No more mushy.. boo hoo crap from me. I'm not an attention mongrel. I said what I wanted to say and now it's done. Can we talk about BP not having control over us and how we can make a difference in our lives? Cocoa said it really well when he/she said that we can choose the thoughts that we pay attention to. I do that with sui thoughts, not paying attention to them that is. I had never considered doing that with other thoughts and Cocoa really got me thinking.

I would LOVE to hear more along those lines and have that kind of discussion instead!

[moremi]

I think its a great idea. I do this as well.

Do you think that we can have control, mentally, over the 'side effects' of BP?

I mean, the social, emotional, and behavioral negative aspects?
I always just was damaged in these areas and I learned to accept it. then I got my diagnosis and had a reason why. I started viewing BP as the engine that destroyed me in these areas.

then I read what Cocoa said and it got me thinking... Do I really have to be that way or is it something that I can control and change...

Every time I tried to change it before it was in short bursts and always blew up in my face. Do we really have control?

[moremi]

Yes I believe to an extent we do. I believe a lot of it is all in our head. If I have a party to go to and I have had a bad day. Im anxious and am probably not going to have a good time. If I talk myself down though, talk to myself and breathe get myself calm. I can take that anxiety away and go to the party and have a good time. When I was younger I couldnt do this. It is something I have learned through experience. When I was younger I would have either attempted the party for a short short time or more than likely cancelled sick.

Do you keep an active 'perspective' on how it is you want to be? Like, a mental, "This is who I want to be" checklist in your head and compare things to it?

[moremi]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

Do you keep an active 'perspective' on how it is you want to be? Like, a mental, "This is who I want to be" checklist in your head and compare things to it?

No not reallly who I want to be. I just know I want to be a good person and I try my best everyday. Some days are better than others. When Im having bad thoughts, I make them better. I make myself better because I can.

[moremi]

I dont know if you believe in God, I do and I pray for strength too.

that takes a lot of strength. It's so much easier to use bp as an excuse. I admire you for that.

I think that belief in and of itself is where people find strength. I don't necissarily believe in any god, but I do recognize the power of belief. That is something that I have not had in quite some time. I gave up on the churchs and the bible a long time ago.

[moremi]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

that takes a lot of strength. It's so much easier to use bp as an excuse. I admire you for that.

Thank you. BP is just a part of who we are. It makes us stronger people than your average person. We have been through so much more than the average person can even wrap their little minds around. It would be easier to just give up and blame it all on bp and lay down and give up. But Im a fighter and I love my family. I cant let them watch me rot away. Dan your going to find your way. Your going to be the best you that you can be and there is nothing fake about that. Find your true passion in this life. Probably your family and pour your emotions into them. Love them like crazy and let them know everyday how much. When your angry, decypher it inside your mind before it comes out of your mouth. When your on one of your highs let yourself be happy and let your family enjoy that with you. Play games with them or let them see how whitty you are. Work on your Strengths that bipolar has given you.

I will try.

This is a really good thread Dan. Victim mentality or I think they used to call it "learned helplessness" is very widespread and far reaching. I think it's safe to say that most people who have been through a lot in life, have probably at some point gone through this even if just while. It's really easy to get stuck in this thinking too, but it's debilitating. So it's a great subject to talk about.

Here is a quote you might like.. “Everything can be taken from a man but …the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” I remember you use to post quotes.

I think the first place to start would be to identify the areas in your life where you use this type of thinking. And then asking your self some questions, "what do I want?", "where would I like to see myself?".

And then you can ask yourself some more questions.. "what can I do do change this?", or make it better, or how can I think about this differently so that I can see where " I " can help myself.

After you have all that then you can make a plan of action, and put it to use.

This changes your whole perception, it makes you feel empowered because instead of feeling defeat you will start to feel that you have choices, and have control over your life. It puts you right back into the drivers seat. It gives you some freedom.

When I gave up this kind of thinking, I had a lot of fear about it. It was comfortable, and I didn't trust myself, or have healthy self esteem, not much belief in myself. How can I be in the drivers seat without those things tho? So those are probably things we need to work on as well to get ourselves out of this.

I think maybe a big thing in this is not letting things define us, not illness, heritage, income, etc. You can't always change how others define you, but you can change how you define yourself. Maybe the others will take your cue, and define you differently too once you start to, like your wife for example.

My computer isn't showing me other replies till after I post . So forgive me if I am just repeating what has been said already.

[moremi]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

I think that belief in and of itself is where people find strength. I don't necissarily believe in any god, but I do recognize the power of belief. That is something that I have not had in quite some time. I gave up on the churchs and the bible a long time ago.

That is completely up to you. I believe to each their own and never try to push my God on anyone. He is just that "my God" I do not go to church. I dont believe I have to go to church for my God to hear me. We are good and I know that. You believe in whatever it is that you need to find your strength.

The only way I can seem to get past the fear sometimes is the thought that there is nothing anyone can do to me. I know they can't beat me up, and words are just words. Does a belief in god help you like this?

[moremi]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

I will try.

Good, I bet we see a happy Dan on here real soon!!!!

I hope so lol

[moremi]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

I hope so lol

me too

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, landscaperdan, I drag my butt out of bed every morning and get myself to work regardless of how depressed or manic or mixed I'm feeling. Because I refuse to let my kids and husband down and give in to my malfunctioning brain.

My drive is
1 part inspiration from watching my mom work and go to school depsite the fact that she was dying.

1 part fear of seeing my kids go hungry or want for heat, a home, a bed to sleep on...

1 part stuborness that I can't give up.

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

Do you keep an active 'perspective' on how it is you want to be? Like, a mental, "This is who I want to be" checklist in your head and compare things to it?

I do. Sounds kinda like a weird thing to do maybe. I check in with myself to make sure that my actions and thoughts and feelings about stuff actually still line up with what I want to see. Or with my beliefs.

My therapist talked to me once about being congruent, having our actions thoughts and feelings all match up in line with one another. I think when we don't have them all matching up it creates a great disharmony within ourselves. Oh that's in my signature actually too.

That's a bit different I think than what you were talking about, but I do think it's good to do check in's with ourselves and have a goal of where we want to go with it.

I have always been to worried about not being genuine, but this has always been the best idea i have had to do. Glad to talk to someone else who puts this into action!

[moremi]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

I have always been to worried about not being genuine, but this has always been the best idea i have had to do. Glad to talk to someone else who puts this into action!

I dont think you have to worry about not being genuine. Stay true to yourself in everything you do, but you are allowed to be happy, you are allowed to feel good when your mind says feel good there is nothing fake about that. You sound like a pretty genuine person. Just dont go around doing the valley girl voice then people might think somethings up....lol jk No but seriously let yourself feel happiness, when your are feeling too down, change it and make it positive. Check in with yourself like Anika said, make sure your staying where you want to be. Its been good talking to ya Dan

you too... thank you!

[moremi]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

you too... thank you!

your welcome anytime

[moremi]

You know I was thinking sometimes I do that. I have some very off the wall things that run through my head too so bare with me. Here is a thought though to take with you today..... Who says that we are the ones who are abnormal? What if God truly meant for this world to be seen it the way we can see it and feel it and smell it and taste it? More intense? More vivid? Whos to say that isnt what normal is supposed to be and that, the norms shouldnt be getting extra doses of seratonin or whatever to be able to see, feel, taste, hear, and feel emotions the way we can? I dont know just a thought.....