorations. As beautiful as everything turned out, I was very glad to see the night over.

I know how hard it is to be stressed. I always try to take on too much and get beyond overwhelmed. Then I just fall apart and am completely useless. I wish you luck in your wedding planning. See if your man would be willing to help any. But I know that I like to make sure things are done right, then I have to do it myself.

[purpledaisy]

I have been married and divorced MANY times (thank you, bipolar disorder), and helped plan a few weddings in addition to my own.

Back when I was planning my weddings, I was SO into it, worrying about every tiny detail, and I let it consume me. Each wedding got bigger, fancier, and more expensive. (The weddings are, in fact, some of my big "manic regrets" and I am incredibly embarrassed now that I had these huge weddings.)

Advice?

Don't let the wedding control you. Just don't.

Nobody cares how thick the paper is for your invitations, what colors you choose, what font you pick.

Nobody will remember what your dress looked like unless it's God-awful ugly or doesn't fit well.

If you look pretty and you're happy, that's what they'll remember.

Nobody will remember the songs or the readings. Nobody will remember if the napkins at the reception had your name and dates and a design stamped in them, or what color they were.

So don't worry about that stuff.

Just do something tasteful, that makes you happy, that you can afford, and let the truly important stuff shine.

What's the truly important stuff? I guess it depends with each couple. To me, the most important stuff would be the sentimental stuff, really slowing down and living in the moment that day instead of feeling like you're on display and rushing through it all, spending time with loved ones (especially those who travel to be there).

Big, flashy weddings aren't "real life."

Spending tons of money on one day isn't wise for most couples.

But stepping back and figuring out what's most important about the day and keeping it from becoming a monster can take a lot of stress away.

[Zoesmom]

Planning a wedding can definately take on a life of it's own. Don't let it! Make it very simple. Let others help.

We didn't have a wedding when we first got married almost 16 yrs ago and I regretted it. Had open heart surgery Aug 07 and as I layed in intensive care i remember hubby saying when you get out of here you can have our wedding. I remembered that!

In 08 we had our wedding. It started stressing me out big time starting to plan it. A couple ppl asked to help and I let them. I had to let it be more simple and have help. It turned into a beautiful day I enjoyed.

Remember you want to enjoy the day and not be totally stressed out.

[Mollie May]

I've had a group of friends jump in to save the day. Not all the stress is gone, but at least some of it is lifted.