[ravenlee]

I have been having a hard time totally accepting my bipolar. For many years I just beleived I was crazy, then doctors kept treating me for depression. about a year ago i finally hooked up with this really great psychiatrist who diagnosed me bipolar and we did the rounds of meds. i am pretty stable now - i take a combination of lexapro, lamictal, lithium and serequel. so many meds make me feel like an outcast to society but the moods swings did too. I have recently been confronted with some of my past poor choices in a very public forum. i am struggling to get through it and find that i can't bring myself to be totally honest with even my closest friends. i really need a support group that i can be totally honest with and not feel judged. i've done some bad things that are catching up to me and it is even hard to face myself. i hope that i can begin to feel trust here so i can get help during this time.

[DaveyJones]

Ravenlee,

I can totally relate--it took ten years for me to be properly diagnosed with BP. Since my illness resulted in divorce and bankruptcy, I'll be dealing with the consequences pretty much for the rest of my life.

I have found that becoming a part of a bipolar support group is helpful; I feel more comfortable talking about bipolar issues and behavior among those who have been there themselves.I don't have much outside social interaction at the moment, since I have just moved in with my Mom to try and get things together, but I try to limit how much I tell others about my condition; it's hard enough to get to know folks without dropping that on them, unless of course my illness winds up affecting them in some way.

These are things we all have to go through; all I can say is get your support system together--for me that's mdoc, pdoc, T, 3D support group and online support (all of you here) and family and friends.

I wish you well, PM me if you need to talk.

Hugs,
DJ

before i was diagnosed bipolar, i truly thought i just couldnt control myself.

Now it makes sense why I would do these things one time, yet be so against them another time (when stable)

[(JD)]

Welcome to PC ravenlee! I hope you feel at home here, too

[ravenlee]

i really want to just lay it all out, openly, somewhere but i find myself hesistent even here to say what i have done and what that means for who i am. i hope that if i can continue to be part of this support that i will find a way to say it -